Redeemed: Book 3 of the Greenwood Trilogy
by Kathoran
Summary: The Company of Thorin Oakenshield has reached Erebor, but Aeyera's task is not yet complete. Gold sickness has taken over Thorin, turning him against her. The armies of men and elves approach quickly. Her nightmares have returned, carrying with them an omen of death. The final battle approaches, and Aeyera must choose between the one she loves and the king she has sworn to protect.
1. Chapter 1

My name is Aeyera Greenleaf. Also Celebhiril: Silver Lady, and Tindómiel: Daughter of Twilight. I was born a princess of a land once called the Greenwood. What once was good and pure has since become sick and foul, and is now known as Mirkwood. When I was very young, my mother was murdered by orcs in an attempt to save my brother and I. Since then, my father has hated me and sought an opportunity to be rid of me.

Two decades later, the dragon Smaug attacked the dwarf kingdom of Erebor. When I heard, I rushed to the aid of the dwarves, unknowingly leading many of my father's soldiers as well. My brother, Legolas, caught me and carried me away, preventing me from helping them. Before he did, Thorin Oakenshield—known then only as Prince Thorin, son of Thrain—saw me. Thinking I was leaving him, thinking that it was I leading the army—an absurd notion yes, but a notion all the same—and that I was refusing to come to his aid… Well, darkness grew in his heart. Hatred for all elves, but especially towards the King and I.

I was exiled for my crime against the elf king Thranduil. I and those who followed me were banished on pain of death from ever returning to the Greenwood. I parted ways with my brother and soon after was taken prisoner by the evil that dwells in Dol Guldur. For twenty years I was tortured—for what end, I do not know—until one day the guards were sloppy. I know now that they were preparing for the battle of Azanulbizar—the battle for Moria. The pale orc, Azog the Defiler, ran me through with a Morgul blade and left me for dead.

The skin changer Beorn found me and took me to his home, where I was found and healed by the rangers, the Dúnedain. Once I was able to fight, I joined the rangers in their quest of the defense of Middle Earth. For over one hundred years I fought and lived with them. I made dear, dear friends and experienced loss. Not for the first time, of course, but it was the first time one of those who were dear to me died of old age. First it was Argonui, son of Aragorn. Then came Arador, his son. Arador's son, Arathorn, was a dear friend of mine. He passed away a decade before I joined the quest for the Lonely Mountain, though I did not find out until the day I pledged myself to the quest. His child, Aragorn, I never met. All these are the chieftains of the Dúnedain I knew.

The magic in the Morgul blade, coupled with the experienced I had, began to drive me towards insanity. Darkness began to encroach on my mind, twisting my thoughts. I left the rangers and began to travel west, to the sea. If I had had my way, I would be in the Undying Lands. As it turned out I was confronted by Mithrandir, the Grey Wizard, who convinced me to travel with Thorin Oakenshield on the quest to reclaim Erebor. I did, and became close friends to the Princes Fili and Kili. I did not know of their lineage when we met, only that they were kind. We grew very close, and we saved each other more times than I am able to remember. All the while Thorin hated me, until I saved his own life. Only then did he forgive me.

We travelled on to the home of Beorn, and it was on that month-long journey that I realized that I cared for Kili, son of Dís as more than both a brother and a friend. I… carried a torch for him. Soon after this realization, we came to the borders of Mirkwood. We became lost, and were captured by my brother and his soldiers. My father beat me when he saw me, and I spent my time as his prisoner mending. I shared a cell with Kili, and we discovered something beautiful we each held for each other in the darkness of my father's halls: love.

My brother freed me from the dungeon and allowed me to run. I have been given the gift of foresight, in a way. It has happened only a few times, but a brief glimpse of the future is shown me, with a rhyme, or poem—a prophecy—to go with it. I had one as I fled, and I awoke as the company was attacked by orcs. Kili, the one I loved, was wounded by a Morgul shaft as he fought to save his family. We escaped to Lake Town, where a bargeman by the name of Bard took us in and protected us. When Thorin grew greedy, we were found. Using bribery and the promise of gold, Thorin convinced the people of Esgaroth to provide for us. He left the following morning, taking all but five of his fourteen companions. I was left behind, as were his nephews and two others. The anniversary of the day I received my Morgul wound fell on Durin's day, and I was unable to fulfill my duty to the King.

That night, the wound possessed me. I was knocked unconscious, and I experienced a strange thing: I saw my mother, dead for centuries, and she healed me. When I awoke, my wound was but a scar. However, Kili was dying. The Valar spared his life and healed him, though why, I do not know. He asked me a question, and… my mind still spins as I think on it. My pulse races, and my cheeks stretch so wide with grinning that my face begins to ache. _"'Do you think she could have loved me?'... 'Do you think she would have married me?'"_

The dragon draws ever nearer, bring pain and suffering in its wake. There is nothing that can prevent it, and I dread its coming. I can sense it, and he is so close that my very bones tremble as my smile fades. The others cannot hear him yet, but I heard his voice as it echoed through the valleys and across the lake. **"I am fire. I am **_**DEATH.**_**"**

I leaned forward and rested my face in my hands, exhausted. Dark, messy curls and small, intricate braids hung about my face like a curtain. The dragon's voice continued to echo through my head, driving away all the happiness that had flooded through me just moments before. The bells of the town began to ring, softly first, then frantically. The sound resonated through the town and on into the night as the dwarves and children within the small house began to rush around frantically. The scent of smoke and sulfur began to fill the air.

Unbidden, the memory of mine and Thorin's first true fight came to mind, where he had snuck up behind me and had tried to cut me down. I remembered how his hatred for me had caused him to nearly kill me, and how I would have died had Kili and Fili not intervened. It was at that point I had truly realized how much he hated me. I thought for a long moment, going over every conversation we had shared. I remembered the kind version of the dwarf king I had seen at Beorn's home, where he told me of his One, Nadaí, and of his family. When had he stopped hating me? It must have been after I saved his life, and his nephews' lives. He owed me a debt. Was that the only reason he had stopped trying to kill me? Because he owed me his life? His family's lives?

My thoughts took on an even darker turn. I remembered the cloud of darkness that seemed to hover around the dwarf king Thror like a cloud when we first met. I remembered the anger than filled his eyes at the thought of giving up his treasure, and the rage that had crossed Thorin's eyes when my father had suggested it. Suddenly I grew afraid, and I wondered what would happen if Thorin entered the hoard. Gold sickness. Icy terror flooded my veins. If Thorin were to be overcome, then all would be lost. I doubted that either Kili or Fili could be taken in, but Thorin? I did not want to find out. If he becomes lost, my life will be forfeit. I swore on my life to protect the line of Durin, if the king falls—

I shook my head, wincing as my nails dug into my temples. I couldn't afford to think that way. Not now. I made a promise to protect the king and his kin, and I could not allow doubt to overtake me now. Not now that I was free.

A burst of elation swept through me. I was _free. _Free of the wound I had carried for so long. Free of the burden that had been forced upon me so many decades ago. Free.

Fili came and pulled me to my feet, his sharp eyes taking in my ashen face and the fingernail marks on my skin. He took my hand, squeezing it comfortingly. "We'll be alright," he said, pulling me over to where Kili was struggling to his feet.

"I'm fine," Kili snapped, giving Bofur the cold shoulder as the miner tried to help the prince stand. I placed my shaking hands on his, and the prince's dark eyes softened as they met mine. He turned his hand over and held mine tightly. They were ice cold.

"Let me help you," I whispered, closing my eyes. He stood finally and leaned heavily on me, avoiding placing weight on his injured leg. He pressed his forehead to mine. His skin was sweaty from fever, and his countenance was ashen. I remembered the terror that had enveloped me when his heart had stopped, and I began to shake. "Please." One of his large hands enveloped both my small ones, and the other gently touched my face, resting on my cheek. "I don't want to lose you again."

I opened my eyes, staring into his as tears stung my eyes. His face had regained some color, and his eyes were alive once more, filled with love. A slight smile curled his lips. "I'll never leave you," he whispered. He pressed something cold into my hands. "I promise."

The people below and all around us began to shriek, and as everyone in the home began to rush for the door, I looked down. A small, blue-black stone lay nestled in my hands, runes shining in the firelight. _His runestone. _The sounds surrounding me faded.

I looked up into his eyes, my mouth opening in shock. "Kili?"

He leaned forward, pressing his lips to my forehead. The stubble coating his cheeks tickled the skin surrounding the spot, and I smiled as tears of joy ran down my face. He pulled away, his expression now urgent. "We have to go now, alright?"

He pulled me out the door and into the once-peaceful night, now stained by fire and death. The stars were veiled by a red-orange glow emanating from the mountain, and a horrible thought struck me. What if the others were dead? That would make Fili the king, and Kili the crown prince—one glance as Fili's ashen face proved that the same thought had visited his mind as well. If the same fear haunted Kili, he didn't let it show.

He kept a tight grip on my wrist as he pulled me along towards the boat where the others already sat, ready to cast off, waving frantically for us to hurry. I kept a death grip on the stone clutched in my right hand as Kili tugged me along by my left. Shadows darted and danced across the splintered planks as men, women, and children rushed to and fro searching for safety that no longer existed. "Stay with me," I panted, helping Kili as he limped forward.

As the dragon let loose a bone-chilling shriek and unleashed his first wave of flames, the dwarf beside me breathed out a single word that caught on the wind and made my broken spirit soar. "Always."

We reached the boat just as it cast off, and we crouched down as the people of Laketown began to scream. The odor of scorched flesh filled the air, mingling with the sulfur and smoke that already filled our lungs. Bard's children huddled together in the middle of the craft, shaking. I pushed the stone into a pocket sewn into the inside of my tunic, where it would be sure to stay safe. I drew my bow, waiting for the dragon to pass overhead. Whenever it did, I let loose an arrow, trying to bring it down, but every arrow simply rebounded off its hide.

The row of houses to my left burst into flames. At the same moment, a large barge weighed down with gold slammed into us, nearly tipping our smaller vessel over. The master and his men yelled and ran this way and that, trying desperately to escape, and a wave of hatred rolled over me. I saw the master's right hand man, Alfrid, scrambling around like a rat, fingering coins and earrings as his bulging eyes took in the hellish scene around him. Kili took my hand as I tensed, fingers unconsciously reaching for my bow. I turned and met his eyes, my own widening in fear at the realization at what I had almost done.

"_Bain!_"

We turned in time to see Bard's only son leap from the raft into the water and make his way through the frigid water onto the docks. I grabbed Tilda's tiny waist as she tried to leap after her brother, and I could see Bofur struggling with Sigrid. "No, girls!" The looks I was met with cut my heart. Their blue eyes were wide with hurt and confusion and anger.

"Aeyera, look!" I turned to see Kili pointing to a lone figure atop one of the only buildings not yet burning, pulling back his bow to take aim at the dragon still wreaking havoc on the town.

"_Da!_" The smallest girl's frantic cry brought tears to my eyes. In the red light, I saw Bain pull a heavy metal arrow from the confines of a nearby vessel. He looked over and met my eyes, nodded once, and took off towards his father.

I immediately took up a paddle and began rowing the boat as quickly as possible towards the edge of town. If Bard's aim was true—and I had seen him in action, I knew it was—then the dragon would come down, and when it did, we had best not be anywhere near it.

Bodies choked the waterways. Some floated facedown in the water, while others still struggled and squirmed in the freezing lake. Many men, women, and—most horrifically—children lay on the planks surrounding us. Some moaned in pain, blisters and burns covering their bodies. Other lay still, frozen eyes staring blankly at the sky. The screams that still echoed through the air drilled into my mind, inviting madness back. I wondered for a horrifying moment if I really was free—maybe madness couldn't be healed.

The other dwarves had picked up their own paddles by now, and together we made it out of the wooden confines of the city. I looked back, my heart heavy, and took in the horrific sight of the city on fire. Sparks flew up into the air, and the red glow lit up the sky, obscuring the stars. Other boats joined our own, but they were few compared to the number I had seen the day before. A horrible shriek cut through the air, and I doubled over, covering my ears, unable to believe my eyes. The dragon flew high, so high he looked small, and then the most miraculous thing happened. The glow that had surrounded him faded, and then disappeared. He paused midair and hung suspended for a moment. As I watched, he began to fall, slowly at first, and then quickly. The serpent dropped like a stone, and as I stood up in elation, my heart thudded to a halt. He landed on the city, and nearly a quarter of it was crushed under his body, including the tower Bard had stood upon. Tilda and Sigrid began to cry out, screaming, but I couldn't make out their words. It wasn't until Kili and Fili grabbed my hands and forced me to sit down that I realized something else was wrong. A wave, no doubt caused by the dragon's fall, surged out from where it had landed. It reached our craft, towering over it, and our boat buckled and tipped, spilling each of us into the pitch-black lake.

The water was ice cold, and I stopped moving for a moment in shock. The energy from the wave spun me around, sending me deeper into the water. The first thing I did was to check for my stone, my hand darting to the pocket where it resided. It still sat safe in my pocket, and relief flooded my heart. I kicked up, pushing with my arms and legs over and over again, and my head broke the surface of the water.

I gasped for breath, shaking and sputtering. "K-Kili? Kil-li?! F-Fili?! W-where are y-you?" I swung my head around, shaking the soaked braids out of my face. Sigrid and Tilda gripped the underside of the boat, and Oin floated nearby, sputtering. Bofur broke the surface, coughing and retching. "Kili! Fili, where are you!" My voice grew more frantic, and I kicked around, trying to turn. My foot hit something, hard, and I shrieked with shock.

Two moments later, Fili appeared, sported a bloody nose. "Mahal, woman!" he yelled, sputtering on the scarlet blood coating his face. He cupped his nose in his hands, and I would have laughed at his expression had I not been so terrified. "Watch where you're kicking!"

"Where's Kili?! _ Kili!_" My voice reached an almost unnatural pitch, and I began to choke on the water and my own sobs. "Kili!"

I took a deep breath and dove down, kicking upwards and propelling my body down. It was dark, so dark, and I could just barely make out shadows within the murky water. One shadow in particular caught my eye, and I grabbed it. Its face came into focus, and I made out Kili's panicked face and wide eyes. Pulling as hard as I could, I began to lift us up back into the air. The prince kicked weakly with his good leg and pushed with his free arm, trying to help, but we weren't making good progress. Just as I feared we both would be lost, a hard tug on my cloak yanked me upward. My head broke the water, then Kili's, and I gasped for air, my aching lungs filling gratefully. I drank in the smoky air, coughing every few seconds as the lake water fought its way out of my lungs.

Fili, nose still dripping blood, pulled both of us to the boat, which we clung to, shivering and coughing, while we regained our breath. We flipped the boat and climbed into it one by one, hauling each other into it and gathering the supplies that had fallen out. Once that was done, we headed for shore. By the time we neared it, the braids and strands of hair surrounding my face had frozen, and my whole body was numb. Fili kept his free arm wrapped around his brother, no longer paying attention to his nose. It didn't look broken, thank goodness, but blood still dripped off the end of it.

When we reached the shore, Bofur and Fili leapt off into the knee-deep water and pulled the craft up onto the rocky beach. We all unloaded, and while other survivors from Esgaroth came and crawled onto the rocks, the princes and I stood shoulder to shoulder, watching the city burn with the same horror and certainty in our hearts. We had caused this.

A separate, darker though grew in my mind. Thorin had angered the dragon, which meant that he may or might not be alive. I had seen a glimpse of what the gold sickness could do. If it was as bad as I feared, Thorin could lose sight of who he was completely. If he grew angry with Fili or Kili, angry to the point of madness—and tried to kill them—my breath hitched in my throat. To save the one I loved and fulfill my vow to protect the line of Durin—I looked over to Kili, standing upright and strong even as his face twisted in pain over his leg, and at Fili, who stood with the poise and grace of a king—what would I do? My heart skipped a beat. Would I kill the king to protect the princes? Would I kill Thorin if it meant that Fili and Kili would be safe?


	2. Chapter 2

The next two days stretched into an eternity. The people of Laketown spent hours swimming through the frigid water to the shore; only a few undamaged boats remained. Most had either burned in the fire or had been capsized or sunk as a result of the wave. Those who had watercraft at their disposal spent their time rowing to and from the shore, ferrying people across from Laketown and saving those left behind to freeze or burn. I was put to use by a kind old woman who knew of the healing abilities of elves, and I spent my time doing my best to heal those with severe burns or lacerations.

Every few hours one of the princes would fetch me and drag me out to help Tilda and Sigrid search for Bain and Bard. The girls were frantic, digging through makeshift tents all along the shoreline and searching the faces of every passenger brought to the shore by the remaining rafts. Bofur helped them search while the princes and I searched the bodies littering the shoreline and floating in the shallow water nearer to the shore.

After the first few times, I refused. Every time I returned to my post, I would be ashen faced and weak, of little use to those in need of healing. My heart sank at the thought of brave Bard, who had given his life to spare those who had locked him away, and of loyal Bain, who had rushed to his father's aid without a thought for his own safety.

As I removed my hands from a child's back, uncovering the nearly healed burn that stretched across his skin, shouts began to fill the air. The little boy, who couldn't have been more than five years old, stood and lifted his arms as I slathered the wound with some sort of medicine and wrapped his torso and back with bandages.  
"Thank ye, milady," he said softly as I helped pull his tunic over his head.

"You're welcome," I answered. "What is your name?"

"Micah," he answered, whipping his nose with a grubby sleeve.

"It is an honor to meet you, Micah. Where are your parents?"

His big blue eyes filled with tears, and he hung his head, twisting the fabric of his shirt in his tiny fists. "I dunno. Papa got me out of the house, but he fell in the water, and the someone in a boat picked me up and brought me here." His teary eyes held mine, and my breath hitched. Soot streaked his skin, and his dark hair hung sloppily around his thin face. "Are they okay?"

I knelt down and wrapped my arms around him, careful to avoid jarring his back. "I don't know, little one," I murmured into his hair. "But I am sure the Valar are watching over both you and your parents."

The woman in charge, Freida, appeared suddenly, waving around a dishrag like a whip and muttering loudly. "—Alfrid!" I stiffened, jerking around at the name. "I swear, if that man so much as _thinks _he can steal our supplies, I'll—"

Before she could turn around, I ducked out of the makeshift door, heading for the crowd, which was steadily growing louder. I still clutched Micah to my chest; his skinny arms remained tightly wrapped around my neck like a vice, his face buried in my shoulder. The crowd parted for me.

"_Micah!_" A frantic woman tore through the crowd, blue eyes wide and full of tears. An equally disheveled man followed in her wake, limping along as quickly as he could.

The child's head lifted off my shoulder and looked around wildly. "Mama?" he cried out. "Mama?!"

"Micah! My baby!" She reached me, and I held the boy out to her gently. She took him into her arms, weeping, and clutched him to her chest as she sobbed, sinking to the ground. Her husband reached her and knelt down beside them, taking his wife and child into his arms.

"Mama, Papa!" Micah was crying too, his eyes squeezed shut.

"My baby, my baby, you're safe now, Mama's got you, you're safe," his mother continued to whisper over and other, rocking back and forth on the cold earth.

Her husband stood, leaning heavily on his uninjured leg. He bowed to me as best he could. "Thank you," he said, voice choked with emotion. "Thank you for saving my son." All I could do was nod as my throat and heart ached. There was something about seeing this family together, something about holding a child in my arms that made me want to weep, whether from grief or joy, I did not know. Because of my wounds, I could not bear children. Oh, how I wanted them, so badly—but it would never be. Some wounds cannot be healed.

The man lifted his wife and boy and led them away. Micah waved at me over his mother's shoulder. The crowd parted automatically for me now, villagers nodding their heads respectfully to me as I passed. I strode forward, head held high, until I reached the center of the circle. There, to my complete disbelief, stood Bard, Bain at his right hand. He held Alfrid's wrist in an iron grip, and his dark eyes smoldered with rage.

I gasped, freezing where I stood. "Bard?"

"_Da!_" Tilda and Sigrid appeared out of nowhere, nearly knocking me over in their attempt to be the first to reach their father. They ran to him, and Tilda leapt into his arms and wrapped her legs and arms around him, nearly knocking him over. He wrapped his arms around his daughters securely, gripping them so tightly as if to ensure they would forever be safe from harm. I glimpsed Alfrid being held by several villagers, but a thought blocked out any and all concern I held for the people. They could work out their own problems.

I remembered my brother suddenly, and my blood turned to ice as surely as if I had been doused in the freezing waters of the lake. Legolas had been in the town when the dragon arrived, hadn't he? He and Tauriel—if they had been injured, or killed—

I stepped away and began pushing through the crowd, searching every face. How had I not thought of him before? How had I forgotten? _"Legolas?" _I shouted. I reached the edge of the crowd and began running towards the tree line. He would have gone there, wouldn't he? He wouldn't have stayed with the townspeople, surely—_ "Legolas, where are you? Legolas!"_

A flash of gold caught my eye, half hidden by the trees. I stopped, teetering on one foot, unsure whether to run forward or not. _"Legolas?" _His head and torso emerged from the foliage as he ran forward, keen eyes darting this way and that, searching for something, for someone—for me. _"Legolas!"_ I screamed. I ran forward, moving so swiftly I might as well have had wings. He ran forward as well, desperation and relief prominent on his face. When I reached him, he lifted me off my feet, wrapping his arms around me. I could feel him shaking, and I realized that I was shaking and crying as well. One hand fisted my braid, the other pressed against my back.

I could hear the relief in his voice as he spoke, and he held me securely as if afraid I would disappear if he let go. _"Aeyera, you're alive—I heard about the dragon, and I thought you—I feared that—" _The unspoken "or killed" hung in the air, and I gripped my brother tightly. He arms trembled, and his heart drummed so forcefully against his ribs that I could feel it against my chest.

_"You got away," _I breathed, feeling warm tears drip down my cheeks.

He let out a breathy laugh of relief. _"Yes, little sister, we got away."_

"Aeyera!" We both turned to see Kili and Fili walking towards us. The elder held my pack, my bow and quiver strung over his shoulder. Kili glanced between Legolas and I, confused, before his gaze settled on me.

"We're leaving now," he told me softly. His brown eyes softened as I smiled at him. "I'll meet you at the boat." He turned and headed back towards the shore, his brother following behind.

I released my hold on Legolas and stepped back, resting my arms at my side. I twisted his ring around my finger. _"I must go."_

_ "Stay with me," _Legolas said suddenly. I stared at him in surprise. _"You're a part of my family, Aeyera."_

I looked over my shoulder at the dwarves, who were leaning in to speak to one another as they walked. Kili nudged his brother, and Fili clapped him on the shoulder. I could hear Kili's laugh from where I stood, and my heart swelled. _"So are they, Legolas." _I pulled up my tunic to reveal the scars inflicted by Thranduil when he beat me. _"But Thranduil is not. I no longer have a place among the wood elves." _

His face, which had been the same for all the years I had known him, seemed to age ten years. He looked crestfallen. _"But I'm your brother," _he whispered, sounding confused and hurt. My heart felt as though it were being torn in two.

I reached up and rested my hand against his cheek. _"And I will always be your little sister," _I whispered back, hugging him once more time. I breathed in his scent, like pine needles and rain. I pulled away. _"Goodbye."_

He made no move to stop me as I turned and ran, choking back tears. I made to avoid the throng, but when I saw Alfrid pull Tilda from Sigrid, yelling something to the crowd, I swerved off course and tore through the assembly. Something within me snapped. I reached her side just as the little girl brought her heel down on the deputy's foot. He shrieked and released her, then turned in time for my bow to whip him across the face. He spun in place and collapsed to the ground, cursing.

"Alfrid Lickspittle," I growled, gripping my bow tightly. I all but spat his name, and he rose unsteadily to his feet, cupping his swelling cheek.

His eyes burned with hatred, and his unibrow furrowed angrily. "Who do you think you are? I'll have you flogged for this—" An arrow was nocked to the string and inches from his face before he finished speaking. He stared down at the arrowhead, going cross-eyed to keep it in view.

"Do not touch speak to me of punishment," I snarled. "If anyone deserves a flogging it is you. You are a _pathetic_ excuse for a human. You are lesser than a dog." My hands were steady, and my heartbeat thrummed in my ears. It would be so easy to let go, so easy to end him now…

"Princess." Bard stepped up and grasped the arrow shaft, lowering it to face the ground. The spell broke, and I blinked, confused and horrified at what I almost had done. "Enough."

I took a step back, sheathing my weapons. I pointed at the sniveling man cowering behind the bowman. "Get rid of him, Bard," I told him. "Send him to Thranduil, or somewhere else in the East, but do not keep him here." A flash of a vision entered my mind, and I shuddered. Bard looked confused. "He will bring ruin upon you all. Send him away."

I turned and began to walk quickly towards the boat. "My lady, sending him away would be the death of him."

I stopped dead and turned my face so he could hear me, but I did not turn around.

"I know."

The crowd parted for me, stepping out of my way quickly. Rage filled me, clouding my mind, and the old marks on my back throbbed. I remembered the crack of the whip, the burning, tearing feeling of my skin being ripped apart and stripped from my body. I shivered, and my hand went to the runestone hidden in my pocket. The curved surface pressed against my chest, and I took a deep breath, clearing my head. The dwarves waited for me at the shore, and once again I marveled at how short I was, that Fili and Kili both stood eye to eye with me.

They watched me with concern, and Kili took my hand, squeezing it gently. "I'm ready," I said softly. I smiled at he and his brother and stepped into the light craft with the others, picking up an oar.

We began to row towards the opposite side of the lake, heading towards the mountain looming in the distance. As we sailed, we made slight conversation. I spoke to Fili of his betrothed, Kída, whom I had not thought of since before our capture in the Misty Mountains.

He smiled happily, but his eyes were sad. "It has been so long," he murmured, staring down at a ring upon his finger. "I wonder if she will recognize me."

"It has not been so long," I said, placing my hand on his shoulder.

"It has been seven months," he replied softly. After a moment, he lifted his head. I was reminded again of how regal he seemed, almost like a lion. "I miss her," he whispered.

I leaned forward and placed my hand on his, clasping it tightly. "Fili," I whispered. "I know how you feel, and I know how difficult it is to be separated from someone you love." My throat grew tight, and my eyes stung. I remembered my vision of the two princes falling, pierced by a dozen arrows. I forced a smile through the tears that burned my eyes. "But do not worry. You will see her again very soon, I am sure of it." I would not allow them to die. I would take every arrow meant for them, if it meant that they would live. I thought of the tales of our afterlife, how we would pass into the Halls of Valinor before being incarnated. Incarnated as what, I was not sure. An elf? But my people were leaving Middle Earth; there would soon be few of us left. I frowned, brow furrowing. A man? Hobbit?... Dwarf?

"Thank you, Princess," Fili murmured. He tugged his hand away gently, then dipped it into the lake and splashed his face.

"Aeyera, would you… If Bard hadn't stopped you, would you've—?"

Kili was stumbling over his words, and my heart sank. Would I have killed Alfrid if Bard had not interfered? I did not know. I shook my head, keeping my eyes on the wooden planks at my feet. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kili's hopeful look falter, then fall completely. Fili and the others turned around, moving to the front of the craft to leave the two of us alone in the back.

"I do not know, Kili," I whispered. "I would like to think I would not have done so, but… something changed the night I was healed, Kili." I looked up and held his gaze, aching for him to understand. "I was not myself. The darkness… it defeated me. It was driven back, but it left its mark, and I am afraid that I am changed because of it."

I closed my eyes as tears threatened to spill over my lashes and down my cheeks, and opened them as a large, warm hand engulfed my own. "I refuse to believe that," Kili murmured. "You are good, and pure, and fair. You are a fighter, Princess. You will not be overcome by something such as this. You are a child of courage, Tindómiel." I looked up in surprise at the sound of the elvish name on his tongue. "You need not fear the darkness."

"Tindómiel means Daughter of Twilight," I whispered.

"And I thought that you loved best the light of the stars," he countered gently. I stared up at him helplessly, my heart hurting. He leaned forward until our foreheads rested against one another, and I closed my eyes as he placed his hand on my hair, his thumb brushing against my cheek. "Amrâlimê," he breathed.

I smiled slightly, letting out a puff of breath as I opened my eyes. A tear fell down my cheek, and he caught it on his thumb. "I don't know what that means," I whispered.

He smiled, his nose brushing against mine. "I think you do," he said softly.

My heart broke, and I fell against him, letting all my emotions pour out from me. All the sorrow, all the anger, all the confusion, and all the love poured out of me as I sobbed into his shoulder. The knowledge that he would die, that I could do nothing—it broke me. And that is how I knew I was whole. I would not be able to weep had I been consumed by the darkness, and I knew I was still pure, still good. Kili's arms wrapped around me, and he rocked back and forth as I wept for the future that would never come to pass, for my mother, and brother, and for the dwarves I had grown to love so much. I knew that no matter the consequences, I would protect them, even if it meant losing my life. With that knowledge came peace, and the sun set on our little boat of outcasts: two dwarves who had lost their home; two princes, born in exile; a forgotten princess. The sky grew dark, and it was twilight when I finally lifted my face to his.

We were nearly to the shores of Erebor, and I spoke to Kili as we neared the beach. "Everything is going to change now, isn't it?" I asked.

He nodded, his eyes sad. "Yes. But that does not change us, Aeyera," he murmured. He kissed my forehead, and my heart throbbed and swelled all at once. I understood now what I had not had the experience to seven months ago when first I met him. I loved Kili. I loved him. I loved him, I loved him, I loved him.

"Will you stay with me?" I touched his cheek with a shaking hand, my fingertips brushing his beard softly. The boat bumped against the shore, grating against the rocks beneath the kingdom of the Dwarves of Erebor.

His dark eyes searched mine, his face solemn. He brushed a loose curl behind my ear, cupping my cheek. "Till the end."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey: this is an awesome chapter so I won't keep you: just thought I'd let you know that The Princess of Mirkwood has been fully revised. Okay, love you, read on!**

"Let's set up camp here for tonight," Fili announced, sliding his pack off his shoulders and letting it bump into the ground with a soft thump. We had pulled the boat under a thicket of bushes in the hopes that it would not be found, but were too fatigued to do much else. We were only about a hundred years from the shore of the lake, but night had settled over the world, and we all were exhausted.

It was beautiful here. The lake stretched out like a shimmering blanket reflecting stars and moon nearly without imperfection. Chunks of ice glided along the surface of the water, occasionally bumping into one another and sending ripples careening across the surface, only to still moments later. The moon had risen and now hung suspended like a jewel over the water, its light yellow since it had risen such a short time before. Its twin floated just below the surface, its light shattered and beautiful all the same. Before long I knew that the twin's glow would turn silver and wash everything in the light the elves loved so much.

The beauty, though distracting, did not help to completely quell the fear and apprehension in my heart. It was at least a two day hike to the gates of Erebor, assuming we stopped to rest and eat, and honestly… I was worried about what we could find there. Assuming that Thorin and the others had survived, it would mean that other dwarves would come; that my time in the company would be over. Assuming they had not made it, Fili was the king and Kili was the crown prince. I would give my all to protect them both.

Once we had gathered enough dry wood from around the camp, an easy feat considering how few times it ever rained this far east, Oin set to work building a fire. Kili and I moved around him, piling up large rocks to circle around the fire to prevent sparks from torching the vegetation in the nearby area.

This done, we set down our bedrolls and lay them close to where the fire would be, moving as near to it as possible without courting the possibility of being burned. Oin was done quickly, although it took him longer alone than if his brother had been with him, and a merry blaze was crackling in the pit in minutes. The five of us huddled around it, sharing blankets and cloaks to keep warm in the cold October night. Fili and Kili sat on either side of me, our blankets resting on each other's shoulders like they had during the nights of midnight watch before we reached the Misty Mountains. We did our best to seem light and happy, although everyone but I had a brother or uncle or cousin missing in the mountain that loomed dark and cold above us. We shared hardtack and dried meat, and then told stories, watching our breath spiral up towards the stars.

"When Uncle first began teaching Fili to shoot," Kili began, a mischievous grin crossing his face, "I feel that he had too much faith in him. See, I learned to shoot a bow when I was very young, and by the time Fili learned…" He cleared his throat, glancing away at his brother's warning look. "Ahem. Well, I had more experience, and we'll leave it at that. Well, Thorin was teaching him one day, and I was out watching and fetching the arrows that missed the target. So… _all_ of the arrows, really. Anyway, Fili was getting really frustrated, and Thorin was telling him to use more force to guide the arrow. So there's Fili, being shown up by his little brother, and he pulls back on the bowstring so hard that the bow actually snaps in half, flies back, and smacks him in the face." I laughed loudly, doubling over. Bofur and Oin chuckled as well, and even Fili held back a grin. "He's still got the scar from it," Kili added, grinning widely. Fili fingered a small white line almost completely hidden by his braided mustache, and he grinned at me. "And so he picks up another bow, fuming, and doesn't notice that I—"

Fili suddenly cleared his throat and stood. His smile had vanished. The blanket that had been draped over both out shoulders slipped off. I craned my neck and stared up at him, confused by his pained expression. "We should rest," he announced. "We leave early tomorrow."

The mirth that had warmed the group faded as the others moved around and settled into their places around the fire. Fili sank down on my other side, sighing heavily, and placed his head in his hands. I moved closer to Kili, who wrapped his arm around me to rest on my back, and rested my cheek on his shoulder. "What happened?" I asked Fili softly.

"I didn't see Kili behind the target," he whispered, voice filled with pain. "We were in the woods, see, and he was hidden, running off to fetch some missing arrow. I was angry, and I didn't pay attention to where he was. My next shot went wild, and..." I could imagine what happened next, and I pictured it in my mind as he spoke. A young, impulsive Fili pulling back and releasing the string, but losing his grip. Watching as the arrow flew off to the left into the leaves. Turning around to ask his brother a question as a blood-chilling scream splits the air. A tiny, terrified Kili screaming and falling to the ground clutching the shaft of an arrow. The connection between the shot and the scream registers first for Thorin, and then for Fili, and the uncle darts off towards the younger brother. A small Fili, panicked and horrified at what his actions had caused, running for his baby brother, the one he loved most. A pale Thorin scooping up the injured dwarfling and running as fast as the wind back to the healer and to Dís and Kiri, leaving a small, frightened Fili alone in the woods to cry and follow after his family. "I nearly lost him," Fili whispered, curling his fingers in his hair and tugging on one of the braids there. "I nearly _killed _him, Aeyera. I don't want others to know the story, but since I expect we'll know each other a long time, you might as well."

"That's why you were so adamant about staying in Laketown," I realized. My heart warmed at the show of affection between the elder brother and the younger, and I felt tears prick my eyes.

The golden-haired heir nodded. The fire caught in his eyes and sent shadows dancing across his regal features. It might have been a trick of the light, but for a moment I could have sworn that I saw a crown perched upon his brow. "I belong with my brother," he said, his deep voice full of emotion.

I nodded, unable to speak past the lump in my throat. So much love flowed between the two brothers. They would do anything to protect one another, and would never leave each other. I thought back to when the stone giant had separated the two of them; how terrified they both were at being forced away from the other. I wondered if they had ever been forcefully separated before. I wondered again how close my brother and I would have been had I not been exiled. I loved him; I would always love him, but I wondered now if I loved him as much as I once had. I chose the company over him.

_'No,' _my thoughts interrupted gently. _'You chose _Kili_ over him.'_

Fili stood and went to his bedroll, leaving Kili and I together watching the fire. I added a pair of branches to the flames, watching as beads of sap snapped and exploded into sparks.

"Kili?" I whispered.

"Hm?"

"The other night, you…" I swallowed, suddenly terrified. My brother's ring suddenly became remarkably interesting, and I twisted it around my finger with quaking hands. "You asked me something. You had a fever, and I don't know if you remember, but you asked—" my throat was as dry as a desert, and my tongue felt like wood. "You asked if I could have loved you. And then you… You asked—" I couldn't breathe. I couldn't finish. He watched me with wide, curious eyes, and I choked. I couldn't do it. I sat back, falling off the log, and scrambled to my feet, dusting off my tunic with shaking hands. "Never mind. Forget it."

"Aeyera—"

"I'll take first watch, you go to sleep." Without waiting for a reply, I darted into the nearest tree, hiding in the foliage.

"Aeyera." I shook my head even though he could not see me, wrapping my arms around my knees. "Aeyera, come down." When I didn't reply, he sighed and walked away. I relaxed, but tensed a moment later when he returned, dragging his bedroll behind him. "If you won't come down, I'll sit here until morning. You know… to protect you. From danger, and… stuff." He settled down and pulled his blanket up over his legs, leaning back against the trunk. "Do you mind if I talk?" he asked. "I prefer to talk than to sit quietly." He waited for a reply, but since none were forthcoming, he continued. "I first noticed you at Bilbo's house," he began. I shifted, my eyebrows furrowing together. "You were hooded, remember? And you were so afraid that we would reject you because of your past. You were brave, as well, and you stood up to Thorin even when he had you pinned; literally." He sighed. "I wish I could have kept you from getting hurt. And I wish we hadn't fought so often. It was all over nothing, wasn't it? Like Fili's courtship; you asked if I was engaged and I ignored you for a week."

"It was only a few days," I whispered, looking down at him through the branches.

"Yes, I suppose so," he mused, pleased that I had answered. I could see the dimples appear in his cheeks as he smiled, although they were nearly covered by his beard. "But it felt like a year. Even then I hated when we fought; I was just too prideful to admit it." I smiled slightly; I always thought so as well. We were very similar in that respect, I supposed, though I had tried to make amends before he had. "Do you remember the stone giants? I was so afraid when you and Fili were torn away, I didn't… I was terrified you weren't going to make it. I was afraid I had lost both of you forever." I looked away, biting my lip. A pinecone rested a few feet away, and I recalled the events of Goblin Town with a shudder, once again feeling the bite of the whip against my back and feet. "And then you were alive, and I was so overjoyed. Right after that, we were captured by goblins. Aeyera, when you took my place down there, I—" he let out a shuddering breath and clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "I still want to yell at you for that, honestly, even though I am thankful. And that wasn't even the first time, either—You saved my life before Rivendell by jumping in front of that warg, and in the goblin caves. You saved Uncle even though you could barely walk by standing up to Azog even though he had tortured you. You pushed me out of the way at Beorn's house and were nearly bitten in half. You stood up for all of us in your father's palace even though you could've walked away; they didn't recognize you. You gave Fili hope even when he was lost, by reminding him of the love he holds for Kída. You healed me, Aeyera, when I was dying from that blasted arrow wound. Aeyera, I can _never _repay you for what you've done for me, but I will spend a lifetime trying." He paused for a moment. He seemed to be thinking hard about something, and I caught the look of regret he gave the lake as he gazed at it sadly. "I wish we hadn't fought."

"I do too," I whispered, hugging my knees to my chest. My heart ached; I yearned to be near him, but I was too afraid.

"But we made it out," he said softly.

I laughed gently. "We always do."

"And we always will," he finished. I jerked in surprise and nearly fell off my branch. I gripped it with a shaking hand and stared down at him. "Aeyera, I know I haven't known you for very long. I know there are others you've known for decades longer than I who care about you, but I want you to know that none of them could ever love you as much as I do." I sat up, pressing my hand against my mouth as hot tears spilled onto my cheeks. "Aeyera, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I know I might sound selfish, and I don't want to hurt you if I die and you're left alone. I won't do that to you if you don't want me to. But Aeyera, I love you." He laughed, his voice choked with emotion. "I love you more that I can say, more than I ever can express. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Aeyera."

He stood and faced me, turning his face upward so that he was illuminated by the moon and starlight even as shadows from the leaves dappled his face. I leapt from the tree and landed in front of him, tears drying on my cheeks. I knew I had to make my choice. Because of my mother's blood, I could choose a mortal life. I knew I would age differently that mortal men, or even dwarves, but I would do it. For him. I would live, and then I would die, but I would be with him. Always.

He reached out and touched my cheek with feather-light fingertips, looked apprehensive. His eyes were full of love, and my heart felt as though it would burst. "Aeyera, I love you. I've can't remember a time when I didn't. It's as if this whole time my heart knew exactly who it was looking for: you." He knelt down until he rested on one knee, the other in front of him. His right hand held mine gently whilst his left hand took my other one, and then he brought them together. "Aeyera, Princess of Mirkwood, member of the Company of Thorin Oakenshield. I love you more than any other. More than Fili, more than my mother, more than Thorin, and I always will. We have had our adventures, and now I ask you to join me for another one, one that we will only take together: will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

He gazed up at me with dark eyes that reflected and shone with the light of the stars, and I saw my mother's constellation there. He radiated such joy, such hope—My heart swelled and pounded against my ribs, and my mind raced with thoughts. What would happen were I to marry him? Who would accept an elf as a princess of a dwarf kingdom? I couldn't bear children—or could I? I thought about the wound that had healed, and a sudden hope grew within me as well. What if I _could_ have children now? I wanted nothing more than to be a mother, than to have a family—and yet I wanted nothing more than to protect Kili and Fili and Thorin, either. What if I failed because I was Kili's wife? What if Thorin didn't accept me? What if—?

I suddenly knew: I didn't care. As long as I could spend the rest of my life with him, with Kili, I was content. I nodded my head rapidly, letting out a breath I didn't know I had been holding, a smile breaking across my face. "Yes. Oh, Kili, yes!"

His face lit up, and he took me by the waist and picked me up, spinning me around and laughing. When he set my feet on the ground, we stood very close together. Our hands were intertwined between us, resting on his chest. "Kili, I love you." I suddenly couldn't form another coherent thought. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

We stood for a while, our foreheads pressed together, before a hearty laugh broke out from behind us. We both turned to see Fili standing before the fire, hands on his hips, a kind smile on his face. "Congratulations, little brother," he said warmly, striding over and clasping both of our shoulders. "And sister, I suppose." He winked at me, and I smiled brightly, my heart singing. "It took you long enough," he added good-naturedly to his brother.

Kili laughed. "How long have you known?" he asked. His eyes crinkled when he smiled, nearly disappearing.

"That you carried a torch for her?" he clarified. "Well before now. Before Rivendell, even. I can't put my finger on a date, precisely. I knew you loved each other, though, even if you both were too stubborn and hard-headed to see it." He rested his lips against my forehead, then Kili's, and then backed up and smiled softly at us both. "I wish you the best," he said. "Now get some sleep. We have a long hike tomorrow. It's my watch."

We nodded and followed him back to the fire, Kili dragging his bedroll behind him. We pulled our things close together and sat down, parallel to the fire so the light shone on both of us. Kili took down the messy braids in my hair and brushed through it with his fingers, gently removing the knots and tangles from it. He then began to braid an intricate design into my hair, weaving piece after piece together beginning near my right eye and travelling down behind my ear.

"It's a courtship braid," he explained softly. "Fili can show you how to give me one tomorrow. It shows that you are betrothed to me." He smiled so brightly the stars were put to shame. He finished, binding it with a single silver bead. It was simple, but it had an intricate design etched upon it that matched the design on Kili's hair-clasp. "The bead is supposed to be a symbol," he told me. "But I do not have a courtship beat yet. When we reach the mountain I will find or make a real one for you." He leaned forward and kissed my cheek, managing to catch the corner of my mouth. "I love you Aeyera." "I love you Kili," I murmured. We lay down facing one another. Fili moved to the edge of the firelight and sat guarding us against whatever lurked in the shadows. Kili's eyes drifted shut, a smile on his lips. His breathing evened out as he relaxed, and the scent of pipe weed hung in the air from Fili's pipe. It was a comforting smell, somehow, reminding me of the years spent with the Dúnedain. That journey was over, I realized, accepting it with grace. I was surprised to realize that I felt no sadness, no grief that the life I had missed for so long was now gone; only peace. Lost whom I had lost had moved on, and it was time I did as well. I gazed at Kili with love, my heart full to bursting with joy. Another journey had just begun, and I intended to make it last as long as I could.

I reached over and brushed a strand of hair out of his face, letting my fingers rest against his skin was hot; burning like the sun and the forges his kin loved so much. Mine was cold, like the light of the stars and moon. Together we were beautiful, shining like the sky. I leaned over and kissed him in the same manner he had kissed me, allowing tears of joy to escape my eyes and trickle down my face. In that moment, I knew what my choice was, and I knew I would never regret it. I felt my heart thrum with life, pulsing with new life as I whispered the words that would change mine and Kili's lives forever.

_ 'I choose a mortal life.'_


	4. Chapter 4

"_Kili, we can't save him. We have to go."_

_ He gazed at me for a few seconds, dark eyes darting across my face. He met my eyes, and his own darkened. My heart crawled into my throat as turned away, and I froze as he spoke. "No."_

_ "Kili—"_

_ He cut me off with a wave of his hand, a scowl disfiguring his face. "No, Aeyera!" He was shouting now. I didn't understand. He had been fine a moment ago—why was he so angry now? "I am the prince!" he gestured to himself, throwing his hands in the air. "I can't run away like a coward!"_

_ I tried to speak calmly, tried to speak reason into him, but my panic and fear twisted my words. "You are not a coward. Kili, if you stay here, you will die. Your brother will die—Your uncle will die! Do you not see that? It is not cowardice to save the ones you love." My voice lifted in volume and in pitch, and I spoke desperately, begging him to see reason. "My mind has gone before, Kili! I know what madness looks like. I have felt it firsthand. Thorin has been taken by it!"_

_ "No," he said, backing up. He was afraid now, and his fingers grasped at the stone as though he were trying to claw his way out of the mountain. He looked like a cornered animal. "If—If we just find the Arkenstone—"_

_ "It will seal his fate, Kili." I stepped up and gripped his hands in mine. They were cold, and that worried me. Always his hands had been hotter than mine, but now they felt like ice. "Perhaps it is better it is not found." I touched the betrothal braid in his hair, then moved my fingers to rest against his cheek. "My love," I whispered. "I will not allow you to die. I made a promise to protect your family, and I will keep it until my final breath."_

_ He let out his breath and rested his face against my hand. He reached up and captured it in his own, and I could feel him shaking. "Aeyera, I cannot go against Uncle. You know this already. I am not as brave as you to rebel against my king."_

_ My heart broke. He—he was choosing them over me. "Kili—"_

_ He looked up and met my eyes, silencing me. "However, I will not allow either you or Fili to come to harm. If it comes to it, I will stand against him. I will fight. For you."_

_ "Kili." I stepped forward as he wrapped his arms around me, and I embraced him tightly, pressing my face into his neck. He wasn't wearing armor today, and I could feel his chorded muscle shifting as he breathed. His heart drummed against his chest, its beat matching my own._

_ "I won't let anything happen to you," he whispered into my hair, pressing his hand into it and twisting his fingers in the dark brown locks. "I promise." _

_ The dream shifted, and suddenly I stood upon a battlefield. The necklace that symbolized my immortality hung heavily around my neck. Everywhere I turned I saw death. Carrion crows circled above the field, cawing to one another, but the Erebor ravens kept them at bay. I kept my eyes out for two, the only two I should have been protecting; the two I had been separated from: brothers, inseparable in life—and in death._

_ I caught sight of a familiar blue tunic and began to run towards it, limping as quickly as I could on my mangled leg. There were no orcs left alive. I passed the bowman, Bard, on his way back to his camp and ignored him. The tunic grew clearer. It was Kili's. I began to sprint as best as I could, taking deep, shuddering breaths as I hurried towards my fiancé. _

_ After an eternity, I reached him. He lay beside his brother, whose dark grey tunic was soaked in blood, both orc and his own. Fili was unmoving, face streaked with sweat and dirt and blood, but I knelt beside Kili, whose face was as pale as death. I pressed my quaking fingers against his neck, checking for a pulse._

_ "Kili, Kili, Kili—" I murmured his name over and over again, running my hands over his face and hair over and over again. "It's okay, you'll be okay—" _

_ I looked up in time to see a figure in all grey pass by close to where I sat. "Gandalf!" I screamed. He turned and saw me, then began to hurry towards me, lifted his staff out of the way as he came. _

_ I looked back down at Kili, the one I loved. "Wake up," I whispered. "Please wake up."_

"Wake up, Aeyera. Wake up."

My eyes fluttered open to reveal Kili's grinning face. "Good morning, Princess." His teeth shone in the early morning light, and his eyes twinkled. His hair was mussed from sleeping on the ground, and bits of grass stuck to his beard and bangs. He never looked more beautiful. I sat up, and he followed me until we sat cross-legged, facing one another. I winced at the pain in my back but shrugged it off. The lashes my father had given me were healing, and he would never touch me again.

I gave him a tentative smile, suddenly shy. "Hello."

He gestured to the sunrise. "I thought you night like to see it," he told me, watching me carefully as I turned my eyes to stare at it, my breath catching in my throat. The pale blue sky was streaked with gold and rose coloured clouds, with violet ones in between. The smooth lake, no longer interrupted by the people of Laketown, was nearly flawless, and the sun's twin stared up at it from the depths, its own rising mirroring the original is all its glory. Behind me, the last of the stars still shone, along with the moon, which was setting behind the Misty Mountains. It was a truly breathtaking sight.

"It's beautiful," I told him, my voice as soft. A delicious breeze lifted my hair and tossed it gently about my face. The birds were not yet awake, and so a wonderful stillness filled the air.

"When can I give you your courtship braid?" I asked.

Kili's face lit up, and just then Fili sat up, looking around with bleary eyes. "Right now," my betrothed informed me. "Fili!"

The blond looked around until focusing on us, and the sleepiness vanished. He grinned and crossed over to us, shaking the ache from his joints. Once he reached us he sat down beside me, smiling. "Can you show me how to give him a betrothal braid?" I asked him softly. "I-I don't know how."

He smiled gently. "Of course."

Using strands of his own hair as an example, he began to show me how to braid different pieces together carefully. I followed his example, copying it into Kili's soft brown locks. He stayed very still the whole time, and I held my breath, afraid I would mess up. I didn't, and Fili finally stood, nodding approvingly. Once I finished, I clasped a silver bead around it, sealing it. Kili turned and captured my hand in his, wrapping his fingers around mine.

As Fili headed down to the lake, I leaned against Kili, resting my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me, being incredibly gentle as if afraid I might break.

"Kili?" I asked softly.

"Hm?" The vibrations from his voice tickled my skin, and I smiled, shifting slightly.

"Did you ever speak to Thorin about us?" He stilled, and I turned my head to face him. His dark eyes stared out at the lake, and his eyebrows were furrowed in thought. "Kili?"

He blinked and turned back to me, his expression clearing. "Aye," he answered. "Once."

I bit my lip, tapping my toes nervously against the inside of my boot. "And what did he say?" He smiled at me, his smile lighting up his face. I mirrored it. "Kili?"

"Aye, I did." He paused, his dimples becoming more pronounced. I nudged his shoulder playfully, and he laughed. "He respects you, Aeyera," he announced. "He respects you greatly, especially after everything you experienced at the hands of the goblins and your father. I have no doubt that he will give us his blessing, Aeyera."

I wrapped my arms around him, leaning into his warm body as the sun's pale light washed over Middle Earth. Too soon, the moment ended. Oin and Bofur woke up, stretching and muttering irritably. Before the sun reached over the tops of the trees, we had set off again, my pack heavy against my still-healing back. Kili and I walked beside each other, helping one another along. He still walked with a limp—understandable, what with being shot in the knee not a week before. More than once he would reach out to help me and then would not let go of my hand for a long time.

I still worried. Even with my courtship braid in my hair, even with my fingers intertwined with those of the one I loved. I was afraid: afraid for us and afraid for those within the mountain. If they still lived, then I knew that Thorin would become a victim of gold-sickness. I could not bear to see that happen. Much sooner than expected, we reached the ridge overlooking the entrance to the mountain.

It still would be several hours before we reached it, but it was the first time I had seen it in two centuries. I realized with a start that I stood in the exact same place I had when I had become an exile. It was from this spot that I had watched Erebor burn.

Kili noticed my pale face and took my hand. "Aeyera?"

Fili and the others had begun to make their way down the ridge. I shook my head. "I'm alright," I whispered. "It's just…" I looked over at the mountain that loomed against a grey sky, and I shuddered. "It's been so long. So much has changed."

"I know," he murmured.

"What will happen when we reach the mountain?" I whispered. "What if…" I couldn't say it.

"Don't think about it," he replied softly. "We'll find out in a bit; there's no use worrying about it now." From the pallor of his cheeks, it was clear that he was very worried, but I said nothing. I nodded, then followed Fili, still holding onto Kili's hand.

"Let's talk about something else, then," I said softly. "I can't bear to stay quiet."

"Can I ask you something then?" he asked me. I nodded and slid down an incline, trying to balance on the loose slate that littered the hill. Once we were safely beyond it, he spoke. "What did your father do to you that last night?" I tensed, nearly jerking my hand out of his grip. He immediately looked apologetic, but he did not take the question back.

"He flogged me. I told you all already." I did not want to remember it. The stripes on my back burned as the wind turned bitter cold. I drew my hood up to cover my face.

"Why?" he asked, sounding grieved. "Why would you allow him to treat you like that?"

I laughed bitterly. "I fear you assume that I am a better warrior than I actually am," I told him. "I could do nothing. Even if I had not been physically overwhelmed, he had leverage over me. He knew this."

"What?" he pressed. He was frowning. His dark eyebrows drew together, framing his brown eyes. Strands of hair whipped across his face, but I noticed with a burst of happiness that his courting braid remained fully in tact.

"You," I said. My voice was so soft that the wind nearly snatched it away without his hearing it. He turned his face towards me, looking so morose that my heart nearly broke. "He knew how much I care for you. He told me that if I did not betray you, he would kill you. All of you."

I shuddered as I thought back to his exact words. I remembered the sound of clinking chains, the sound of the whip cutting through the air and the feel of my blood running down my bare skin.

_"_'You know why you are here,'_ Thranduil said, his voice deadly calm_. 'And you know what you have to do to leave.'

_ When I didn't answer, he nodded to one of the guards, who struck me across the back with one of the rods. It made a sharp whistling noise as it flew through the air, and I yelled as it slammed into my skin. I leapt forward, swinging on the chains. I grasped then with my hands, scraping the metal with my nails._

'Just betray them,'_ he whispered, moving to stand inches away. He leaned down so that our faces almost touched. __'You've done it before.'__ His hot, sour breath made me sick. _'You betrayed your family.'

'You are not my family,'_ I bit out, glaring up at him through bloodshot eyes. I cried out as the pole struck my naked back once more. _'They are more of a family to me than you ever were!'_ I screamed and clenched my teeth as the bar sliced across my skin thrice more._

'So you care for them, do you?'_ he questioned. He paced before me, not glancing once at my trembling figure. He nodded. The pole struck me a dozen more times, and I was crying, biting back sobs as my body shook wildly. The chains rattled; they were the only things keeping me from collapsing__. _'What if we were to take your cell mate down here?' _he mused. _'Would the sound of his screams persuade you to obey?'

_ I began to shake now out of fear and rage, not just out of pain. My mind clouded. _'I will kill you if you lay a finger on any of them,'_ I gasped out, leaning forward._

_ He stopped his pacing in front of me and gazed down at me in mock pity, his lower lip sticking out a bit. _'Oh, I'm sure you will. But for now, let's not resort to extreme measures.'

_ He nodded, and the all-too-familiar whistle of a whip cut through the air. I barely had enough time to tense before it broke through the skin, leaving a bloody welt in its wake. I shrieked and surged forward, stopped by the chains. One of the guards came and held me in place as the other continued. I counted, as I always had, timing the lashes in an attempt to alleviate some of the pain. Thirty-three. He stopped, and the guard unchained me. I fell to the ground, unable to hold myself up._

_ Thranduil knelt down, being careful to keep his robes out of the blood. _'After today, you will have one more chance,'_ he whispered_. 'If you refuse me, you will die.'

_ He swept out of the room with his two guards, and two others entered right after and wrapped up my back. They knew that if unattended, I would die of infection, and so they always cleaned and wrapped the wounds. I had learned early that although they were my father's men, they partially remained loyal to my brother. At least, these two did. As they pulled the tunic back over my head and tied my wrists together, Thranduil stepped back in. _'I will take her back,'_he said authoritatively. The two guards glanced at each other, then at him, and nodded, allowing him to grasp my shoulder and yank me out the door._

_ He then grasped the rope binding my wrists and used it as a lead rope of sorts to pull me up the corridors and stairs back to the dungeon. He said nothing, but a smirk rested on his lips. When we reached the cells where the company stayed, he glanced around. They had not noticed us yet. _'Which is yours?'_ he mused. I glanced unconsciously at the cell I shared with Kili, and his smirk grew. _'How nice.'_ He pulled me forward and I tripped, slamming my knee into the stone. As I struggled to get up, my arms raised over my head, he kneed me in the ribs, and I cried out as he jerked me to my feet. The company's attention was now focused solely on me. Most, like Thorin, were dumbstruck; others, including Dwalin, were not. Thranduil threw open the door of an empty cell beside Kili's, across from Thorin, and shoved me inside. I remained where I fell, shaking, as the door slammed shut and locked. He strode away, straightening his robes. _'One more chance, traitor,'_he called over his shoulder. _'Or they all die, starting with the one you love most.'_"_

I shook my head to clear it and returned to the present, taking a deep breath. Kili was alright. I look a moment to remind myself where I was. I was with him, nearly to Erebor. My journey was nearly at an end. I was safe now. Kili was safe and whole. Not all was well, but he was safe.

"And you would be willing to give your life to protect us?" he asked incredulously.

"Kili, he threatened to torture you. After what happened when you were dying of the arrow wound, I—" I took a shuddering breath. "I think that I would have agreed to anything. Anything he would have had me do, I would have done it, so long as he was able to hurt you."

"Aeyera—"

"Kili, I love you." I stopped and faced him, staring deep into his eyes. "I cannot bear to lose you."

He took me face in his hands and kissed me gently, wiping away the tears that head begun to trickle down my cheeks. "I love you, Aeyera," he told me softly. "And I swear that I will protect you. Thranduil will not touch you. Azog will not touch you. No one will touch you ever again, and I will never hurt you."

I nodded and leaned forward so that our foreheads rested against one another. "I know."

A short time later we stood before the gates of Erebor. The only sound was that of the wind howling through cracks in the stone. Dread seeped into my bones. There was nothing here. I glanced at Fili. Was he the king now?

"Come on," he called, leading us forward over the rubble. "We have to find the others."

Kili and I glanced at each other, and then followed, hands gripping each other tightly. I could feel his racing pulse. I squeezed his hand, and he smiled at me, although his face was pale and frightened. We climbed over and around enormous chunks of stone that littered the ground, helping one another whenever someone would trip or slip and fall. Bofur and Oin walked ahead of us, looking around. Occasionally they would call the names of their kin.

"Bifur?"

"Bombur?"

"Gloin? Are you there?"

But no response came. Our footsteps and voices and breaths echoed on the stone as we travelled deeper and deeper into the mountain.

We began going down flights of steps, spiraling down deeper and deeper. We passed rooms full of skeletons and caverns filled to the brim with weapons and armor. We stopped at an overhang, looking down at the rubble all around. My heart sank. Are they not here?

The pitter-patter of little feet reached my ears, and I turned my head quickly. Surely not…? A smile broke across my face, and I pulled Kili towards the noise, heading down another flight of steps. The others followed me. We emerged on another landing, and I nearly plowed into Bilbo, whose panicked face drew my attention immediately.

The hobbit threw out his hands to stop us from proceeding further. "Wait! Wait!" He was out of breath, and he doubled over, breathing heavily.

"It's Bilbo!" Bofur exclaimed, as if the rest of us couldn't see him for ourselves. "He's alive!"

When I tried to step forward, the hobbit shoved me back. "Stop! Stop! Stop! You need to leave." He looked around nervously and pushed at me, trying to force me back up the stairs. "We all need to leave."

Bofur looked confused, but a grim understanding reached me. He looked around at the rest of us for support. "We only just got here."

Bilbo shook his head, and I noticed that his whole body was trembling. His fear was contagious. My heart began to race. "I tried talking to him, but he won't listen."

Oin squinted, leaning forward. He couldn't hear well, being old on top of having a damaged hearing aid, but I still was irritated all the same. "Wh...what do you mean, laddie?"

Bilbo was too frustrated and angry to put up with deaf dwarves, apparently. "Thorin!" He yelled. He lowered his voice. "Thorin. Thorin, he's been down there for days. He doesn't sleep; he barely eats. He's not been himself, not at all. It's this... it's this place." His voice broke as he pointed at the ceiling, and I knew for certain what I had guessed so many times before. My heart sank, and Bilbo covered his mouth with his hand. He took a deep breath and let his hand drop. "I think a sickness lies upon it."

Kili frowned and gripped my hand tightly. "A sickness?" He looked over at me questioningly. "What kind of sickness?"

Fili leaned over me, frowning, and I turned to look at where his attention was drawn. A gold light reflected off the walls from a lower hall. I returned the intensity of Kili's grip, wanting nothing more than to drag both he and his brother out of this hole and never return. Before I could cry out a warning, Fili gasped and took off running. Bilbo cried out, chasing after him. "Fili? Fili! _Fili!_"

"Fili, no!" I leapt after him, the others following in my wake. Somehow I knew that the princes were too good to be overtaken by this darkness, but I still feared for them. We emerged onto a final platform overlooking a cavernous room filled with treasure of all kinds. Gold, silver, gems. I froze in my tracks to keep from running off the stone and falling to my death. No one was here.

"_Gold_." My head whipped around, and my keen eyes caught sight of Thorin prowling along at the edge of the shadows, hunched over and decked with rich furs. A solid gold crown was perched upon his brow. His voice sent shivers of terror down my spine, and I began to shake. "Gold beyond measure. Beyond sorrow, and grief."

I froze, horrified and enthralled by the scene before me. The others lined the walkway on either side, watching their king with shocked eyes. I heard Kili's sharp intake of breath, saw Fili's eyes widen, and felt my blood turn to ice.

Thorin froze, staring up at us, and narrowed his eyes. A moment later, he spread his arms wide, gesturing to the room. To some it might have been magnificent. It made me sick, especially when I considered everything I went through to keep my father away from it. "Behold, the great treasure hoard of Thrór."

He bent down, snatched up a ruby, and threw it through the air with a yell. As it fell, I caught a glimpse of the darkness surrounding it and the rest of the treasure, and I fought against the desire to flee. Fili caught the ruby with both hands and stared down at it, seemingly entranced. When I saw the fractured look in his eyes, I felt relieved. He was afraid, not enraptured.

"Welcome, my Sister's Sons," Thorin bellowed. "To the Kingdom of Erebor!"


	5. Chapter 5

I stared at him, frozen in horror. A strange ringing filled my ears, and suddenly I was sixteen years old again, standing before the dwarf king Thror as my father tried to acquire his riches. The same dark, glittering cloud hung about Thorin's hunched figure. His eyes met mine, and the deadened look he gave me send a bolt of awareness through my body. I turned and ran, sprinting up the stone staircases as swiftly as my legs could carry me.

My mind blanked, engulfed by panic. The only thought in my head: RUN.

One.

The next was completely black; no lamps hung there.

Two.

I broke into light once again and squinted against it.

Three.

"Aeyera!" I didn't stop but darted to my left down a long hallway. Heavy footsteps thundered after me, as well as an occasional grunt of pain. "Aeyera, stop!"

I hurtled down a side path, leaping over scorched pieces of rubble. Beams of light crossed my path; I must have been nearer to the surface than I had thought. I burst through a side door and threw myself against the wall, chest heaving. My fingers were splayed out on the stone.

I couldn't see Thorin or the others. I had to leave. I bent over, breathing heavily. I fisted the fabric covering my knees, wiping off the sweat on my palms. My breathing came easier now, although my throat had begun to hurt.

When I finally caught my breath, I looked up. I gasped, a horrible, strangled intake of air that scraped at my throat. My mind blanked. My knees slammed into the stone, and I sat there, bent over with my hands before me, nails digging into the stone as I choked down a scream.

The room was full of skeletons. All were still clothed and had hair and beards sprouting from their skulls. Dwarf and elf alike sat huddled along the edges of the room. Some clung to each other while others lay flat on the ground. None were burned. A sob rose in my throat and mingled with the scream that had lodged there. These were my people, the ones who had followed me and not made it out of the mountain. I bowed my head and gritted my teeth, hyperventilating and struggling to keep from bursting into hysterics. I never meant for anyone to die. Not here. Not in this place, shut off from the light and the air and the stars. Hot tears began to roll down my face and drip from my nose and chin to the ground.

"…Aeyera?" Kili's hesitant, strong voice filled the room. A scraping sound reached my ears, as well as the sound of fingertips brushing the stone. I heard the soft clink of something metal hitting the ground. I guessed that he had picked up some trinket from among the dust and had then dropped it. "These were your people, weren't they?" he asked softly. He knelt in front me and placed his hand gently under my chin. I lifted my face and opened my eyes, staring straight into his. "It's not your fault, my dear," he told me softly. He brushed away a loose strand of hair as I began to cry harder, and he pulled me carefully into his arms. I curled into him, fisting his tunic as I wept. His lips were pressed against my forehead and his hands gripped my shoulder and arm.

"It feels like it is my fault," I cried softly. "It has been nearly two hundred years, but I didn't—" I choked. "I did not know. I thought they all made it home!"

He held me tighter, rubbing my back soothingly as I began weeping anew into his tunic, whispering comforting words into my hair. "Shh, you're alright. It's not your fault. I love you. You're going to be alright. I love you."

After a long time, my tears ceased. I sat up, rubbing the grit from my eyes with the heels of my hands. When I looked over at him, I found him already watching me, a slight smile gracing his lips.

"What is it?" I asked softly, gently twisting my hair over one shoulder.

He laughed gently. His thumb stroked my cheek, and I leaned into his touch, closing my eyes. "You're so beautiful," he whispered.

I opened my eyes and smiled back slightly, then leaned in and embraced him. His arms wrapped around me tightly and he held me there for a long time. I realized then that this was the safest I had ever felt. I wanted nothing more than to remain in his arms forever. I could feel his heart beating against his ribcage, and I realized again how fortunate I was that he was here, _alive_. A shudder ran through me when I thought of how he had died days before, only to be brought back. I gripped him tighter, and he responded in kind. I never wanted to let him go. Perhaps we could stay here, eyes shut against the rest of the world, alone together in silence, embracing one another until the end of time.

Alas, it could not be. Several pairs of boots could be heard on the stone, and we stood up together, still facing the room. We stepped apart as the voices grew nearer, silently deciding to stay here instead of coming up with another story when we were found. The dwarves searching for us were bickering, arguing back and forth as they searched from room to room.

"Where are they?"

"I think they went this way."

"They disappeared hours ago, how could you possibly know where they went?"

"I can hear them!"

"You're deaf, ye old—"

"What?"

Just then, Bilbo's shaggy head appeared in the doorway, followed by the rest of him. "Oh, there you are!" he exclaimed, obviously relieved. "We've been searching for hours!"

"Hours?" I repeated softly, glancing at my fiancé. Kili shrugged. It hadn't felt like hours to me.

"Oin, Bofur, I found them!" Bilbo called. He turned back to us, furry feet fidgeting on the stone. "Have… have you been in here this whole time?" he asked. I nodded and crossed my arms over my chest, training my eyes on the hobbit and refusing to look at anything else. I watched as Bilbo's eyes moved from the two of us to the rest of the room. He blanched and leapt back, colliding with Oin and Bofur. "What—?" he squeaked, looking like he was about to faint.

Kili sighed, looking decades older. "They were our people," he said softly. "Mine and hers. They perished here many years ago."

"'Her people…'" Bilbo repeated softly. "But I thought they escaped to Rivendell?"

"Not all were so fortunate," I murmured. I could feel my hands begin to tremble, and I stepped forward. Kili placed a comforting hand on my back, holding me up. "Let us go," I said louder, sweeping towards the door. "I look forward to seeing the rest of the company."

"Wait!" Bilbo leapt in front of doorway, barring my path.

I frowned down at him, crossing my arms. "Bilbo?"

He cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. "It might not be the… _best _idea if you went out there right now…" he trailed off.

"Why not?" Kili asked. We stood shoulder to shoulder, and his fingers brushed against mine, sending jolts of electricity up my arm and spine.

Bilbo sighed. I realized how small he was, and how much smaller he must have felt in this great mountain. He was the only one, other than I, who was guaranteed to be untouched by the sickness here. Which reminded me why I ran here in the first place. I couldn't face Thorin. Not here. I had to keep Kili and Fili safe. "It's Thorin, he… well, you saw him in the treasure hoard. He barely eats, he doesn't sleep, he—"

"Why?" I pressed. A slight color filled his cheeks. "Bilbo, what is wrong?"

"It's… it's the Arkenstone," he said finally. His tone twitched, and he rubbed it with the back of his hand. His other hand went to rest in his pocket. He looked as though he wanted nothing more than to disappear. "He can't find it, so he has everyone out looking for it. He won't rest until it's found, and he won't allow the others to either." He paused, distressed. "I wanted you to leave, Aeyera. I tried to tell you. He's seen you now. Can't you go? I don't want you getting sick as well, with whatever he's got."

I knelt down until the hobbit and I were eye-to-eye. "Master Baggins," I told him softly. "I have sworn to protect Thorin Oakenshield and his kin. He does not own me, and he does not own you. But all the same, I stay out of love and duty. I will not leave him. Them." I paused for a moment, letting the gravity of the situation settle over those remaining. His brow furrowed. The rest of the dwarves filed out, talking and heading towards the main hall once more. I stood, and Bilbo led me out. Instead of following them down to the vault, however, we went up, passing through darkened rooms and passages to numerous to count. We did not speak a word the whole time but walked in silence, enjoying the other's company.

We finally exited the mountain, entering onto a small plateau. The cold wind whipped my hair around, and I took a deep breath, relieved to be outside. I turned back to the hobbit, who had seated himself on the crumbling edge of a wall. "You have not sworn to die for them, so don't. Leave now, Bilbo Baggins. Go back to your armchair, and your books, and your garden. Leave before it is too late."

He gazed at me for a long moment, searching my face for some explanation. The hurt in his eyes cut at my heart. I did not want him to think that I did not believe in him—I did! But I did not want to see him hurt. Finally he spoke. "I am not afraid of Thorin."

The memory of the shadow covering Thror at our meeting resurfaced, and I shuddered. I recalled the enraged look that crossed his face. I remembered the anger that had taken hold of Thorin even then at the suggestion that he part with any treasure, and I thought of the look in his eyes only hours before: an insane, obsessive, haunted look that seemed almost… dead. I remembered the darkness hovering around him in the vault. He seemed too gone to be alive.

I looked Bilbo in the eye, placing my hand on his shoulder and squeezing it gently. "You should be."

Bilbo cocked his head to one side, a horrified understanding dawning in his eyes. He blinked once. "Aeyera, what is this?" he whispered. "What has taken ahold of him?"

I swallowed. "I have an idea, but… suffice it to say that it will corrupt his heart until all traces of who he once was are gone."

He looked terrified, and he glanced around quickly. "Well, should we do something?"

I shook my head, a feeling of hopelessness settling over me. "Bilbo, I do not know what we can do short of leaving the mountain."

Bilbo went, if possible, even paler. "He… he is looking for the Arkenstone; that is why he is as… lost… as he is; if it were to be found—the Arkenstone—would it help? Would it save him?" The poor hobbit looked desperate.

A heavy weight seemed to settle on my heart, and I shook my head. "No, Bilbo. I fear it would only seal his fate."

The poor hobbit looked crestfallen, and before I could ask him why, he reached a small hand inside of his tunic and pulled something out. I could not tell what it was, since his hands covered it, but I had a guess, and fear grew in my heart. I knew what would happen if the hobbit held the Arkenstone. If I knew for sure and said nothing, I would be betraying Thorin. My father would get what he wanted. "Aeyera, I need to tell you that I f—"

"Stop!" I yelped, leaping back. He jumped, startled, and pulled whatever it was he held closer to his chest. "Bilbo, whatever it is you hold, you cannot show it to me. If it is indeed the stone, I would be committing treason by not alerting Thorin. If not… I cannot risk it. I cannot allow my father to divide our company."

"What do you mean?" Bilbo asked curiously. He slipped the object into his coat once again, and I looked away until it was hidden.

"You were in his palace, were you not?" I asked. He nodded. "I was as well. I was tortured every night as Thranduil tried time after time to make me betray the company. If I were to find out information on the stone and withhold it, I would be a traitor. Do you understand, Bilbo? I cannot give in to Thranduil's wishes. I went through too much to end here."

He nodded slowly, looking crestfallen but thoughtful. "I understand, Princess," he said softly. "I will not let your pain be in vain, I promise. And I in turn will do whatever I can to protect Thorin from danger, even if it means that he no longer sees me as a friend."

I reached over and gripped his shoulder tightly, tears springing to my eyes. I hadn't known I had any more tears left to cry, but I supposed that I did. "Master Baggins," I said kindly. "You are without a doubt the bravest hobbit I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Thorin is lucky to have a friend such as you." I embraced him tightly, and he hugged me back, his arms too short to wrap around me like mine could him. "As am I," I whispered.

I pulled away and pushed some of the hobbit's shaggy, curly hair out of his eyes. "What does this mean?" he asked, pointing to my braid.

I reached up and touched it, then ran my fingers along it, taking in its beautiful intricacy. When my fingers came to a rest on the bead at the end, I spoke. "It is a courtship braid," I told him softly.

"You're engaged?" Bilbo started, eyes wide. "Why that's—that's amazing, Aeyera. To Kili?" his eyes glimmered with amusement and hope.

I chuckled as a grin spread across my face, stretching my cheeks. "Aye, Master Baggins. To Kili."

"I knew it," he muttered happily to himself. "All that time you two spent talking and bickering like some old married couple—I knew it was only a matter of time before he proposed!" I laughed as the once rigid hobbit carried on like a little boy. He stopped suddenly. "Does Thorin know?" Bilbo asked.

I sucked in a breath. "I do not know. And you cannot tell him, Bilbo. Do not go sharing it with the others either. Kili and I must be the ones to tell him, understand?"

He nodded vigorously. "Of course, Princess," he told me seriously. "Because you'll be the princess of Erebor too, won't you?"

I hadn't thought of that in quite a while. "I suppose. Bilbo, you know that is not a reason for me marrying Kili, don't you?"

He nodded. "I was only teasing, Aeyera," he clarified. "You travelled who knows how long with the rangers, if the stories I heard as a wee-lad were true. Stories of a beautiful elf maid who fought alongside the rangers!" He chuckled. "You lived for a long time with nothing after willingly giving up everything. I doubt you would decide now to abandon all your morality."

For a brief moment I thought he had said "immortality," and I started, afraid. How could he know of what I did? A second later his real meaning hit, and I smiled peaceably at him, letting out a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. "Thank you, Bilbo."

I stood and brushed myself off, shaking the stiffness from my limbs. "We cannot linger out here," I told him softly, taking his hand and pulling him to his feet.

"Why not?" he asked. "I like it better out here than I do in there. My head is… clearer, out here. It's like I'm in Mirkwood again. Whenever you're under the trees, your head is filled with cobwebs, and you can't think—but as soon as you break through the trees, all darkness vanishes, and you can think again." He sighed. "Whenever I'm in the mountain, I feel like I'm trapped in that forsaken forest once again. I would love to make my bed up here under the stars where I can _think_."

I shivered. I did not need that comparison to be made; suddenly I was even less eager to reenter the mountain. I steeled myself, however, because my knowledge of the world overcame my fear. "I understand, Bilbo, and I agree. The air in Erebor is dank with smoke and death, and the magic there is made to cloud one's mind and obscure one's judgment. However, we cannot stay whilst it is dark. Night is falling, and many foul creatures have eyes better suited than mine for seeing through the darkness."

With one last furtive glance at the ever-darkening landscape, I turned and plunged back into the mountain. I was unable to shake the knowledge that Erebor, for all its brilliance and might, was a tomb. Nothing could survive there. And I made a decision then, that no matter what, I would get Kili and Fili out of here; Thorin too, if I could manage it. I had not travelled this far to fail because of a bit of worthless steel that had ensnared his thoughts.

I made up my mind. I would save them—all of them, if I could. But my heart broke with the knowledge that not everyone could be saved. And Thorin… I didn't think I was strong enough to combat the greed, anger, and lust that had taken over his heart and mind.


	6. Chapter 6

I took a deep breath, pressing my hand against the old wooden doorframe. Barely any sound came from inside the room, but firelight flickered under the door. Perhaps I should leave; try and catch Thorin during one of his sane moments. I shook my head. No. There was no telling when the gold-sickness would release its hold on his mind, and I couldn't sit around and wait until he was free. Releasing the breath, I pushed open the door and strode inside, my head held high even as the rest of me shook.

My eyes darted from side to side, taking in everything in the room. All the dwarves except the princes and the king sat on either side of a long wooden table, eating. However, it was not the jovial event I was used to. No food flew through the air. No laughter warmed the room. A fire roared in a fireplace to my left, but it did little to rid the room of its tomb like feel. Barely a smile showed on any of the dwarves' faces, and many of them pushed pieces of food around their golden bowls, subdued. That is, until they caught sight of me. Smiles appeared on nearly every face, and the atmosphere changed instantly.

My ears registered the scraping, grating sound of benches being shoved violently back, and then crashes as they slammed into the wall. Within seconds, I was surrounded by my friends, who all were embracing me and talking over one another.

"Aeyera!"

"It's so good to see you, lass!"

"Where have you been?"

I laughed, tears springing to my eyes. I had been crying a lot lately, I noticed. I embraced Bombur and Ori, the two dwarves closest to me. "It is so good to see you all," I choked, smiling through my tears. They chuckled and gazed at me fondly, proud smiles on their faces. It took me a moment to realize that they were all gazing at the braid in my hair. My stomach dropped, then clenched, and I felt that I might vomit. My smile faltered. What if they hated me? What if they threw me out?

Balin stepped forward and, to my complete astonishment, bowed low, so low that his beard nearly touched the ground. The others followed suit, and I stood frozen. When they had all risen again, Bombur with the help of his brother and cousin, I found my voice. "You… you aren't angry with me?" I managed, my throat completely dry. My voice came out as a raspy squeak.

Dwalin chuckled and stepped forward, clapping me on the shoulder. "Lass, we've known that Kili's carried a torch for you for _quite _a while, it was only a matter of time before he proposed. After everything that happened in those damned elven caves, I'm surprised you're not married already!"

I blushed, my grin reappearing, and Balin stepped forward, tutting. "Brother, don't torment the poor girl. We're happy for you, lass," he beamed at me, his eyes sparkling in the way only old men's could. "Now where is the young prince?" he asked.

I shook my head, my smile fading quickly. "I thought he would be here," I confessed, confused. "He took his leave nearly an hour ago."

"Where have you been, then?" Dwalin asked curiously.

I shrugged. "There was a bit of broken stone outside in the open; like a balcony," I explained. "Bilbo and I were enjoying the fresh air and speaking together."

"And before that?" Balin pressed.

"I found a room," I told him, my voice dropping in my grief. "You already know that my people fought for you here?" He nodded. "Well they didn't all make it out. The room I found… my people and yours were in it, dead, huddled together in the corners—" I looked away, biting back the grief that threatened to overwhelm me. "Kili found me and comforted me, then Bofur and Oin and Bilbo found us. While I spoke to Bilbo, the others left, and Bilbo and I somehow ended up outside."

"Fili was not with the others who found you?" Balin asked. I shook my head, Bofur and Bilbo nodding to confirm my answer, and he closed his eyes.

"Balin? What is wrong?" I asked, alarmed.

"It is possible… no, _probable_, that the princes are with Thorin." I must have paled, for several dwarves exchanged significant looks, all subdued once again. "Steady, lass," he said, placing a hand at my elbow. "They should be along soon."

"But what if it—" My voice was squeaky and afraid once more. "If it takes hold of them—"

A knowing look entered the old dwarf's eyes, and he glanced back at the others. "Go back to supper," he told them. "Our princess isn't feeling like herself." He turned to me. "I'll show you where you can sleep." He glanced at Bombur. "Why don't you get our hobbit something to eat?" he asked kindly. "I'm sure he's hungry."

With that he pulled me gently out of the room as the others sat back down, scraping the legs of their stools against the stone as they hauled them back into place. They began murmuring amongst themselves again almost instantly.

"Gold sickness?" Balin asked me as soon as we were out of earshot.

I nodded. "Yes," I whispered.

"You know of it?"

I shook my head, shaking. "I can see it. It is a dark, glimmering cloud that surrounds Thorin just as it did Thror." Balin frowned, and I stopped him, fingertips unintentionally digging into his sleeves. "You cannot let it take him," I said, voice rising in urgency. "You cannot let it take Kili or Fili. We have to save them."

"And what of the king, lass?" He asked me sadly, brown eyes morose and melancholy. He was older than I, I recalled, and had seen much death, even more than I, possibly. "Would you leave the king to this fate?"

"No, Balin." My frustration grew. I didn't have words for the urgency I felt. Days before I had stood on death's doorstep; I knew the feeling of doom that surrounded this place as it had surrounded Bard's cottage. "But if we do not save the princes, then all will fall to it. It is evil. I had thought Thorin was stronger, but I was wrong. I refuse to allow Kili and Fili to fall to the darkness."

"I understand your thinking, lass. But we are loyal to the king. He demands that we stay, and stay we must. Even the princes. Even you."

"Balin—"

"No, Aeyera," he cut me off sharply. "Do not say it. He may not be thinking straight, but he is still the king. He is my king, and I have sworn to protect him."

"And I have sworn to protect his nephews," I countered angrily. "And if it means protecting them from _him_, so be it!"

"Princess!" He bellowed, surprising me. "Hold your tongue for once in your life." I stood still, stunned. "You cannot speak as freely here as you once did. Yes, I remember you," he said in answer to my confused look. "You don't remember, but I was the one who was your guide during your time in Erebor. I heard you speak to the kings, and while you were brave, you were also very foolish. You cannot speak now as you did then. You cannot even speak as you did on our quest. That journey is over, Aeyera." His voice turned gentle.

"Not for me."

He closed his eyes in frustration and placed his hand on my arm in a fatherly way. "Aeyera—"

"No, Balin." I grasped his hand tightly. "I promised I would protect them. Thorin too. And getting them out of here is best for them. If Thorin harms either of them, it will kill him. I know that hurting someone you love is more devastating than anything. Saving them will save him, Balin." I paused, letting my words sink in, and then gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "But I am not leaving, and I will stay and protect them and love them as I promised I would. I will not abandon them now."

Before he could answer, two familiar, booming laughs echoed through the hall, and we both turned sharply to see who it was. My body relaxed when I saw that it was Kili and Fili striding down the hall, smiles on both their faces. Forced smiles, yes, but smiles all the same. I wondered where they had been; what Thorin had said to them.

My heart swelled as Kili's smile changed from exhausted to elated as his brown eyes rested on me. He bounded forward and scooped me effortlessly into his arms, spinning me around. I shrieked with laughter, gripping his shoulders tightly as he returned me to my feet. He pressed his forehead against mine, breathing deeply. I smiled as his beard tickled my forehead, and I jumped in surprise as he kissed me on the mouth in front of his brother and Balin. After a moment of surprise I kissed him back, wrapping my arms round his shoulders as he pulled me closer.

"Ahem," Balin coughed. We ceased from kissing, although we still held on to one another. My face was on fire, and I smiled so widely that my cheeks ached. Balin smiled kindly at the two of us. "Do you have news, young prince?" he asked Kili.

He nodded, his dimples showing through the dark hair on his face. "I found a raven nesting near where the people of Laketown are camped," he told me. "And I sent a message to my mother telling her of my intentions to marry you." I froze and twisted to face him, sure that all color had just disappeared from my face. "She knows of you, see. She remembers you from when you visited Erebor and she remembers you trying to ride down the ridge to save them. Several minutes ago, I received a reply." My heart beat like a drum against my chest, and I was sure that Kili could feel it. "She approves, Aeyera. She gave us her blessing, and she said that our people are already beginning to prepare to come live here."

I was stunned. I was going to marry Kili. Lady Dís gave me her blessing. I thought back to the young dwarf princess, probably my own age, who had watched me with wide blue eyes as I spoke to Lord Girion and Bain. I had not thought of her in years. I wondered what it was like for her knowing the one intending to marry her son was the same age as she.

"I made you something," he told me shyly, reaching into his pocket and pulling something out of it. He unwrapped it and showed it to me, and my breath caught in my throat. A white-silver bead sat nestled in his palm. Miniscule runes were carved all along it, and tiny bands of metal curled around the edges like vines.

"Kili," I breathed, look ing up into his eyes. He looked nervous and hopeful, and tears pricked at my own eyes. "Its beautiful, Kili." I reached up and pressed my lips to his cheek before resting my head on his shoulder. "Thank you." A thought struck me as he took my braid and traded the plain silver bead for the other one. "What about you?" I asked. "Are our beads and braids supposed to match?"

He nodded. "I will teach you to make one," he smiled softly, kissing my forehead. "Very, very soon."

I nodded, smiling, and placed my hand against his cheek. "Good."

"Laddie," Balin spoke up, still smiling paternally at us. "Did you speak to Thorin?"

His smile faded, and his body stiffened. I grasped his hands, as he squeezed them lightly as if I were his lifeline. "Yes."

Balin waited, then spoke again when an answer was not forthcoming. "What did he say?"

My fiancé glanced at me, then at the elder, and finally looked to his brother. Fili shook his head, and Kili spoke, his words choppy. "He… well, he wasn't himself. He wanted us to lead the search for… for the Arkenstone." I resisted the urge to glance at Balin then, though I desperately wished to know what he was thinking. "He also wanted us to—" he swallowed, and a look of rage crossed his face. "To keep an eye on you, Aeyera, in case you tried to make off with your father's gems."

The look on my face must have been fierce, for Fili himself took a step back. A guttural growl rose in my throat, and it took all of Kili's strength to keep me from tearing up the stairs and ripping Thorin apart. How dare he? How _dare _he?! Didn't he know what I had gone through to protect his family? To protect _him_? Did he honestly think that I would be so foolish; so selfish; so _dishonorable_ to steal from him? From my betrothed? From my family?

"No, lass," Balin reassured me firmly, taking hold of me and looking me in the eye. Only then did I realize that I had been speaking aloud. "He does not think that."

I remembered. Gold sickness. I had to get them out of here. I knew that I was being affected by the mountain much like I had been affected by the Mirkwood, and I worried for myself, but not as much as I did for the dwarves. I closed my eyes and realized that I was shaking.

Kili pulled me close to him and wrapped his arms around me, humming gently in my ear. I was tired; more tired than I had ever been. I remembered then: I was mortal. I had to sleep. A wave of fear crashed over me, and I was suddenly wide-awake. I pulled away from Kili. My panic must have shown on my face, for alarm immediately registered on his.

"What's wrong?"

My tongue felt like wood, and a ringing filled my ears. "I have to sleep—Eru, Kili, I have to sleep—"

He grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to look him in the eye. He looked worried, but his voice was calm. "Aeyera, calm down."

"Kili, I can't, I—"

"Aeyera." He stayed silent until I looked back at him, horrified by the tears that sprang to my eyes. "You're going to be alright. I am going to stay with you. I'll make sure nothing happens. I promise."

I could not stop shaking. What was wrong with me? I was stronger than this, I _had _to be stronger than this. "How can you promise that?" I whispered.

"Because I love you," he murmured. "I will never let anything bad happen to you."

I gave a sort of choked laugh and nodded, forcing back any negative emotions as he pulled me close to him. I pressed my chin into his shoulder as he rested his hands on my back. Everything would be fine. Thoughts began to assault my mind. My people dead in the mountain; my father having me flogged; the sickness surrounding Thorin—I shook my head as Kili pulled me close to him. I would not break. I was engaged to a man whom I loved. I would protect him, and he me, until our final breaths. I would be strong for as long as time allowed. Whether nightmares assaulted me or not, I would be strong. I couldn't let Kili see how weak I really was. If I couldn't protect _myself_, how could I protect _him_?

I took a deep breath and pulled away, releasing the breath slowly. Kili pressed his hand against my cheek, and I smiled shakily at him, wrapping my fingers around his. "I love you too," I murmured. "But I'll be fine. I promise."

"Lass, do you want me to show you your room?" Balin interrupted.

I nodded without turning to him, keeping my eyes locked with Kili's. "Yes, please."

"You'd better hurry, lass," Balin coaxed. "Thorin might come through soon, and we don't need you two having a fight in your states."

Fili let out a bark of laughter. "Aye," he chuckled, blue eyes glinting merrily. "The mountain would implode."

A crooked smile appeared on my face. Kili turned back to me. "Are you sure you'll be alright?" he asked softly.

I nodded. "Yes."

He nodded uncertainly back at me, then bowed and took my hand. He pressed his lips to my knuckles, allowing his dark whiskers to scratch against my skin, then pulled away. "You have my mother's old room," he told me. "Fili and I are in Uncle Frerin's, right down the hall. If you need anything—"

"You'll be there?" I finished.

He nodded. "Of course."

"Thank you."

"Come on, lass."

Balin took my arm and led me away as the princes continued to the dining hall. The roars of delight that followed as they opened the creaky old door brought a smile to my face, and to Balin's too. The elderly dwarf led me up several winding staircases until we reached a corridor that looked considerably more kept up than the rest of the mountain I had seen thus far.

"We've been renovating and cleaning out this section of the mountain," Balin explained. "This was originally the quarters for royalty, but Thorin said we should all stay in one place." The note of anger in his voice led me to ask the question on my mind.

"But…?" I prodded.

He sighed. "He doesn't allow any rest," he bit out irritably. "Not for us. We are to search until the Arkenstone is found."

"And then?"

He stared me in the eye, and the look he gave me frightened me. "Mahal help us," he whispered.

"Balin, you heard Kili. Thorin is not himself. He thinks me a spy and a traitor. I can not stay near him."

"The princess' quarters are right here," Balin ignored my protests and nudged an ornately carved door to his right. "Thorin's are on the floor below, and Fili's and Kili's room is across the hall." He handed me a key. "Like most items of dwarvish make, this key is enchanted. Your door will open for none without the key or your express permission. I suppose one could break it down," he added as an afterthought, "but I doubt that will happen."

I gave the advisor a weary smile. "Thank you, Balin."

He patted my shoulder kindly. "You're very welcome, dear." He turned to go, and I went to push the key into the door. As I pressed my hand against the wood, however, the door opened with a creak, without me having placed the key inside the slot. I froze on the doorstep. A fire burned on the hearth, casting warm light around the room. The corners of the room remained cloaked in shadow. My bag rested on the trunk at the foot of the bed along with my bow and quiver, and lanterns on the wall flickered merrily.

What caught my attention, however, was the hulking, shadowy figure in the corner. I immediately tensed, placing my hand on the pommel of my sword. Only the figure's eyes were visible, and they narrowed.

"Step out of the shadow," I growled, drawing my sword from its sheath and holding it out before me.

"Put down your weapon, elfling," came Thorin's voice. It was so angry and authoritative that I started and dropped my sword in surprise and fear. The sound of clanging metal on stone roused me from my daze, and I stepped back as Thorin stepped into the light. Except… the shadows followed him, billowing around him like a cloak caught in the wind. "I thought I'd find you here."

I took another step back. "It has been too long, Thorin," I addressed him politely, deciding it was best not to anger him.

He laughed softly, running his hand over the back of an ornately carved, wooden chair. His laughter was menacing, and I found that it matched the lilt of my father's laugh. I glanced behind me, praying to the Valar that someone—_anyone_—would appear in the doorway. "Aye, I suppose it has." I didn't move. "I wondered when you would reach the mountain," he commented idly. I did not respond. "I suppose Kili's leg slowed you down?" He continued without waiting for an answer. "And yet you arrived much more quickly than I would have expected for one who seemed so sickly the day we left." He finally turned and stared at me, blue eyes shadowed and angry. "I suppose you wanted to get your hands on your father's jewels as soon as possible, didn't you?" I was too startled to speak; all I could do was shake my head mutely. When I didn't answer, his face hardened in rage. I jumped as he bellowed out, _"Answer me!"_

I shook my head more, beginning to shake. "No, Thorin—"

"I am the king!" He shouted. "You will address me as such, elf!"

My gaze hardened as my fear disappeared. When I spoke, my words were edged with steel. "Do not forget, Thorin Oakenshield, that I am the reason you are alive and well. Do not think for a moment that your title holds any sway over me. I swore to protect you, and you are a friend to me. Those are the only reasons I stand before you now."

He took a menacing step forward, eyes flashing, and I did as well, gritting my teeth. "You insolent—"

I moved forward until I stood only a sword's length away. "Wake up!" I shouted. "Whatever has a hold on you, fight it! You are better than this, Thorin!"

He drew his sword, and I leapt back, landing several paces away. The dwarf stood still, breathing hard, glaring at me with an iron gaze. "Watch your mouth, filth," he spat. "I could run you through right now for betraying me."

"You will not," I retorted, my voice rising. "Do you know why? It is because I have never betrayed you, and you know it! I was flogged for you many times. I faced death for you and your kin. I have given my life to protect your family, Thorin—" Before I could blink, he had crossed the room and pressed the point of his sword against my chest above my heart.

"Not another word," he hissed. He pushed harder, and I backed up, moving away from him until my back was pressed against the wall. I was too afraid, too shocked, to move. I knew what gold sickness was like, but this? I had never imagined this. He pressed harder, and I whimpered, afraid. My sword was on the ground behind him, and any movement for my knives would get me killed. My bow was on my bed; I was defenseless. He stepped forward and placed his hand on one side of my head, keeping the blade pressed against my front. "How I would love to kill you," he hissed. "See what the old elf king does once his daughter's been slaughtered."

"He'd laugh and thank you," I bit out, running my hands over the wall. The stone behind me was flawless; there were no loose pieces I could use to defend myself.

He chuckled darkly. "You're probably right. I saw the light dance in his eyes as he threw you in your cell. He loved hurting you. What if I were to sent you to him?" My fear much have shown, because he threw back his head and laughed. "What an excellent actress you are, elfling. But I know why you are really here: to steal my wealth and return it to your filth of a father."

"That is not true—"

"Silence!" He screamed, looking quite deranged. Spittle flew from his mouth. I shrank back, and he pulled his blade back as if preparing to kill me.

"Uncle!"

"Stop!"

I had never been so glad to see the brothers in my life. Fili and Kili stood in the doorframe, weapons drawn, staring into the dim room with wide eyes. Thorin froze, then stepped away and removed his sword. Still furious, he sheathed his weapon and shoved past me. He left the room, glaring at his nephews as he went.

I slid down the wall and onto the floor, shaking violently. I wrapped my arms around myself protectively, keeping one palm pressed against my chest. The brothers entered my room and shut the door, locking it. Kili ran over and knelt beside me as Fili shut and locked the door.

He pressed his hand against my cheek. "Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

I shook my head, fighting back a scream. I was afraid. I was so, so afraid. He helped me up and half carried me to my bed, setting me down on the edge. Fili came over as well.

"You told me you'd be fine," Kili muttered.

"I know."

"Do you want me to stay?" he asked softly.

I thought about it for a moment. If he stayed, I would feel safe, to a degree; though I doubted I would ever feel truly safe again as long as I was on this side of the world. On the one hand, if Kili stayed, Thorin might find out, assume the worst, and kill me. On the other hand, if he didn't stay, Thorin might come back and kill me still.

"I don't think—"

Fili cut me off. "She doesn't get to make this choice." He addressed me personally. "Princess, we're not leaving you. I'm your brother now, basically, and I'm not leaving you. Kili is your fiancé. Now if you don't feel comfortable with us here, I'm sorry, but I won't allow Thorin to return and hurt you. He's not in his right mind, as you may have noticed. I'll take first watch, Kili can sleep on that couch, and you will sleep in the bed. I will wake him if you experience any nightmares. Alright?"

I nodded, too overcome to say much else. He nodded as well, his features softening. Kili spoke. "We don't want you to be hurt," he told me.

"I know. Thank you."

He smiled slightly. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

In minutes we each were in our own corner. Fili sat before the fire, smoking his pipe; I had no problem with it, as I had lived with the rangers for a century and it had become quite a comforting scent. Kili rested beside his brother, the dark bags under his eyes looking like bruises. I lay under the coverings, staring at the door, waiting for sleep to overtake me. It did not take long. Soon the shadows on the walls faded together, and the crackling of the fire disappeared as the first dream of many rose to the surface and consumed my mind.


	7. Chapter 7

_"The first dream was one I had experienced many times before: my mother's death. Except that this time, as she died, a faded form of her stood at my shoulder, flying alongside me as my bother cradled me in his arms._

_ 'Do not fear, dearest,' she said softly. 'Your time will come.' She looked me in the eyes. 'Thorin needs you. Kili and Fili need you; all the Company needs you. If you give into the darkness, Erebor will fall.'_

_ 'Erebor has already fallen, Mother,' I told her. My voice was small and frail, that of a child. I gripped my brother's shoulders tighter as he urged the horse to fly faster. 'Thorin is taken.'_

_ 'Then find him and bring him back.'_

_ Before I could respond, the dream changed. _

_I stood upon the field of battle before the gates of Erebor. I was fighting for my life with Kili at my right hand and Fili at my left. We surrounded Thorin in a protective triangle of sorts, guarding one another's backs. He was on his knees, breathing heavily. He was covered in blood, just as we all were, and the light in his eyes was fading. 'Thorin, wake up!' I screamed, parrying an orc blade. _

_ Suddenly I was in his head. I saw myself and Fili and Kili fighting to defend Thorin—me? Was I Thorin? I felt the sickness in my mind recede, and I tried to stand as Aeyera faltered, her armor pierced by an orc blade. _

_ Aeyera. I have to defend her. Kili loves her. _

_ Am I not she? What is going on?_

_ Time froze except for Thorin and me. I stood in my own body, facing the dwarf king. His eyes locked on mine. I could feel someone's presence nearby, but I couldn't turn to look at them. Thorin's alarmed blue eyes were bright with confusion and fear._

_ 'How is this possible?' he whispered._

_ 'You're in my head,' I ground out, finally able to distinguish the presence near me. It was Thorin's consciousness in my mind. 'Why?'_

_ He looked around as the scene about us fell away. 'I do not know.'_

_ All around us, walls of stone were forming. I shuddered as my eyes rolled back in my head. My heartbeat slowed as I fell to my knees, and suddenly I was wearing barely anything: just trousers and cloth wrapped tightly around my chest. Time sped up, and I was being dragged forward and forced to my knees. One of my father's soldiers chained my wrists behind my back and to a ring in the floor. _

_ 'Are you ready to serve me?' Thranduil growled._

_ I snarled at him, yanking against the chains fruitlessly. 'Never.'_

_ He nodded at the soldier behind me, and the elf grabbed my hair, yanking my head back as the king strode forward. I gritted my teeth as tears of pain formed in my eyes. I then noticed Thorin standing behind my father, staring at me with horrified eyes. Why was he still here?_

_ 'What is going on?' The king struck me across the face, and Thorin jerked awkwardly, trying and failing to move. My head snapped to one side, and I took a deep breath against the pain that crackled down my spine. 'Aeyera, why can't I move? Where are we?'_

_ The darkness roared in my mind, and I understood. This memory took place before my healing. The darkness was still alive here and it filled the room, delighting in my captivity now that I was trapped inside my own head. It stayed away from Thorin and I, but I could sense its pleasure. He hit me again, and I whimpered, pulling away._

_ 'Betray him,' he hissed, grabbing my jaw in his iron grip and forcing me to look at him. 'Bring my jewels to me.'_

_ 'No,' I gasped, tears running down my face. He threw me back and stood, moving to another part of the room. _

_ 'Hold her down,' he said. The guard pulled me backwards and forced my shoulders against the stone, overpowering me easily. I cried out as I struggled fruitlessly against him. My arms burned, twisting unnaturally beneath me. It was here that I realized that this was not the same memory anymore. The darkness had spun it into something else, something darker, combining it with another memory._

_ Instead of my father returning, it was Azog who reentered my line of sight. An orc held me down and leered down at me with a bloody grin, and the walls changed from the smooth stone of the Greenwood to the rough, black stuff of Dol Guldur. I screamed and thrashed as Azog approached and straddled me, pinning me to the floor. His weight on my hips held me down, and his claws dug into my shoulder. He held me down with one hand; the other held something I could not see. _

_ My heart sped up. I was so, so afraid. Only a few things terrified me more that Agog and my father did. Death, surprisingly, was not one of them. Endurance was one. I could not bear to live forever in this hell. The other was… was being forcibly taken by a man. I feared that would I experience both in the time I was prisoner in Dol Guldur. I recognized this memory as one of the last: fortunately, somehow neither Azog nor the Necromancer though of torturing me in the one true way I feared, and Eru and the Valar are responsible for this blessing. _

_ Azog leered down at me and titled the object he carried: a stone cup. Its contents glowed, and he poured the molten metal over my chest and stomach. The screams that tore from my mouth were so horrible and guttural that they in themselves have given me nightmares in the time since. They continued on, echoing through the dungeons there for long after the first scream gave way to anguished sobs and shrieks. _

_ 'NO!'_

_ A moment later the Defiler's head was severed from his body as Thorin found the strength to move. The dead fell to one side as the body slumped off me. Thorin heaved the rest of it off. As the orc's body fell to the side, however, I found that I could not make myself move. I was in too much agony. Thorin knelt beside me. _

_ 'Aeyera, what was that?' He asked, confused and afraid. The true Thorin stood before me now, cradling my broken, blistered body. 'I'm sorry, I couldn't move, I tried to—'_

_ 'Thorin, it is alright—' my lungs felt as though they were on fire. 'It is a dream, we will wake up soon—'_

_ 'A dream?' he echoed. 'What kind of nightmares—'_

_ 'Not nightmares. Memories.'_

_ His once proud face fell, and I saw the king whom I had sworn to protect. 'Memories?' he echoed in a whisper. He glanced around, devastated. 'This… this was real?'_

_ 'Yes, this and much more. I have endured much for the sake of your people, Thorin. Never think for a moment that I would betray you.'_

_ The pain faded, and the cooled metal disappeared. The bloody, blistered burns faded into scars. I sat up as the stone faded. The shackled binding my hands disappeared._

_ 'How am I here?' Thorin asked. 'Am I in your head?'_

_ 'Yes. I do not know how, but yes. Do not forget my memories, Thorin.'_

_ 'Dark have been my dreams of late,' he whispered. 'A shadow has surrounded my mind.'_

_ 'I noticed.'_

_ A sudden realization struck him, and his head jerked up as he stared at me, suddenly afraid. 'I tried to kill you,' he murmured, horror struck. _

_ 'Yes,' I answered softly._

_ 'What will happen when I wake?' he asked, looking like a frightened child. I realized that I was seeing his innermost heart, his innermost fear, and my heart broke for him. 'Will… will I be free?'_

_ 'I do not know.'_

_ 'Will I remember this when I wake?' he asked._

_ 'I do not know,' I answered, earnest._

_ 'When you wake up, you must leave,' he commanded me suddenly, eyes widening. 'Take my nephews and go.'_

_ 'Thorin—'_

_ 'I am not myself,' he barked, sounding very much like himself in that moment. 'If I hurt any of you, I could not live with myself.'_

_ 'And I could not live with myself if I were to allow you to die or to suffer like this!' My words hung in the air between us. 'I swore to protect you, Thorin. I will not leave you to die or be claimed by the darkness.'_

_ 'I am already dead. I am already taken."_

_ 'No.'_

_ 'Go while you still can!' His voice took on a pleading tone, and I felt as though someone had thrown me into the Long Lake. I was shocked. Thorin was begging. He truly was trying to protect me. His eyes glistened with unshed tears, and my resolve nearly broke as one dripped down his cheek. 'Please.'_

_ 'If you try to hurt any of the company, I will take them to safety,' I told him, making up my mind. 'Then I will return for you.'_

_ He shook his head, eyes filled with pain. 'Aeyera—'_

_ 'Trust me,' I whispered. 'I will save you. I promise.'_

_ He gave me a slight smile even as the dream began to fade. 'My dear princess, do not make a promise you are unable to keep.'"_

I gasped and shot up in bed, shaking and covered in sweat. A glance around the room revealed that Fili remained in his spot before the hearth and that Kili was asleep on the couch, his face covered by his hair. His courtship braid held a part of his hair back, and the sight of it soothed my mind, if only a little bit. Soft light filtered through a window in the corner.

Fili lifted his head and watched me with his calculating blue eyes. "Are you alright?"

I shook my head quickly, pushing back the covers. The bed was suddenly too hot. "Thorin, he—he was in my mind, he—"

Fili grunted as he pulled himself to his feet and woke Kili with a touch. The brothers joined me on the edge of the bed. "Start over," Kili commanded gently, taking my hand. His thumb rubbed designs over my skin. The dark circles beneath his eyes did not escape my notice; neither did the haunted look his brown eyes bore bore. "Please."  
I nodded shakily and gripped his hand back. "I was fighting before the gates of Erebor with both of you by my side. We… we fought to protect Thorin; he was injured on the ground. Suddenly, time stopped for all but Thorin and I, and I—I was in his mind. I felt his thoughts."

"But you said—"

I shook my head quickly. "Let me finish. Just as soon, he was in mine. I could feel his presence in my head. A moment later the setting changed. We were in Thranduil's dungeons, and he—" I closed my eyes. "He was torturing me. After he got in a few hits, the dream changed to Dol Guldur, and Azog… Azog was torturing me. Thorin was unable to move until this point, but then he found the strength to resist the darkness. Thorin beheaded the dream version of Azog, and I was able to speak with him as soon as the wounds faded. He is still in there, fighting."

"What are you talking about? He is still in your head?" The brothers' gaze flickered to my hairline.

I groaned in frustration. "No! Thorin, Thorin Oakenshield, is fighting against the darkness within him. Somehow he was able to enter my mind, and I was able to speak to him, to show him my memories—"

"Aeyera, you were dreaming," Fili tried.

"No! It was real, I know it!"

"So if we went to Thorin, he would remember?" Fili asked. Kili stared at a small tear in the otherwise immaculate bedspread, a frown upon his face.

"I do not know." The elder sighed. "I am telling the truth, Fili!" I shouted, fisting the bedspread in my hands to keep from hitting the prince.

He glanced up at me, face expressionless. "I know, Aeyera. But it's hard to believe after what we saw and heard from him yesterday and last night."

I turned away, angry. He had a point, but I knew what had happened. I _knew _that Thorin was fighting, and that he had been in my head. I just had to find out _how…_ As I resolved this, I noticed a set of doors in the corner I had not seen before. "Where do those lead?" I asked, suddenly distracted by a faint drumming noise from beyond the walls of my room.

"The balcony," Kili answered, looking relieved that I had calmed down. Without replying, I leapt off the bed and sped over to them. The stone was cold against my bare feet, but I did not care. I needed to be outside. I gripped the handles and pulled the doors open wide, gasping at the cold breeze that whipped my hair away from my face. For a brief moment the sun that rose ahead and to the left blinded me, but as I blinked, my eyes adjusted. I staggered forward and gripped the railing with shaking hands, unable to believe my eyes.

"Kili!"

My betrothed rushed outside, his brother on his heels. "What's wrong? What is it?"

"Oh, no," Fili whispered.

The people of Laketown could be seen streaming in from the South towards the city of Dale. The sound of their marching had awoken me despite how far away they were. They would reach Dale by nightfall, that was certain, and Thorin would hear about it by tomorrow morning. What alarmed me, however, was the knowledge that with the men would also come the elves, Thranduil at their head.

"If they attack, we cannot hold."

"They are peasants and farmers," Kili countered. So he did not know. He had not yet guessed what I already knew, that the Elvenking was coming for his jewels, and for my life.

"They are desperate," I shot back. "Desperation makes people dangerous, Kili. You should know this by now." He looked away.

"What do we do?" Fili asked, glaring down at the valley.

"We cannot tell Thorin. He will make it worse."

"I don't see how." I turned to the brothers questioningly, and they glanced at each other wearily before Kili answered. "Thorin has sent a raven to Dain asking for an army to defend Erebor against invaders."

"An army?" I whispered.

Fili did not meet my gaze, and Kili answered, looking regretful. "Aye."

"But there are women and children amongst the people of Laketown," I fought, horror bubbling up within me. "Surely Thorin would not kill children?"

The princes stared at me wordlessly, and I realized how little they could do. They didn't know what to do, for one. For another, even if they did, it would be suicide to fight against Thorin in this state. I glanced between them for a moment before my resolve hardened, and I stormed back inside.

"Where are you going?" Fili called after me, following me into my room.

I threw on a vest and boots over my tunic and trousers, scowling. I tossed him a knife and strapped my weapons on, shoving my armor into a knapsack as I did so. "You promised me a spar, Prince," I replied curtly, slinging the bag over my shoulders. "Let's go."

"What, now?" Fili asked, shocked at my sudden change in behavior. "Do you know what Thorin will do if he finds us?"

"You are a grown dwarf, Fili," I snapped angrily, standing up straight and looking him in the eye. "Stop worrying about what your uncle thinks of you and make your own decisions for once. Understand?"

He looked shocked for a moment, then a grin spread across his face. He tossed my knife back, and I caught it by the hilt. A smile grew on my lips as he pulled out his own dagger, and Kili laughed softly as he removed his sword. "My lady," Fili bowed. "I do believe you are quite ready to be a princess. Kída is sure to get along with you." He nodded at his brother. "Excellent job, little brother." He turned and headed for the door, leading Kili and I behind him.

Kili took my hand as he sheathed his sword. "Are you alright?"

I nodded, and then shook my head. "Yes? No… I don't know. I will be, I think."

"You do know that whatever happens, I am going to keep you safe," he whispered. "No matter what."

"Kili…" I was at a loss for words.

"And don't say that I need to protect my family first," he added as we rounded a corner. "You're a part of my family now."

I smiled softly at him as we descended down a crumbing staircase and allowed him to lean on me to avoid putting pressure on his injured leg. "I suppose I am."

"We're almost there," Fili breathed. He ran his fingers over the stone until they slipped into a deep crack. I glanced at Kili as a click sounded, and a section of the wall swung open silently. The brothers grinned at each other and slipped inside, pulling me along with them, then shut the door.

"Where are we?" I asked, unable to keep my voice from rising in pitch. I had never been fond of tight spaces, least of all tight spaces in the heart of a cursed mountain.

"A tunnel our mother told us about," Kili answered from beside me. His fingers remained intertwined with mine, which was a relief. "It leads directly to the armory and training grounds. There are underground training arenas here, apparently." He sounded thrilled about it. I could see absolutely nothing, and I was not pleased to be down here at all.

We walked in silence for a few minutes. The only sounds were the scuffling of boots against stone and our own breathing. I broke the silence. "Do you think there will be a war?" I asked, trying to keep my thoughts off the stone that pressed down on us from all sides.

Fili stopped so quickly that I ran into him and fell back into Kili, who caught me. "What makes you say that?" Fili asked, sounding amazed that I had suggested such an absurd notion.

"The people of Laketown are about to arrive in Dale," I said, pushing Fili forward to keep him moving. We continued on as I spoke. "The elves surely are not far behind. Azog still hunts us, and it is only a matter of time before he arrives at the mountain."

"I understand your concern with the elves," Fili answered, sounding exasperated. "But the men? They do not know what they are doing. The orcs do not have an army."

"That you know of."

I thought that maybe he nodded his head, resigned. That, at least, was what he normally did when I was infuriating. "That I know of, or maybe not at all. I agree we should be cautious, but we should not spread word of war when there is nothing to fear."

"That was not what she was suggesting," Kili interrupted. "I do not know," he replied to me. "But you do, don't you? It's why you want to train."

"I have my suspicions. Thranduil will not want to release his hold on his gems so quickly, nor his hold on me." I shuddered, and then took a deep breath. "The people of Laketown hold you responsible for the destruction of their home and want the money to begin again. As long as they are appeased and Thorin keeps his word, there is little to fear from them. However, Azog will not rest until Thorin and I are dead. If he finds out of your relation to Thorin or to me, you both will die as well." I thought for a moment. "If you are not careful, you will die anyway. Evil will do whatever possible to snuff out the light."

Fili held out a hand to stop me and I bumped into him. "That may be true," he answered, his gravelly voice echoing through the caves. "But even the darkest night passes quickly once the sun appears." The bright outline of a door appeared before us, and I caught the shine of light in the brothers' eyes as Fili opened the door.

It was not as bright there as the outline had initially led me to believe, being underground, but there were tunnels that filtered light down to the lower levels. There also were torches that lined the walls, although none were lit. The brothers quickly fixed this, and soon Fili and I circled one another in the center of the room, both armed for battle. Kili stood, arms crossed, outside the circle that we had drawn in the sand.

It had been decided that he would spar with the winner, and Fili and I had our favorite weapons in our hands. Fili had his twin swords while I had my long knives. We had decided since our first spar that it was unlikely that one would ever be evenly matched on the battlefield. Because of this, we each held the weapons we were most learned in and comfortable with.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Princess?" Fili taunted, eyes glinting. "You can still back out."

"Hold your tongue, Prince," I snapped, eyeing him closely. "Before I cut it off," I muttered.

Kili chuckled as Fili frowned. In that moment I saw my chance, and I took it. I lunged forward, ducking under his guard, and sliced at his thighs, only to leap away again a moment later. That was the problem with short-range weapons; you had to be quick, agile, and most important, lucky. He scowled at me and brandished one of his swords. His eyes darted to my feet, and as I glanced down, he sprang forward with a yell, intending to hack away at my midsection. I snarled at him as I flitted away, choosing to stay a good three sword lengths or so away from him.

Kili called from the sidelines, "Stop dancing and fight!"

"Be patient!" I called back. "You'll have your turn."

"With you or with him?"

As I glanced over at him, I caught sight of Thorin in the corner, glowering at the three of us. I froze, my guard failing. A moment later, Kili's panicked yell filled the chamber, and the next thing I knew, I was on the ground on my back, gasping for breath, staring at the ceiling. Kili knelt beside me.

"Are you alright?"

"What happened?" I asked, shaking my head. For some reason, two Kilis floated above me, vying for my attention.

"Fee won."

"He did _not_, I was distracted!"

"Kili—"

"What do you think you are _doing_?" Thorin hissed, stalking over to where the three of us were huddled together.  
"Training," Fili answered coolly, positioning himself above Kili and I.

"With an elf!?" Thorin roared. The crown upon his brow teetered, and for a moment I wished it would fall.

"Thorin Oakenshield," I called, struggling to roll over and climb to my feet. With Kili's help, I made it, and I looked the king in the eye. "How did you sleep last night?"

He blinked, and for the briefest of moments, confusion and recognition flashed across his face before being replaced by indifference. "Well enough."

"What do you remember?"

"What are you talking about?" He asked. He sounded afraid, and the darkness around him faded for a microsecond.

"Azog. Thranduil. Erebor. Mirkwood. Dol Guldur. You have seen my mind. Wake up!" My voice lifted higher and higher until it was a yell.

Thorin let out a bellow and swung his sword wildly. In a flash I lifted my arm above my head and caught the edge of the blade upon my knife. "Be silent, elf!" He howled, eyes wild.

"Uncle—"

"And you!" he pointed a shaking finger at his nephews. "Why have you allied yourselves with her? Can't you see—" his voice broke, and tears filled his eyes. "See what she's trying to do—She will bring about the downfall of Erebor!" He turned and stalked out of the room, robes billowing around him. "You will see!"

We stood frozen for nearly a minute, unsure of what to say. Finally it was Fili who broke the silence. "Kili's up next."

I blinked and turned back to him, indignant. "I did not lose!"

"Yes, you did. I beat you, now it's his turn."

"Thorin distracted me!"

"No excuses, Princess," Fili countered. He seemed to be enjoying himself immensely. He pointed his sword at the area beyond the circle. "Now sit."

I sighed and turned away, then grinned. The circle. He hadn't gotten me outside the circle; that was the deal. Either he got me out of the circle or I surrendered. Neither had happened.

With a yell, I swung around, and Fili barely caught my knives on his sword. He backed up. "You haven't gotten me out of the circle, Prince," I told him, panting. "And I don't plan on surrendering."

He grinned and lunged forward, batting one knife away. The two of us continued exchanging blows for a long time, but eventually I drove him outside the circle, winning the match.

Kili stepped forward now, a fresh young warrior ready for battle. After a moment of circling, we began. We exchanged blows and taunts, dancing around one another as our blades rang against one another. Unlike his brother, Kili had only one sword, but he still was an expert swordsman.

Sweat poured down my face, soaking my hair and armor and burning my eyes. My hands and arms shook, but still we fought. My arms grew numb with every stroke I gave. Finally I saw an opening in his defense of his right side. I lunged forward, but as I did I tripped in an indent in the sand and fell, releasing my hold on one of my knives as I threw out my hand to catch myself.

As I fell I saw the prince reach down and snatch up my knife. I rolled and came up on my knees in front of him. One knife remained in my hand, but it was useless. I had lost. Kili held his sword to my throat, my knife behind my neck. "Do you surrender?" he asked softly.

I stared up at him wordlessly, shaking. I could barely breathe, I was so angry and sad and ashamed. Kili sighed at my silence, but did not lower the weapons. He was testing me, I knew it: testing my pride. After a moment, I nodded, breaking. "Yes," I breathed. "I-I surrender." I looked away and put away the blade I still held in my clenched fist.

Kili sheathed his sword and dropped my other knife as he knelt down to face me, and Fili turned away to give us privacy. Kili touched my cheek lightly, and I looked up at him, silent. "It is not dishonorable to lose a fight, Aeyera," he admonished softly.

I reached up and grasped his hand tightly, weaving my fingers around his. "I know, but—" I took a shuddering breath. "If I cannot beat you in battle, how am I supposed to protect you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I swore to protect you, Kili. You and Fili and Thorin. Now you are my betrothed, and I—I have to keep you safe!"

Kili stared at me with wide eyes. He looked affronted, as if I had offended his honor. "Aeyera, it is my job to keep _you_ safe, not the other way around. You have suffered more that I can ever expect to understand. You don't need to protect me, not anymore. Let me protect you. My darling," he murmured, pressing his forehead to mine. "You don't have to be afraid. I am going to look after you, and we both are going to be fine. I am going to keep you safe always. Do you understand?"

I nodded, and a tear slipped down my face. "I do." I kissed him lightly as more tears ran down my cheeks. "I love you," I whispered.

He kissed my cheek, taking the tears away. "I love you, Aeyera." He kissed my forehead. I wrapped my arms around him, letting him fold his body around me as I snuggled into his chest. He kissed my hair. "More than life."


	8. Chapter 8

After the spar, the three of us returned to our rooms. Kili stayed with me that night and laid beside me in bed on top of the covers until I fell asleep. We spent our time talking, discussing the future and what it held for us. We knew that we would be married, but the discussion then led to the topic of a family. Children. The topic I most wanted to avoid.

"Aeyera, your Morgul wound," Kili began. He was stretched out next to me on the bed, his arms tucked under his head. He had washed up and changed into fresh clothes before visiting me, so until now I had had no desire for him to leave the bed. My opinion was changing, however, and I was beginning to wonder if I would have to push him off to avoid the conversation. "I could not help but notice where it was placed."

How much force would it require for me to push him off in one shove? "Yes?" If we reached the topic of children, I was in deep trouble. Although I had never lied to Kili about my inability to bear a child, I had never told him either. The truth was, I did not know. I did not know if I could bear children or not. Before I was healed of my Morgul wound, I knew I could not, but now I was hopeful that I could. I could not tell.

"You… you can't carry or bear children, can you?" I looked up at Kili as tears stung my eyes, unable to answer. He nodded at my silence and pulled me close to him as I released a broken sob, shaking and burying my face in his shoulder. "It is alright, Aeyera," he whispered, wrapping his arms around me tightly. "You don't have to be strong here. Let it go."

"I'm s-so sorry," I cried. "I didn't know how to tell you, and I was never sure if I could bear them or not—"

He ran his fingers through my hair, whispering in my ear. "It's alright, my darling. It's alright. I love you, Aeyera, it's alright."

After a while my sobs ceased and the two of us laid in silence, holding one another. "I love you, Kili," I whispered into his chest.

He hummed and rubbed my back, making goosebumps appear on my skin wherever his fingertips touched. "I love you," he murmured. "Whether we can have children or not, I love you, and I always will. I promise."

And somehow, in my heart of hearts, despite all the promises I had made and been given, this one stuck with me, and I knew it to be utterly and completely true. We fell asleep that night in each other's arms, and for the first time, I had no dreams, for I was safe in my beloved's arms.

It was the next afternoon when everything began to go wrong. I was with Balin and Dwalin, helping them catalogue the treasure, when Thorin called the three of us into the throne room. I stayed close to the two warriors, not wanting to draw any more attention to myself than was necessary. Thorin alternated from stalking around his throne to sitting uneasily upon it, blue eyes shifting round the room and landing upon me frequently. Darkness clung to him and madness radiated off him. It frightened me to be in the same room as he. I couldn't help but wonder if he knew about Kili and I, and I shook the thought off, too afraid to consider it. Bilbo stood at the edge of the platform that held the throne, silent as a shadow. His lips were pursed together, and he stared straight ahead. He seemed frightened, and I didn't blame him: particularly if he possessed the secret I thought he did.

Thorin took a deep breath as we settled in around him. I stood shoulder to shoulder beside Dwalin and Balin, the two of them standing protectively close me.

"What does he want?" I whispered, keeping my hands folded in front of me to avoid suspicion, to show Thorin I had no weapons concealed behind my back. A sudden pain in my lower abdomen made me double over with a gasp, gripping my middle.

"He has not yet found the King's Jewel," Dwalin murmured back, folding his burly arms across his chest. He eyes me apprehensively. "Are you alright?" I nodded in confirmation. My thoughts and eyes immediately flitted to Bilbo, and I prayed that the hobbit did not have the stone as I suspected. I prayed that I was wrong, that Bilbo held some other forbidden trinket, anything but the Arkenstone.

Thorin began to speak as if to himself, his words a low hiss. He faced his ruined throne, gazing at the gash in the stone made by a dragon's claw where the Arkenstone had once resided. I wondered if this was a continued conversation or if it was the first time these words had been spoken aloud. "It is here in these halls, I know it."

Dwalin glanced at me helplessly before turning his eyes to the king. "We have searched and searched," he began.

"Not well enough," Thorin barked, cutting him off. The king was hunched over his throne, gripping the armrests tightly. His head was bowed, and his voice carried a raspy growl at their edge.

Dwalin glanced between his brother and I before once again looking to Thorin, trying his utmost to speak reason into him. "Thorin, we all would see the stone returned."

"And yet it's still not found!" The word 'found' echoed round and round the chamber.

Balin looked his brother and I in the eye, and he gestured to the two of us and Bilbo. "Do you doubt the loyalty of anyone here?" He looked then to Thorin as the king turned to face us. I wished he hadn't turned around. This possessed Thorin was very close to joining my father and Azog in the ranks of the beings in Middle Earth whom I feared most. He strode forward until he stood upon the edge of the platform looking down the stairs at us. "The Arkenstone is the birthright of our people," Balin finished softly. Another bolt of pain hit me, and I dug my fingers into my skin, massaging the area as discretely as I dared. I felt weak and nauseous suddenly, and I touched Balin's sleeve as I swayed.

Thorin ground his teeth together, rage showing in every line upon his face even though his voice was filled with deadly calm. He annunciated every word slowly and clearly. "It is the King's jewel." His voice rose to a shout as he lost any semblance of control he had previously held, and I flinched back. "Am I not the King?!" Bilbo stared at him, a bead of sweat running down his forehead. The grieved looks of the dwarf brothers' faces nearly broke my heart. "Know this," Thorin growled, turning his head and staring me in the eye. "If anyone should find it, and withhold it from me, I will be _avenged_."

He turned and faced the wall. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, calming my frazzled nerves, and then followed Balin and Dwalin out of the room to continue my work. I moved slowly, doing my best not to disturb whatever it was that pained me so.

We had worked that day by torchlight and lamplight, and it was there in the library, after sending me away to fetch some scroll or another, that Balin broke. He sat at his worktable, one hand resting upon the top and the other covering his mouth as he pressed his eyes shut. His shoulders shook. I recognized the look of despair in his face, and my heart broke for him. It was hard to forget sometimes that these Dwarves loved Thorin no matter his faults, and that others besides me were affected by his actions. He removed his hand from his mouth and took deep breaths as tears began to drip down his face.

"Balin?"

He opened his eyes and swiped a hand across them, wiping away the tears. "Ah, Aeyera, my dear, I did not hear you come in."

"I am sorry about Thorin," I told him softly, running my ringers over my slightly bloated abdomen. "Truly I am."

He took another shuddering breath and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pressed my cheek to his forehead, feeling his pain as sharply as if it were my own. I looked up to see Bilbo standing in the doorway, watching the pair of us with bright eyes. "I-I'm sorry to interrupt," he said quickly. "But I was wondering if I might have a word?"

I nodded and stood, leaving my hand on Balin's shoulder, and Bilbo approached, ringing his hands together. "What's wrong with him?" he asked, glancing at me but directing his question to Balin, having already heard my thoughts on the matter. "Thorin," he clarified, although there was no real need to do so. "What's wrong with Thorin?"

After a few moments of steeling himself, it was Balin who answered. "Dragon sickness," Balin told him, taking a shuddering breath. "I've seen it before. That look," his face contorted with sorrow as he struggled to force down the despair he felt. He clenched his fist as I looked on, horror and grief weighing heavily upon my heart, "the terrible need. It is a fierce and jealous love, Bilbo. It sent his grandfather mad."

Bilbo stepped forward, watching the pair of us with wary, yet hopeful, eyes. "Balin, if-if Thorin had the Arkenstone," he began. He stopped and glanced at me, thought for a moment, and then continued. Balin stared at Bilbo with an expression I could not quite name, though if I had to guess it would be a mix of astonishment, recognition, and fear. I had a gut feeling that he knew, or guessed, like I had, that Bilbo had the stone. "Well, if it—if it was found… would it help?"

Balin glanced at me, then at Bilbo, and released a trembling breath. "That stone crowns all," he explained, gesturing around the room. "It is the summit of this great wealth, bestowing power upon he who bears it. Would it stay his madness? No, laddie," his voice broke as dread seeped into my bones, confirming the fears I had already had. "I fear it would make it worse. Perhaps it is best it remains lost."

Throughout this conversation, Bilbo's face had gone ashen, and now he stared at Balin with wide eyes and a horrified expression. His fingers twitched towards his pocket.

"Balin, might I have a moment to speak with Bilbo?" I asked him suddenly. "I will return soon."

He shook his head and pushed me gently towards the door. "Go, Princess. You don't need to come back. Go speak to the Princes once you are done; tell them of what you heard."

I nodded mutely and swept Bilbo before me out of the room.

"You were right," he said, staring straight ahead. He sniffed and swiped his knuckles across his nose, looking as though he had aged ten years in a matter of moments. "You were right about everything, I should have listened." I stood in silence, and he looked up at me, eyes wide.

I recognized the resolve in them, and leapt forward, barring the path. "No, Bilbo, no—"

"I have to do something," he pressed, ducking under my outstretched arm.

"Wait, Bilbo," I told him, taking hold of his sleeve and holding him in place. "The survivors from Laketown, they are heading for Dale. I had thought they might reach it by nightfall, but because of the cold, they were hindered. They will rest for the night, but by tomorrow evening they will reach the city. Do you understand, Bilbo? Once he hears of this, he will forget about the Arkenstone, if only for a moment. If you know where it is, you can get rid of it then. Do you understand me?"

He stared at me with wide eyes. "There were survivors?" he asked.

I nodded, exasperated. "Yes, of course. But do you understand me, Bilbo? You must wait for the opportune moment."

He nodded. "Yes, I understand."

"Good." He turned and strode down the corridor. "And Bilbo?" He turned and looked me in the eye. It hit me how much he had changed, from the stiff, worried hobbit I had met in Bag End to the weathered, brave one who stood before me. "Be careful," I said, at a loss for words. He nodded and gave me a tightlipped smile, then disappeared around the next corner.

I sighed. I really hoped he would be careful. I glanced down the hall in both directions; no one was coming. A moment later I was sprinting up the corridors towards the princes' room as far as my feet could carry me, a grin across my face. I loved to run. Unfortunately, there were few chances of it indoors, but I loved it all the same. Except for the stairs. I was not a fan of the stairs.

Every now and again I would slip on some discarded piece of jewelry or coins or rubble, and my hands and knees stung from scraping the ground so often. The stairs and corridors were vast and numerous, and though many were lit by torches or windows, some were as dark as pitch. These, unfortunately, were the ones with jewelry in them. Beads especially did their utmost to prevent me from reaching my room, making me slip back down the hall or staircase more than once. That reminded me, I needed to make Kili a courting bead. Many times as I ran, the sudden aching, cramping pain would hit me and I would stumble or trip. I had no idea of what was causing this, and I was worried.

Eventually, despite the mountain's and my body's attempts to stop me, I reached the top of the staircase leading to my and the princes' rooms. I bent over, breathing only a bit heavier than normal, and grinned. One of the perks of being an elf was that I rarely became tired from running. Unfortunately, it seemed that my decision to forgo my immortality had somewhat drained me of stamina as well, since normally I could run leagues without pausing to catch my breath.

"Kili? Fili? I need to speak with you." I knocked on their door loudly, then stepped back and waited for them to open it. At that moment, I felt a curious sensation as liquid began to make its way down my leggings. "Wait, no, forget it!"

I darted into my room and slammed and locked the door. My breath came out in quick, short pants as I stripped, throwing my clothing to the floor. I fell over in shock on the cold stone before the fireplace and covered my mouth with my hand, choking on sobs. Blood streaked my thighs. There was only one explanation for why my time had started so suddenly: I had been healed. I could bear children.

I quickly cleaned up and fixed cloth to prevent blood from going everywhere, then put on a clean set of clothing. Tears ran down my face the entire time. My hands shook so badly I could barely hold onto the soiled cloth as I washed it, cleaning off the blood.

Someone knocked on my door. "Aeyera? Are you alright?" Kili.

I laid the dripping clothing before the fire, then made my way to the door as quickly as possible, made difficult because of the cloth. My movement was more waddle than walk, if I am being completely honest. I doubted that, with the exception of being tortured, I had ever been so uncomfortable.

I threw open the door. Kili and Fili stood there, looking concerned. Kili's expression grew alarmed when he took in my tear-streaked face. He placed his hands on my upper arms, looking me over for some sort of wound. "Aeyera, are you alright? Are you hurt?"

I let out a sound that was half laugh, half sob, and wrapped my arms around his neck tightly. His arms automatically went around my waist, although he still was confused. "I do not understand, are you alright?"

"Yes, yes, Kili—" I pulled back and smiled through the tears. "Kili I can have children. The Valar healed me, Kili—we can have a family!"

If someone were asked to paint a picture of perfect joy and wonder, it would look exactly like Kili's face in that moment. He stared at me for a split second, a smile turning up the corners of his mouth, and then he wept. He pulled me close to him and pressed his face to the crook of my neck as mine pressed into his. I could feel his tears wetting my neck. Tears of joy poured down both our faces and even Fili's eyes sparkled with tears, a few escaping to drip down his cheeks.

"We can have a family," Kili whispered, his breath hot on my neck. "Oh Mahal, thank you—"

I smiled and choked on another sob, then laughed as Kili spun me around, a bright smile on his face as he set me gently on my feet and kissed me full on the mouth. "I love you," he told me, pulling back and staring me in the eye. His dark eyes shone with adoration and love, and I smiled back and kissed him again.

"I love you," I murmured, resting my forehead on his shoulder. I felt exhausted, and my middle—my womb, I supposed—ached.

"Was this what you wanted to tell us?" Fili asked, grinning at me. "You came and banged on the door and then left. Was this it?"

I remembered Thorin's proclamation, and my smile slipped a bit from my face. "No. Come inside, I will tell you there."

I led the brothers inside, and the three of us sat on the bed. Kili and I rested in each other's arms while Fili sat alone a few feet away, fingering his betrothal braid. I look a deep breath and rested my palm against my abdomen. "I worked with Balin today in the library, cataloging the treasure. Thorin called us and Dwalin into the throne room, and Bilbo was already there…"

I proceeded to tell them the whole story, with the exception of my somewhat-knowledge of Bilbo's possession of the Arkenstone. "So he thinks one of us has it then," Kili muttered, frowning at the bedcoverings.

"I believe so. Kili, I don't know what to do."

"You do not need to do anything, Princess," Fili interrupted sternly. "You are already on Thorin's bad side, we do not need you getting ejected from the mountain, especially not now."

"But—"

Kili took my hand. "Trust us," he murmured, kissing my forehead. "Everything will be alright. We will make him see sense, do not worry."

"It is not you who worry me," I whispered softly. I nuzzled my forehead to Kili's shoulder as my eyes drooped shut. My body relaxed, although I continued to ache for a long time. The brothers did not move but rested there until I fell asleep; perhaps longer, guarding me from the night. I fell asleep in my fiancé's arms and slept dreamlessly, but shadows stirred at the edge of my mind, warning me of the days to come.


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning, the first thing I heard when I woke was the faint, muffled sound of hundreds of voices. My eyes snapped open and I sat bolt upright, one hand pressed to my middle. As much pain as I was in right then, I would have gladly experienced it for a month on end since it came with the knowledge that one day, I could have a family. I doubled over with a groan as another burst of pain hit my stomach. Then again, a week was fine.

With one arm round my middle, I slung my legs over the side of the bed and stood, swaying slightly. Once I caught my balance, I made my over to the doors leading to the balcony, shivering. The cold stone sent tremors up my spine, and I curled my toes against the stone, wrapping my free arm around my chest.

I glanced at the fireplace. Someone had left my cloak before the fire. Shivering, I picked it up and wrapped it round my shoulders, sighing as the heat seeped through my tunic and into my skin. I then crossed to the balcony doors and gripped the door handles, nervous about what I was about to see. I released a breath and then pulled them apart to reveal the rising sun by whose light I could see the men and women of Laketown scurrying around and packing up their things to make it to Dale before dark. Sunlight flooded my room.

I sighed. Thorin would hear of this soon, I was sure of it; and when he did, he would find some way of barricading us inside the mountain or driving the men from the city. I knew that an army of dwarves was coming, and that when riled they moved incredibly quickly; they would either drive the men out or slaughter them. The Company, Eru help them, had sworn fealty to the king, loyalty that wound not be so easily broken, not even for my sake. Kili and Fili were the two that I knew loved me the most, but also the two I knew could not support me if I tried to defend the people of Laketown—Dale, now, I suppose.

I was alone.

I sighed and gripped the railing tightly, only ceasing when my fingers lost their feeling. There was only one thing I could do, though it chilled my heart to consider it. I turned and swept back into the room, only stopping when I reached the desk that sat in the corner. I opened a drawer and pulled out a piece of thick, yellowed parchment along with a quill and a dusty bottle of ink. A moment later I was seated with the quill poised over the paper, and I froze. What I was about to do would be considered treason against both Mirkwood and Erebor. I shook my head and closed my eyes. There was no other way.

Taking a deep breath, I began to write out a letter in Quenya, one of the eldest kinds of Elvish. The runes started out shaky, but soon became bold and dark as my thoughts gathered together and formulated a thought; a crazy thought, but a thought all the same. A thought that just might save the lives of those whom I loved most.

I dropped the quill, spotting the parchment. I was finished. I stared at the letter and took a deep breath as I smoothed it out and blew on the ink to dry it more quickly. Doubts swirled in my mind. What if he didn't receive the letter in time? What if he outright refused to come? I shook my head. No. I couldn't think that way; I had to hope that all went according to plan.

I rose and went to the vanity. My reflection stared at me from the other side of the tarnished mirror that hung over it. A young she-elf stared back at me. No longer did I appear to be an underage girl; I finally looked my age. My face had thinned and matured, and my cheekbones and chin were much more defined. I looked to have aged a decade since last I had seen my reflection. My hair hung halfway down my back, much of it tangled. My eyes were what startled me the most. They were rimmed with red, and they carried a great weight. I recognized the look in them: lord Elrond often bore it, but he was over three thousand years my elder. I tried to think of a suitable description… They looked haunted. Tired.

I was tired. Even after finding the one I loved, I was tired.

I sighed and turned away from the mirror. I could do nothing about my eyes, but I could at least do something about my hair. The water-filled bowl on the vanity would serve well as a tub, I supposed, at least for my head. I took a breath and submerged my head completely, digging my fingers into my hair and making sure every bit was cleaned. I lifted my head and gasped, then lowered it again, this time rubbing soap into my dark tresses and brushing through it with my fingers. I was careful to avoid my courtship braid, and when I finished, the braid was untouched, albeit soaked. Water dripped from my hair to the floor, making slick the stones and drenching my clothing. Shivering, I quickly dressed and changed cloths, placing the soiled one into the soapy dish of water to clean. I rang the water from my hair as much as possible, letting the excess fill the bowl.

I glanced back at the letter and my heart began to beat faster, drumming warningly against my chest. _You can't go back_, it seemed to say. _Once you do this, you can't take it back_. I swallowed, my throat suddenly very dry. I crossed over to the desk and with shaking hands picked up the letter and the piece of leather with which I normally would bind my hair. I moved to stand outside on the balcony, twisting my brother's ring upon my finger. A thrush had perched upon the railing and watched me with large, intelligent eyes.

I bowed my head to it. In the time of Thror, I had heard stories of thrushes and ravens who served the King Under the Mountain and could speak; perhaps this was one of them. "My name is Aeyera, Exile of the Greenwood. The Company of Thorin Oakenshield is in danger. Will you help me?" The thrush hopped closer, and I recognized it. I had seen it the night of Smaug's attack; it had been flying quickly towards Bard when his son had rushed to his aid. I had thought nothing of it at the time, but now I wondered at its actions. "I know you," I told it softly.

It tilted its head, then opened its beak and spoke. I was too desperate to be surprised. "You do not know me, but I know you. You are the maiden who did and continue to risk all that you are for the dwarves of Erebor, and for that I will honor your request. What do you ask of me?"

I held out the letter, now folded and sealed, and stared at it for a moment. _No going back_. I told him who to deliver it to. "Please," I whispered. "Make haste. It is an urgent matter, and he must receive it by sunrise tomorrow. If he does not receive it, all will be lost."

"It is a long flight," the thrush told me. "He may not receive it in time."

"Please," I whispered, desperate. "It's our only chance."

It bobbed its small head. "I know. I, however, cannot deliver your letter." My stomach dropped. "If I did, he would receive it in three days."

_Three days?! We had two at the most. _"I don't have three days—"

"I know, young one. So you have said. Let me speak." I clamped my mouth shut. "The golden eagle flies more swiftly than I, such that your letter will be delivered in a day. He owes your recipient a favor, I believe. He will come if you call."

I stared at him, barely daring to believe my fortune. "How do you know of this?"

"We all know of it," it told me anxiously, hopping in agitation. "After the dragon terrorized this land, he searched for you. During his searches, he found the eagle's ancestor, wounded from the dragon. He healed it, and now that eagle's offspring are in his debt. He is ready to repay you; do you accept?"

I nodded. "I do."

A moment later the great golden bird swooped down and landed on the railing, watching me with its large yellow eyes. It was one of the largest eagles I had seen, with the exception of the Great Eagles that lives near the Carrock. I curtsied. "Thank you," I told it, not sure if it could understand me. "Once you do this, your debt to my brother shall be repaid."

The thrush relayed my instructions to the eagle, which bobbed its head. I tied the letter to its leg with the leather thong and after a moment's hesitation, tied Legolas' ring to it as well. This way the recipient would know it was I who called upon him. The eagle stood still while I did this, then bowed its head.

"Go, my friend," I said softly. "Go as swiftly as possible."

In a flash of gold, the eagle was gone, and the thrush and I were alone. My stomach twisted. Oh, Eru, please let me have made the right choice. "You should go," the thrush told me. I stared into my room, wondering if I should tell Kili. "If what I have heard is correct, you will be instrumental in turning the tide in the coming conflict."

I turned my head sharply. "What conflict? Between the men and the dwarves?" It took off, wings beating the air. "Wait! Come back, please!"

It never did. I stood there in the cold, praying the bird would return and answer my questions, but it never did. A sudden sense of déjà vu swept over me, and I took a step backwards. My heel caught the hem of my cloak and I tripped backwards, landing heavily on the stone.

I didn't care. I understood. The conflict the thrush spoke of—it was the one I had seen in my dreams and visions for the last two centuries. I had experienced it a hundred thousand ways, and I knew every outcome. My heart froze. In every one, Fili and Kili had died. This was the final battle. That was why it was imperative that my letter was delivered on time, so I would have help. I had to save Fili and Kili, and Thorin as well, if I could.

"Aeyera?"

I jumped, slipping and scraping my hand on a rough patch on the stone, then scrambled to my feet and ran to open my door. Kili stood there, looking concerned. I hid my injured hand behind my back. "Kili!"

"Aeyera, are you alright? Bombur just told me that you didn't eat yesterday, and you haven't been down this morning either…" his voice trailed off as he eyed the floor of my room, which was sopping wet, and my suspicious stance. "What are you hiding?" he asked slowly.

"Hm? Oh, it's nothing. I just slipped and cut my hand on the stone." I showed him the scrape, which was dripping blood, giving him a weak smile.

"Here, let me wrap it for you." He entered the room and sat me down on the bed, ignoring my protests. He sat beside me. "Why haven't you been eating?"

I shrugged. "I honestly haven't thought about it recently. I've been so worried about you, and Thorin, and everything going on, and—"

"Darling," he told me softly. "You know this is not your burden to bear."

"It is," I replied gently, placing my uninjured hand carefully against his cheek. "Just as it is yours." He sighed and tied off the bandage. I rested my head on his shoulder. "Kili, you know I cannot face Thorin, not while he is in this state."

He nodded silently, then stood and offered me his hand. "Come on," he smiled, but the warmth did not quite reach his eyes. "I'll protect you."

I chuckled and took his hand, allowing him to pull me to my feet. "Of course."

"Do you want to spar again today?" he asked, leading me down the hall.

I shook my head and pressed my hand against my aching middle, glaring down at the beads scattered around on the floor. I took special care to move around them, bitterly recalling the many times I had slipped on them the night before. "No; I fear that I may need to spend my time sharpening my weapons as opposed to blunting them."

He stopped. "What do you mean?"

I stood across from him and crossed my arms protectively over my chest, fiddling with a piece of hair. Our eyes locked. I could see the emotions spinning in his eyes; the love, the despair, the confusion; all of it. When had I gotten to know him so well? "You know there will be a battle."

"No—" He took my hands. "Aeyera, we don't know that for certain. Dain and his soldiers—"

I squeezed back, gazing at him earnestly. "Will be here in two days time. There will be a skirmish at the least, Kili. And if Thranduil and his people come as I suspect they will," I swallowed, my mouth dry. "There will be a battle."

Kili glanced away from me, his eyebrows drawing together in a frown. He spoke, but it sounded as though he were trying to convince himself instead of me. "Surely it will not come to that. Thorin will see reason."

"Kili—"

He stared up at me and straightened so that he stood just a bit taller that I. "What would you suggest we do, Aeyera?" His tone was sharp and cold.

I flinched back but answered with a strong voice. "We leave. You, Fili, Bilbo, Balin; anyone Thorin could hurt. We leave."

"You would betray your king?"

"I would save him!" My voice by now had risen. "But Kili, if he were to hurt or kill any of you—"

"He wouldn't!"

Kili's voice rose to match mine in desperation and pitch. His hands moved as he gestured wildly, trying to explain. "We don't know that! We can still bring him back, we can—"

"Kili." I touched his face and looked him in the eye, and he stopped speaking. "We can't save him, not now. We have to go while we still can."

He gazed at me for a few seconds, dark eyes darting across my face. He met my eyes, and his own darkened. My heart crawled into my throat as turned away, and I froze when he spoke, my stomach dropping to my toes. "No."

"Kili—"

He cut me off with a wave of his hand, a scowl disfiguring his face. "No, Aeyera!" He was shouting now. I didn't understand. Why couldn't he see reason? This was the only way. "I am the prince!" he gestured to himself, throwing his hands in the air. "I will not run away like a coward!"

I tried to speak calmly, tried to speak reason into him, but my panic and fear twisted my words. "You are not a coward. But Kili, if you stay here, you will die. Your brother will die—Your uncle will die! Do you not see that? It is not cowardice to save the ones you love." My voice rose, and I spoke desperately, begging him to see reason. "My mind has been overcome before, Kili! I know what madness looks like. I have felt it firsthand. Thorin has been taken by it! There is no bringing him back, not now. Not while he remains in the mountain."

"No," he said, backing up. He released his hold on me, and my hands dropped to my side, chilled without his touch. He was afraid now, and his fingers grasped at the stone as though he were trying to claw his way out of the mountain. He looked like a cornered animal. "If—If we just find the Arkenstone—"

"The stone would only seal his fate, Kili." I stepped up and gripped his cold, shaking hands in mine. "Perhaps it is better it is not found." I touched the betrothal braid in his hair, then moved my fingers to rest against his cheek. "My love," I whispered. "I will not allow you to die. I made a promise to protect your family, and I will keep it until my final breath."

He let out his breath and rested his face against my hand. He reached up and captured it in his own, and I could feel him shaking. "Aeyera, I cannot go against Uncle. You know this already. I am not as brave as you to rebel against my king."

My heart clenched. "Kili—"

He looked up and met my eyes, silencing me. "However, I will not allow you or Fili, or the others, to come to harm. If it comes to it, I will stand against him. I will fight. For you."

"Kili." I stepped forward as he wrapped his arms around me, and I embraced him tightly, pressing my face into his neck. He wasn't wearing armor yet, and I could feel his chorded muscle shifting as he breathed. His heart drummed against his chest, its beat matching my own.

"I won't let anything happen to you," he murmured into my hair, pressing his hand into it and twisting his fingers in the dark brown locks. "I promise."

"Kili," I whispered. "Please do not promise that. I can not let you continue to make these promises for me."

"You are the only one I can make them for," he answered, brushing a damp strand of hair behind my ear. "You are the one I will protect above all others."

"Kili, if something does happen—"

"Don't," he answered, shaking his head. "If a battle does come, we will be ready. I will fight by your side. And if we fall, we fall together."

He pulled me closer, and I nodded into his chest, feeling tears prick at my eyes. He would not help me because he dared not contradict his king. If only he knew. I was going against Thorin as we spoke. I had seen his countenance change, and I had very little hope that I would receive forgiveness should my actions be discovered. With each passing minute my hope for mercy dwindled as the eagle drew nearer to its destination and the mountain strengthened its grip on Thorin Oakenshield.


	10. Chapter 10

"I have a surprise for you," he told me half an hour later. We strode hand in hand down the hall, and he swung our hands back and forth. He didn't seem to have noticed the absence of my ring quite yet; if he had, he hadn't mentioned it.

I turned to stare at him with wide eyes. "You didn't have to do anything for me," I replied curiously, squeezing his hand.

He smiled. "It's more of what I'm doing for _us_," he answered, pulling me along. "This way!"

We went down many different staircases and passageways until we reached an enormous, smoky cavern. Parts of it were in shambles, but most of it was intact. The main entrance was a row of enormous columns, which were mostly piles of rubble, and so we entered through a side door.

"The forges?" I asked, my voice echoing around the room. The forges were hot and brightly lit. Glowing, molten streams of metal flowed from one end of the room to the other, crisscrossing each other on the floor. Kili led me to a smaller forge in the corner. It sat in a row of small forges—at least, small in comparison to the ones the size of small towns—and was the only one out of all its companions that was lit.

"Aye. I decided it was time to teach you to make a betrothal bead." I turned to him with wide eyes. He looked very nervous, although he bore a slight smile.

"Oh, Kili—"

"Come on," he said quickly, leading me to the fire. "I'll show you how."

During the next few hours he taught me how to pick the metal and heat it to the right temperature to melt, and then how to pour it into the small mold to shape it. Fortunately for me, one could not make only one bead at a time, so I had several score spares to work with. Once the metal had cooled slightly, he showed me how to carve the correct designs into the metal with a tiny chisel. This was the part that took the most work, since he could not do it for me.

Finally, after mauling most of the beads, I completed Kili's betrothal bead. The white-gold bead was similar to mine, and it had miniscule vines that wrapped round it. Even smaller runes were carved into it, twisting around the vines like flowers.

At the end of the process, Fili—who apparently had been lurking around waiting for me to get the bead right—appeared to show me how to present the bead to my fiancé. I did, and Kili and I both were glowing. He embraced me, lifting me off my feet.

Amidst the joy I felt, though, I also felt a twinge of guilt. Was I betraying him?

Once this was done, we went upstairs to wash the soot and sweat from our faces, and then wandered round the mountain.

Several hours passed. Kili continuously offered activities to try, but I turned down each one. To be perfectly honest, I was incapable of doing pretty much anything involving my hands. I was a miracle I had been able to complete his bead, for my hands shook so badly that any time we entered a room and took a seat, I was forced to either plant myself on top of them or keep them clenched firmly in my lap.

Kili assumed that their trembling was due to my apprehension regarding his refusal to listen to me concerning the battle, or Thorin's illness, or my joy at finally sealing our courtship, while the others assumed it had something to do with me being on my… time. In fact, most of the dwarves I passed stopped me and congratulated me on my being able to conceive; apparently Fili had taken it upon himself to tell the whole company.

Although I was a bit irritated with Fili initially, I quickly saw his actions as a blessing. The company had no reason to question my pale pallor or trembling hands; they assumed it had something to do with the time of month. They were partially correct; the cramps that continued to plague me throughout the day were not particularly pleasant—but more than anything it was the fear that my actions would be discovered.

Sometime in the middle of the afternoon, I could take it no more. I stood and brushed myself off, then clasped my hands behind my back. Bofur, Bombur, Fili, Kili, and Ori stared up at me, smiles on every face. They were taking a rare break from searching for the thrice-damned Arkenstone, but their brothers and cousins were looking at that time. They would trade off later, except for Fili and Kili, whom Thorin had not yet made look.

"I am going to rest," I told them softly, wincing and bringing my hand around to press against my middle. Kili made to stand, and I motioned for him to sit, smiling wearily at him. "It's alright, I'll be fine."

"What's happening?" Bilbo questioned. I started; I had not noticed him come in.

Kili glanced at him and smiled, waving him over. "Bilbo, it's good to see you! Please, would you make sure Aeyera makes it to her room alright?" He paused. "I don't want her getting hurt, and she's too stubborn to admit that she needs my help," he added in a joking whisper.

"My time has not affected my hearing, Prince," I told him, raising my eyebrow. The other dwarves chuckled. Kili grinned cockily, and I couldn't help but smile back. Eru, I loved him.

"But of course, my dear Princess," he answered, bowing his head.

I laughed and followed Bilbo out the door, smiling giddily to myself as Kili's chuckles echoed round the hall. We walked in silence for several minutes, and I spent this time listening for any footsteps or shuffling that occurred around me. It was not until I was satisfied that no one could hear me that I spoke, and even then I waited until we were in an empty hallway far from the throne room before I began.

I took a deep breath. "Bilbo, I need to tell you something."

The hobbit's brows furrowed, but he nodded. "I thought so, you do not seem yourself today. What has happened?"

"You… you know how Thorin is. He's not himself. You saw him yell at Dwalin and Balin; his two closest friends." I swallowed. "When he finds out about the people of Dale, they will be slaughtered."

The Halfling's eyes widened. "You think it will come to that?" he gasped. "Aeyera, I admit that he does not seem like himself, but to murder innocent people?"

"Bilbo, you do not know what it is like to have your mind possessed by a darker power. You do not know how it feels to have your thoughts controlled and twisted by darkness, and I pray you never will." He shuffled, looking distinctly uncomfortable. His hand drifted towards his pocket. "I have." He clasped his hands before him, staring up at me pityingly. "Do not pity me, Bilbo Baggins," I ordered, frowning. "I do not remind you of my past to gain your sympathy, but to warn you. Thorin's choices are not his own; he would slaughter all men and elves in Middle Earth if the darkness commanded him to.

"So… so he sees friend as foe, and foe as friend?" Bilbo suggested, trying to better understand.

I shook my head wearily. "No. He sees all as his foes, even his own kin. He no longer can differentiate between his closest friend and his most hated enemy; he sees us all as dangerous and unworthy of trust. This is why I speak to you. If he discovers you have the stone, nothing will prevent him from striking you down where you stand."

Bilbo seemed to have either forgotten or dismissed my previous worries about knowing of his treachery, perhaps assuming that I was about to commit treason myself. "B-but we're friends," he stammered, frightened. "He wouldn't—"

"Yes, he would. And that is why I must tell you of what I have done."

Bilbo glanced up at me, his hands fisted against his hips. He was obviously flustered, and very pale. "What are you talking about?"

"I have been warned of what is coming," I told him. "I have seen it. The one I love most…" I swallowed, my voice thick. "He does not survive it."

"Kili?"

"Let me finish," I snapped miserably. "Thorin initiates this battle. I must either prevent it or tilt the scales in our favor."

Comprehension and horror dawned on Bilbo's face. "Aeyera, what have you done?"

"What I had to." I took a deep breath. "My brother will be leading an army to the mountain, and with any luck they will arrive before the battle begins. When they do, it is my hope that they can either block off Thranduil's army or get the people of Dale to safety."

"Do you have any idea how dangerous this is?" Bilbo snapped in a harsh whisper. "You are committing treason against two of the most powerful kings in the east of Middle Earth."

I glared at a small chink in the stone above Bilbo's head. "It does not matter, they both hate me anyway."

"Aeyera—"

"Bilbo, I am telling you this as a warning, not because I ask your advice. The letter has been sent. The eagle is on its way, and should reach my brother tomorrow at dawn. Assuming they leave within two hours, they will be here the following morning. I suspect that my brother is closer than expected anyway; he always had a knack for knowing when a battle was about to occur."

"Aeyera… are you sure about this?" Bilbo fretted. "If Thorin finds out—"

"My dear Hobbit." I crouched down and placed my hands on his shoulders, speaking softly and clearly. He stuttered to a halt, staring up at me with wide, sad eyes. My heart broke for how worried he was about me, but I couldn't let him influence or make me question my choices. It was too late for that anyway. "It is no longer a question of _if, _but rather a question of _when_. I am afraid I am not fortunate enough to avoid detection for long. I fear that Thorin suspects me already, and I fear that his suspicion will grow until it covers the company. I don't know why I am telling you this but to ask that if I am forced to leave… that you find a way to get Kili to safety. Tie him up, lock him in the armory, I don't know; but do something."

Bilbo sighed. "You seem to have forgotten my own treachery, Princess. When Thorin finds out—"

I cut him off. "If. If he finds out." Bilbo eyed me curiously. "For you, Bilbo, it is a matter of _if_, not of when. He trusts you, Bilbo. More than he trusts the rest of us. Do not let him find out the truth, Bilbo. It will take more than general suspicion for him to harm you."

"But… but is it possible that he will not know it is you who called for your brother? Surely he cannot blame the presence of elves on you alone," Bilbo argued.

"No," I told him gently. "It is not possible." My throat ached, and I left as though I were about to weep. "For my brother has my ring, and I will go to him when he comes. I trust that Kili will understand; that he will forgive me."

"But—but surely you are not going back on your promise," Bilbo's eyes grew wide, and he looked betrayed and horrified. "You swore to protect them!"

I frowned, eyes darkening, and straightened up, letting my hands slip off Bilbo's shoulders. I would never break my promise to protect them. I am an elf of my word; I would never go back on it, especially not on something such as this.

"Bilbo, I have always kept my word. But I cannot protect Kili from behind these walls of stone. If he remains here, he is protected from the battle while I fight to keep the mountain from being breached. I called my people here to defend the dwarves, Master Baggins, as we have always tried to do. I will not hide inside this Eru-forsaken mountain while others fight my battles for me. If Kili exits the mountain to fight, I will be by his side in an instant. Until that moment, I will fight for him alongside my brother."

"But what if you fall?" Bilbo whispered. "He will never forgive himself if you die."

I gave him a half smile even as my heart ached. "I've made it this far, haven't I?"

"Only with Kili's help," he retorted. I was reminded suddenly of a fussy mother telling off her children, and I almost laughed aloud. "Aeyera, you cannot do this on your own."

"You forget, Master Baggins, that I am much older than I appear. I survived for over a century without Kili."

"But you were not alone then."

"And I will not be alone now. My brother will be with me, and I will be surrounded by the elves I grew up with. They are dear friends of mine, Bilbo."

"Which elves do you speak of?" he asked, frowning. "I though your friends were banished to Rivendell."

"That is from where they come," I answered.

"But your brother is in Mirkwood, is he not? How can he travel to Rivendell and then to the mountain in a day?"

"Aeyera!"

I whipped around to see Kili racing towards me, his hair blowing back from his face. He grabbed my hand without slowing and pulled me down the hall and up the stairs. "Sorry, Bilbo," I called, nearly tripping over my own feet. Kili seemed panicked, and so I did not ask why we ran, I simply followed where he led.

He ran without ceasing until we reached our rooms, and only then did he release his hold on my wrist. He bent over, gasping for breath, while I stood and waited for him to speak.

"I though—you were going—to rest," he panted, trying to rise and falling back to lean on his knees.

"I stopped to speak to Bilbo," I answered. "But I was on my way to bed; we only stopped to speak for a couple minutes."

"About what?" He stood, groaning a bit, and pressed a hand to his side.

"The coming battle."

He sighed. "I told you, you don't need to worry—"

"A thrush spoke to me this morning, Kili. A _bird_ spoke to me and warned me about the battle that is coming. I cannot ignore it; that is not something I can forget."

"Maybe it was lying."

"Kili, it is a bird. What sort of personal plans do you think it has? It surely is loyal to your house or else it would not still be here after all these years. Do you remember when you fell in the river trying to save that pony?"

He started and blushed. "Yes."

"_After_ I told you to be careful and stay away from the edge?"

He scowled. "It was the pony's fault."

I ignored his wounded pride. "I warned you then and you did not believe me, and you nearly died. Do not make the same mistake again. This is much more important than a few bags of supplies. This is your life—our lives—that are being bargained with. Do not ignore me, my love. Please."

"I am not ignoring you, Aeyera. But I trust Fili's judgment, and right now Fili is letting Thorin reign."

I scoffed, releasing a cold, helpless laugh. "Thorin? Kili, it is only a matter of time before he turns on both you and your brother."

"Do not say that."

"Kili—"

He threw his hands in the air, his features twisted in a scowl. "Enough!"

I stopped talking and stared at him with wide eyes, flinching back. He yelled at me. He rarely straight up yelled at me; our voices had risen before when we were upset, even as soon as this morning, but he rarely outright _yelled_ at me. And though I knew he never would strike me, I could not help but flinch back; I had too much experience with being hit.

He saw my reaction, and his hands immediately were at his side. He backed up quickly, his hands held out before him, as if trying not to spook a horse or deer. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled. I just—"

"Enough," I echoed softly. My mind was made up. I had no more doubts about what I was about to do. "That's enough." Kili fell silent. "I cannot persuade you to listen. I will not speak of it again, Kili."

He looked crestfallen. "I just wanted to tell you to… to put on your armor. Gather your weapons. The people of Laketown have reached Dale, and it is only a matter of time before Thorin finds out."

I nodded stiffly and turned on my heel, heading for my door. "Aeyera." I stopped and looked back at him, my face a mask. He looked regretful and sad and hurt, but he tried to give me a slight smile. "I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered. I entered my room and shut the door, and quickly donned my armor. I packed my things. I doubted I would be returning to this room. A gust of wind blew wisps of hair into my mouth, and I looked up to see the balcony doors wide open. Had I forgotten to close them this morning? I moved to stand on the balcony, one hand on the hilt of my sword.

The sun was setting behind the mountain, casting all the land before it in a dark, enormous shadow. The telltale light of campfires shone within Dale, revealing the huddled forms of men, women, and children moving through the ruins searching for shelter. So this was the reason for Kili's haste. He must have found out about the survivors reaching the mountain and known that Thorin would react quickly and without thought. I guessed that he either would have us attack the survivors immediately, in which case my plan had failed and I would have to defend the people of Dale against thirteen angry dwarves and a hobbit, or he would build a barricade and wait to attack until his army arrived.

I tightened my belt. I hadn't eaten today either, had I? My stomach growled, and I huffed. Now was not the time. Another cramp hit me and I doubled over. I squeezed my eyes shut and clutched the railing, taking deep breaths.

"Aeyera."

I opened my eyes and found myself face to face with the thrush, which seemed concerned for me. I tried to stand but only managed a hunched, partially upright stance. "Have you any word?" I asked it.

Its feathers fluffed up a bit. "There is news of a darkness headed this way." My brows furrowed. Darkness? "According to my kin who live near to Radagast the Brown, an army has left Dol Guldur and is travelling towards the mountain with great haste."

The blood drained from my face, and my knees gave way, smacking painfully against the stone. My mouth tasted of iron. Azog. Azog was coming. "How much time do we have?" I heard myself asking.

"They will arrive no later than the morning after next. You have less than two days, my lady. I am truly sorry."

I shook my head wildly. Some detached part of me tried to reason that I had known this would happen. I had known that Azog had not given up his search for me. I had hoped he had, but it had been a fool's hope. "Who—" I licked my lips. "Who leads the army?"

There was no mistaking the pity in the bird's gaze. "Azog the Defiler." I lifted trembling hands to cover my mouth. I could not protect the company against three fronts. I did not know if I could protect them against my father, much less Azog; the two beings I feared most would be facing me down at the mountain in two days time. I thought I might faint. "I know of your past, my lady. We all do. Our ancestors saw the skin-changer Beorn take you from the fortress of Dol Guldur many decades ago and told us of your recovery and of how you continued to protect the dwarves by travelling with the Dúnedain, and then joining the company. I am sorry that it must end this way."

"It's not over yet," I murmured. A thought occurred to me, breaking through the fog of panic that had enshrouded my mind. "Do you know of Mithrandir?" I asked, glancing up at the bird.

It bobbed its tiny head. "I do."

"Can you find him?" I asked desperately.

"I do not need to," it answered. "For my kin have seen him; he travels here even as we speak." A wave of relief washed over me. I had feared for him greatly when he had not been at the mountain as planned, although I had been too preoccupied by Thorin's insanity to dwell on it except when I had nothing else to think on. My heart was gladdened by the news that he was alive and well, although I doubted there was anything that could do him harm. "He will be here soon, along with the elves."

My mirth vanished. "The elves?" I repeated.

"Your father's soldiers," the thrush clarified. "They will be here very soon, most likely by sundown tomorrow." I made some sort of whimpering noise in the back of my throat. He could not be here. Not yet. The thrush pecked at my hand in what I supposed was meant to be a comforting gesture. "I am sorry. May your letter be delivered swiftly." The thrush spread its wings and prepared to take fight. Our conversation was over. "Farewell! Wherever you fare, till your eyrie receives you at the journey's end!"

"May the wind under your wings bear you where the sun sails and the moon walks," I answered, remembering Gandalf's words. The thrush bowed its head and took of, allowing the wind to lift it up, higher and higher, until it disappeared from my sight. I sighed. I wish I had the freedom to fly away, to escape. Instead I was trapped, stuck inside a mountain. I belonged out there, out in the untouched forests of the world where I could walk beneath the starlight and moonlight until my time was spent.

As I crouched on the ground, staring up at the darkening sky, I began to wonder. If I survived the battle, could I stay here? I loved Kili with all my heart, but the mountain… I could feel it affecting me. It could not take hold of me like it did Thorin, but I could feel it stirring the tattered remnants of shadow that still remained in my mind. I could feel it seeking out a way to destroy me. If I stayed, I would be corrupted. I had to leave, but if I did, my choice would break both Kili's heart and mine. I had given up my immortality, and I had received the ability to conceive, but… I knew that when you loved someone, you often gave things up for him. But could I give up everything? My mind would be taken, lost. I would fade within the halls of Erebor. Could I give myself up for him?

I knew the answer.

But what if… what if I didn't survive the battle? Kili's heart would be broken, but he would live on. I prayed that he would love again if I were lost to him. I hoped it would not come to that, and I prayed that he would not be lost to me, but I knew that at the end of all this, I would have to make the choice between Kili and myself… and I didn't know whom I would choose.


	11. Chapter 11

An hour later I found myself watching from the shadows as Thorin yelled to the dwarves to build up a barricade to block us in. A sense of claustrophobia nearly overwhelmed me, and I wrapped my arms around my chest. I felt as though I were trapped, forced to watch as the walls of a cage were built up around me and sealed shut. Every rumble of stone, every grate of metal on rock sounded like the laughter of the mountain, mocking me. Trapping me.

The dark landscape beyond the mountain called to me, and every gust of cold wind, every twinkle of the stars, every chirp of a cricket beckoned to me, reaching deep into my soul to draw me back into the world I was created for. I drew my arms around myself, looking away. It took every ounce of willpower to prevent me from sprinting past the dwarves and flying away, never to return. Realistically, that couldn't happen. I wouldn't break my promises. All the same, what with my newfound confusion regarding my engagement, I did not know what I would do. Had Thorin not been glaring at me, I might have fled to my room and spent the remainder of the night on the balcony. I held my bag hidden behind my back. I wasn't sure why I had packed my weapons and the rest of my possessions, but I had a feeling that I would not be dwelling within the mountain for much longer.

Thorin turned to face his kin, allowing me a bit of breathing room. He had not asked Bilbo or I to help the company build; doubtless he thought I might have gotten in the way or tried to sabotage his plans. Whatever the case, I was glad I did not have to work. My stomach was being assaulted by cramps, and I wanted to curl up under a rock and remain there for a week. Perhaps I should speak to Oin, I wondered, wincing. He should have herbs for pain.

"I want this Fortress made safe by sunup," Thorin barked, not pausing to move so much as a pebble in help. It was _his _mountain, after all. He was the _king_. I scowled at his fur-covered back. "This Mountain was hard won, I will not see it taken again."

Kili ceased working, dropping the wheelbarrow he had been hauling behind him. My gaze was irrevocably pulled to him as he stood at his full height, standing up to the king. He turned on Thorin, despairing. His eyes travelled to mine but quickly locked on Thorin. "The people of Laketown have nothing. They came to us in need. They have lost everything," he finished, desperate. His eyes flickered to mine, and his features softened at the realization that he had been forgiven.

"Do not tell me what they have lost. I know well enough of hardship. Those who've lived through dragon fire should rejoice!" A mocking, insane smile appeared on his face, and I shrunk back. Kili's eyes widened in disbelief, and Thorin's voice dropped to a menacing growl. "They have much to be grateful for."

I stepped out of the shadows and into the torchlight, and all eyes were drawn to me. "Thorin, you sought shelter from your allies when your home was taken from you, and you did not receive it." Thorin whipped around, eyes darkening when they landed on me. "Would you allow others to suffer the same fate? You should extend mercy to these people; they have done nothing to you but to help you! You gave them your word, Thorin!" As I spoke, Thorin drew nearer and nearer until he stood directly in front of me. "Does your word mean nothing to you?" I whispered. "A true king is just and kind, but you—" I swallowed, my gaze hardening as I steeled myself for the consequences of my words. "You are a tyrant."

As fast as a snake, his hand darted forward, and his fingers clamped tightly around my throat and actually lifted my off the ground, slamming me into the wall. My toes barely brushed the ground. I reacted instantly, my hands jumping to his. I pried at his fingers as I gasped, unable to draw breath. I clenched my teeth and stared him down, trembling. Black spots danced across my line of sight. "Do not question my authority, _elf_," he spat, fighting against Kili, who was also struggling to release his grip on me. "I am your king! I could kill you right now if I—" His eyes darted towards something to my right, and his face drained of color as fury filled his gaze. Without warning he released his grip on me. I crumpled to the ground, coughing and gasping, as Thorin turned on Kili, seizing his shoulder in an iron grip. "What is _that_?" he snarled, pointing to me.

Somewhere in my muddled mind, I realized that he had seen my betrothal braid. My heart drummed even faster, so that there did not seem to be any spaces between heartbeats. Thorin's eyes were drawn to the braid in Kili's hair, and he let out a howl of anger. Kili tore his shoulder out of his uncle's grip and moved away. "You have asked this traitor to marry you?" Thorin screamed. "You have disgraced the line of Durin!"

With Thorin's attention focused solely on Kili, Fili was able to move around him and pick me up off the ground. He cradled me against his chest, whispering for me to be silent and to breathe. The crown prince darted around corners and past rooms untouched for centuries. My throat burned, and tears ran down my face, unnoticed in the darkness. Fili headed deeper into the mountain, twisting and turning down hallways unknown to me, until he reached a side hall.

With my hearing, I could still faintly hear Thorin's muffled bellows, and I trembled in Fili's arms, terrified. "Go." Fili placed me on my feet and nudged me towards the hall. "There is another way out. Follow this hallway to the end; there is a small tunnel there that leads outside the mountain. The tunnel is too small for any but a child to get through; my hope is that you're skinny enough to fit. You won't be able to put the door back in place; leave it, and I'll follow and close it once you are through. Do you understand me?" I nodded mutely. "Then go!" Fili began to move back to the main entrance, towards his brother.

"Fee—" I coughed, my throat burning. He froze. Hot tears dripped down my cheeks, and my throat closed, aching. "Don't make me leave."

"If you do not go now, Thorin will kill you. I will find you soon. See if you can make it to Dale. Bard will be more than willing to help you, I am sure, but if Thorin finds you, he will not spare you. Go!"

I began to retreat, stumbling down the hall. One hand rested on my throbbing throat, the other traced the wall. "Be careful, little sister," he called. I turned back to see his eyes glinting in the torchlight. "Come back to us." He turned and ran, heading back to his brother. My heart both warmed and ached at his words, and tears spilled onto my cheeks. My throat throbbed. I hurried down the tunnel, trying to hear the yells of the dwarves over the sound of my fluttering heart. When I reached the tunnel's end, I froze. It was a dead end. I ran my hands over the stone, unable to locate the door Fili had spoken of.

Thorin's familiar bellow echoed through the tunnel. "Where is she?!"

I whimpered and searched faster, scraping my hands on the walls. Finally, in the corner, I caught sight of a stone different from the rest. I pulled at it, scraping around it, and it came loose, revealing a tunnel nearly two feet wide, but no more than a foot and a half high. Fili was right, it was meant for children. I put my bag down and shoved my quiver and knives into it. I unclasped my sword as well and shoved it, my bow, and my bag into the tunnel, making sure the point of the sword faced away from me, and lay down on my stomach.

"Find her!"

I began to wriggle across the stone, my arms stretched out before me, grabbing onto the crevices in the stone and pulling myself forward. It was an agonizing process for someone like me, someone who was created for the sky and the sea. I kept as quiet as possible, and I trembled every time Thorin's yells reached my ears. I crawled for what seemed like ages before I heard Fili's voice as he called to Thorin. I froze.

"Uncle, I'll check down here, you go check that tunnel." A moment later, he spoke again, barely above a whisper; he knew I could hear him. "I'm sealing off the tunnel, Aeyera. Keep going. It's far, but you'll make it. Don't stop, not for anything. You won't be able to get back this way, do you understand?"

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me.

"Aeyera?" My heart jumped into my mouth. It was Kili. He sounded near tears, and I wanted nothing more than to crawl back to him and throw my arms around him. I would risk death if it meant that I could stop his suffering. "Aeyera, I'm sorry. You were right, and I was stupid. I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to leave; you were right about Thorin, Aeyera."

"Brother, Thorin is coming."

"Go," Kili whispered. "I will see you again. Hide somewhere until it's safe. Go. I love you."

The stone ground into place, and their voices were cut off. I took as deep a breath as I could and kept moving, pushing my bag before me. I took deep breaths, trying to soothe my throat even as more tears streamed down my face as my heart broke. I was leaving him. I wouldn't have a change to explain before my brother arrived; he would think I was betraying him.

To keep myself from being overwhelmed by thoughts such as these I counted in my head to pass the time. Each time I reached one hundred and ninety seven I would stop and rest. That was my age, after all. After about thirty seconds, I would begin worming my way forward. My throat burned, but I could do nothing to help it. Once I made it outside, I could get water and sleep, and figure out what to do. Until then, there was nothing more I could do but to keep moving. The mountain seemed to be crushing me, and I could imagine everything wrong that might occur or might have already occurred: Smaug's actions at discovering Bilbo having caused a cave-in unbeknownst to Fili and me being trapped, unable to move forward or backwards. The mountain deciding suddenly that it was not fond of this little hole at its base and deciding to be rid of it. I shuddered and scooted forward. I wondered what would happen if Fili was mistaken, if this tunnel merely led to another part of the mountain; or worse, to Dale or Mirkwood. Eru, I would rather face Thorin that appear before my father.

I wondered what time it was. It felt as though I had been crawling for hours. I was exhausted, but I refused to sleep. Not here. Not until I made it outside.

I thought of Kili, of the family we one day would have. I wondered what our children would look like, whether they would be boys or girls, or whether they would have my curls and his eyes or my eyes and his smile. A smile appeared on my own face as I thought of his, and my heart ached. I hoped he would understand my choices. I hoped he would not hate me. I pushed on, dragging myself over miles of stone as my muscles strained and my limbs trembled. Sweat poured down my face and soaked my clothing. My armor only slowed me down, but it was impossible to remove, but even if I had been able to take it off, I would have had to leave it, and with the upcoming battle that was not something I could afford to do.

After many long hours, the tunnel began to grow brighter. I moved faster, creeping along like an inchworm towards the light. The tunnel, which had began to tilt upwards at only a couple degrees several miles back, opened up into a spherical space with a three foot diameter all around, large for me to crawl out and stretch a bit. A shaft of light illuminated the tiny room, and I realized with a start that the sun had risen. So many things were occurring today. My letter would be delivered. The elves would soon be arriving in Dale. I would have to seek shelter with the people of Dale, if I could.

I took a deep, shuddering breath, fighting back the sobs that threatened to close my throbbing throat. I rarely felt so alone. The last time I felt so helpless… over a century ago, in Dol Guldur. I had been betrayed by my friends; sent away by those I had promised to protect. My fiancé was trapped in the mountain, and I could not protect him without being called a traitor. I pressed one hand to my mouth as I rummaged around for my water-skin. Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I took deep gulps of the cool liquid, nearly choking on it in my eagerness to drink. When my thirst was quenched, I stood, pleasantly surprised to find that the ceiling was accommodating to one of my height, and pushed my bag up into the last section of tunnel, blocking most of the sunlight. Taking a deep breath, I followed.

Ten minutes later, I shoved my bag into the open air and pulled myself out of the mountain. I stood, my eyes closed and arms outstretched, my face turned up to face the sun, taking deep gulps of air. I had never been so glad to be free. The hole I had crawled out of was the size of a rabbit hole, easily ignored, but to be safe I moved the grass to cover it. I stood in a valley beyond the mountain, which was covered with yellow grass and withered heather. Come spring, however, it would be filled with bright green turf and violet flowers.

The bright sound of a hunting horn reached my ears, carried on the wind. I turned and looked around. I could see the tip of the mountain looming over the far end of the valley. It was not yet midday, and the sun was warm and bright. Despite this, the wind remained bitter cold, and I drew my hood up against it. My cloak had snagged on so many things in the last few weeks that it was nearly in tatters, although the hood itself still functioned.

I untied my sword and retied it to my belt, and then took my knives and quiver from my pack. I tied my bow to the quiver and slung them all onto my back, strapping them into place. My pack went over my shoulder, and I began my journey across the valley towards the mountain, running across the uneven turf. I wondered at what all had happened in my absence, since my trek had taken all-night and part of the morning as well. I reached the foot of the hill and began to spring up it, reveling in the sunlight and cold wind. When I reached the top of the hill, I looked back, pleased with how fast I had run, and then looked ahead.

I froze, horrified. The dwarves had moved incredibly quickly; a massive wall of stone had been built at the gate, blocking all entry into the mountain. Since the last time I had seen it, an army of my father's soldiers had occupied Dale; I could make out their armor and long hair from here. Instantly I dropped to the ground, praying that none of them had seen me.

I was partially hidden in the tall grass, so I doubted anyone not already looking for me would find me, but I still shook with fear. If Thranduil found out that I was out here, alone, and most certainly not safe inside the mountain… I shuddered to think of what he might do. I peered over to the gate and was surprised to see a lone rider making his way to the mountain. I could see Thranduil on his elk standing back with his soldiers, and a moment's observation showed the lone rider to be Bard. I cursed when I realized I could no longer seek shelter with him; not while my father resided in or around Dale, at any rate.

I saw him dismount and approach the wall, and I could see the armor clad figures of the dwarves standing atop it. Thorin moved down from the wall, disappearing from sight. Bard moved until he stood directly by the stone, and I could see him speaking to something; I guessed that there was an opening for him to speak to Thorin through. Several minutes passed, and without warning Bard slammed his fist against the stone. He then turned on his heel, remounted his horse, and cantered back to where Thranduil waited, the epitome of tranquility. I turned my gaze to the company. Bilbo and Thorin were speaking, although from the distance I could hear nothing. Noting this, I looked to Bard. He and Thranduil spoke for a moment, and I growled angrily as Thranduil drew his sword and pointed it towards the mountain before turning and riding back to Dale. His intentions were clear. He intended to attack the mountain. After a moment's hesitation, Bard followed, and minutes after the two leaders returned, the entire city was abuzz with activity. I could see men rushing to and fro laden with dusty weapons whilst the elves strode calmly about setting up their own shelter, set slightly apart from that of the men.

I moved back so that the hill rested between Dale, the mountain, and I, and I pressed my forehead to the earth. What was I to do? I couldn't stay here; I was unprotected, and if Azog arrived early I would be murdered. I couldn't return to the mountain; Thorin would kill me. I couldn't go to Dale, or else Thranduil would find some way to kill me and make it look an accident. I groaned, fisting the dead grass in my hands and sagging against the side of the hill. I hated being so alone.

"Aeyera."


	12. Chapter 12

A hand grasped my shoulder and flipped me onto my back before I had a chance to think. Out of instinct, I drew my knives as I moved and held them out defensively before me. I snarled up at the person before me, who stood directly beside the sun, but I was unable to see his face or figure. He pointed his staff at me menacingly, and I lay still, cursing myself for being so stupid. I should have found shelter the instant I had left the tunnel. Perhaps I should return to the tunnel as soon as I escape… No. I shook my head slightly. I would _not _be returning to that cramped space any time soon.

The figure remained silent, scrutinizing my fallen form as I lay frozen in the grass. Neither of us moved. Whoever this person was, he recognized me, or at least suspected my identity despite my hood covering my face and hair. Since he had shown signs of aggression and even now did not show friendliness towards me… I decided that I would make the first move. I would rather go down fighting than be slain on the ground.

Without warning I lunged for the figure, propelling my body forward and slashing at his staff. He seemed unsurprised by my attack and merely sidestepped, allowing my momentum to carry me halfway down the hill before I managed to find my footing once more. I skidded to a halt, digging my knives into the dirt to slow my descent, and glared furiously up at the figure, the sunlight still stinging my eyes. I took a step forward and then froze, my arms dropping to my sides as my mind finally registered just whom it was I had tried to harm.

"Gandalf?"

The wizard smiled fondly and passed his staff from his right hand to his left, relaxing. "Aeyera Greenleaf."

"Gandalf!" I scrambled up the hill until I reached him and threw my arms around his tall, robed form as he laughed, returning my embrace. "It is so good to see you!"

"And you, my dear," he responded, pulling away.

I sheathed my knives, grinning sheepishly. "I'm sorry for assaulting you."

He waved off my apology, his large, bushy eyebrows lifting in amusement. "It's quite alright. I should have known not to sneak up on someone such as yourself." He gazed down at the staff he held, frowning slightly at the gash in the wood from where my dagger had met its mark. "Although I do wish you had waited to find out who I was before you attacked me; this staff is borrowed."

My cheeks burned. "I thought the staff looked familiar," I chuckled, embarrassed. My voice was rough and scratchy, and my breathing sounded high, almost like a whistle. I rubbed my neck with one hand, hoping to alleviate the pain. "I am sorry, Mithrandir. But right now… these are dangerous times, and I could not afford to wait and see if you were friend or foe. Two out of the three kings present would rather have my head on a spike than look at me."

Gandalf frowned, truly disturbed this time. "Whatever do you mean?"

"It… it is a long story," I said softly.

"Well then let us find a place to speak, my dear," he answered, observing me closely with his blue-grey eyes. We began walking towards one of the foothills not far away, and my thoughts swirled around like a storm as we sat beneath an old, twisted tree behind the cover of some boulders. I wondered if telling him of Thranduil's actions would prompt Gandalf to kill him. I doubted it; Gandalf didn't seem like one to do such a thing, even to one as terrible as the Elvenking. All the same, I hoped the wizard would do something.

And so, after taking a deep breath, I began to explain, speaking despite the brokenness of my voice and the pain it caused me. I told him everything: everything that had happened from the time he left us at the border of Mirkwood to my escape this morning from the mountain. The shadows around us seemed to grow and become menacing, which was especially strange because of the time—it was midday. When I told him of my torture at Thranduil's hands, he grasped his staff so tightly that I feared it might snap in two. Despite this, I continued, telling him of mine and Kili's Morgul wounds, and how my mother had healed me. I told him of my betrothal to Kili—here the wizard beamed, forgetting his anger for a moment, and offered his congratulations—and my ability to conceive. At this point he stopped, staring at me in wonder, and a smile broke out across his face.

"I have do doubt that the Valar have great plans for you and your children," he said proudly. I smiled in response, practically glowing. "To change rules of nature such as these… you must be very special indeed."

His mirth vanished, however, as I told him of my visions and Thorin's transformation. The wizard murmured words in a forgotten language, glaring up at the mountain. When I told him of the events of the previous night, he stood and began walking, heading towards the gate.

I scrambled to my feet and rushed after him, struggling to keep up. I was exhausted, having not slept in two days and having spent the last twelve hours or so pulling my weight through a tunnel at the base of a mountain. "Gandalf, wait!"

"I warned him of this," he muttered, not bothering to turn his head to look at me. "I told Thorin not to enter that mountain without me, and what did he do?"

"He entered the mountain," I deadpanned, stepping in front of him and momentarily blocking his progress forward. He glared down at me, eyebrows quivering menacingly. "Gandalf, allow me to finish explaining. Please."

He muttered under his breath but allowed me to pull him back behind the rocks so that I might finish my story. I explained in detail the effects the mountain had on him, and on me. Thorin and I were very similar. I remembered what it felt like to be fully overcome by the darkness, if only for the briefest of moments before my brother knocked me unconscious and the Valar healed me. I remembered the strength and power I felt running through my veins, and also the uncertainty and anger that ensnared my mind. I knew how difficult it was to throw off something like this, and I had no idea what could help him. "But we have to," I told Gandalf. "We have to save him."

I told him of how Fili and Kili had fought back some and at other times remained silent, to which Gandalf nodded appreciatively, approving of their actions. Apparently what I saw as cowardice he saw as wisdom. "We are not all as stubborn and fiery as you are," he told me. "And although you have the best intentions at heart, it cannot be denied that your actions often have gotten you into trouble, whether it be with Thranduil or Thorin. Fili and Kili were right to be cautious, and their caution earned them some level of immunity with their uncle. Had they outright defied him every time they disagreed, as you suggested, Thorin would have watched the three of you all more closely and certainly would not have allowed _you_ to live." He paused for a minute, thinking. "Why don't you leave this?" he asked thoughtfully. He was testing me; I knew it. "Why not go somewhere far away, somewhere peaceful and safe, and outlast this?"

I smiled sadly at him. "I have not told you, have I?" I answered a question with a question, much to his confusion. He shook his head. "I have chosen a mortal life, Gandalf. I have chosen Kili. I could not outlast this even if I wanted to."

He shook his head. "You foolish girl," he murmured. I knew he said this not out of spite but out of loss and understanding. He seemed grieved, and I wondered suddenly how many friends and loved ones he had outlived. "You gave this up without knowing the outcome of the battle. If he dies—"

"Then I will as well," I answered, my voice just above a whisper. I stared down at my hands, folded neatly in my lap. "I love him, Gandalf. He is my one. If he dies, I will as well, for our hearts are one. His death would kill me as surely as a blade, but I will not allow him to fall. As long as there is breath in my lungs, I will protect him as I always have."

"And what if you both live," the wizard countered, "but Thorin remains under the control of the dragon sickness: what will you do then? Or what if you die tomorrow? Have you thought about what Kili will do then?"

My heart ached, and my throat throbbed both from choking down sobs and from being nearly strangled hours before. "If we both live and darkness continues to reign in Thorin's heart, I would hope we could go somewhere else, somewhere safe. If I die… I pray that Kili's heart will mend, and that he would love again, someday."

"If he is your One," the wizard said, laying a gnarled hand on my shoulder, "then you are his as well. Whether you die or you leave, he will never love again. The only way to spare him of such heartache is to live, which is why you should stay away from the battle."

"And what then?" I shot back. "If he dies, I will fade and whither until I die as well. I will have broken my promise to him, and to Fili and Thorin."

"Do you think you can still save Thorin?" Gandalf eyed me, watching for my response.

"I will do my utmost," I answered.

He nodded, satisfied, and then frowned. He leaned forward and pulled down the hood of my cloak, revealing the bruises I was sure had by now flourished on my pale skin. "What happened?!"

I had not mentioned the manner of Thorin's attack, but only that he had cast me out. "Thorin. He tried to strangle me."

The Istari sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. I had just one more thing to tell him, and thinking about it made my heart pound like a war drum against my ribs. "Gandalf," I swallowed. "I am afraid I have made a terrible mistake." He glanced up at me but did not reply, instead waiting for me to continue. "I contacted my brother yesterday morning," I told him hesitantly. My throat had gone very dry. "A golden eagle that owed a debt to my brother delivered a letter to him. He should have received it early this morning."

"And what did this letter say?" the wizard asked, suspicious.

I gulped. "I asked him to bring an army to the mountain to keep the peace and prevent the dwarves from attacking the people of Dale."

Gandalf stared in stunned silence for a fraction of a second before cuffing the back of my head and leaping to his feet. "You foolish girl! Have you any idea what you've done?"

I scrambled to my feet, very aware of the height difference between us: my head was level to his chest. "I did not know that Azog was coming! I did not even know Thranduil would be here in time, I just wanted to keep the dwarves and men apart long enough for Thorin's sanity to return!"

"And you think that will happen now?!" Gandalf was shouting now, furious with me. "Do you have any idea what you've done? You're asking Legolas to directly defy your father and convince his own soldiers to go against their king and then serve under you to protect the dwarves, whom they hate! Have you any idea how ridiculous this is? Think, Aeyera!"

"Mithrandir, you do not understand! I am not asking Legolas to do any such thing, although I will ask him for his aid when I see him." The wizard stilled, leaning against his staff. "My elder brother, Maladernil, was banished from the Greenwood when I was very young. You know this. You know him very well." The wizard nodded. "He would meet me in the woods over the years until my imprisonment, and afterwards I would see him whenever the Dúnedain passed by or through Lorien. Maladernil…" I took a deep breath, revealing my true thoughts. "He is the rightful king. He is not afraid of Thranduil. He and I are the same; he helped protect the dwarves at the battle of Azanulbizar so long ago. He is leading the elves in Imladris, who tried to help me so long ago, here to protect the mountain. Gandalf, you must understand: I would never put my family in danger."

"And yet you plan on overthrowing Thranduil and placing your brother upon the throne."

I shook my head. "No. As much as I would like to do so, it is not within my power to do such a thing. And should bloodshed occur, where he is slain by my brothers or myself, our people would only see it as a child spilling the blood of their parent for power. They will not see it as a tyrant being overthrown. But should anything happen to Thranduil, I want Maladernil to take the throne. He is the rightful heir."

"You want your father to die." It was not a question. Gandalf studied my carefully, a frown prominent upon his face.

I stared back at him, my face expressionless, but my eyes burned with anger. "He is not my father. He lost the right to call me that when he exiled and tortured me. Thorin is more a father to me than Thranduil will ever be."

Gandalf sighed, looking older than I had ever seen him. For the first time I really took in his battered, bloody appearance. He was covered in dirt, and his robes were torn. I nearly asked what had happened, but he spoke before I could. "I do not think you should have contacted your brother," Gandalf told me, "but what's done is done. It may be that your actions save your friends. You seemed to have timed it well, at any rate: the elves are not in Mirkwood to enforce their exile, so they can ride through very quickly. Does Maladernil remain in Lothlórien?"

"I believe so. He was not in Imladris when last I was there."

"That was many long months ago," the wizard reminded me. "There is every chance that he has gone to Rivendell. If my memory serves me correctly, your brother always has had an uncanny ability to tell is a battle was about to take place. It was he who led the elves to Azanulbizar. They were hindered on the way and arrived too late, unfortunately, but had they not been stalled they would have arrived before the battle even began."

I frowned. "What are you saying?"

"I am saying, my dear, that there is every chance that your brother was on his way here before you even sent the letter. I doubt, however, that he knew that you were here as well. When was the last time you saw him?"

"Before Arathorn's death," I answered softly. "Nearly twenty years ago."

"Then it is likely that he still thinks you to be travelling with the Dúnedain. There is no question that he will come all the swifter when he receives your letter; he always was very protective of you."

I thought back to my release all those years ago, when Beorn rescued me. I was on the brink of death for weeks, but I remembered that Maladernil, upon hearing word that an elfling had been rescued from Dol Guldur, had raced to Beorn's home. He knew I had been missing for two decades and spent that time listening for word of me. I remember when he entered the room and saw me, his face crumpled, and he fell to my bedside holding me tightly in his arms, weeping. He stayed with me until I was healed and travelled with the Dúnedain until we reached Lorien. He tried to convince me to stay there, but I had refused, explaining my need to protect people. No one deserved to experience what I had; I would do everything I could to prevent anyone being harmed as I was.

My brother's kind heart and gentle spirit had been a balm for me, for although my heart was good, I was much more rebellious than either of my brothers. He had changed me, made me gentle, and calmed me when I was afraid. I loved him very much, and had a closer relationship with him than I did Legolas, although I loved him as well. Both had a special place in my heart, but it hurt to think of Maladernil because I was never able to see him. Our paths crossed by chance every few years or so, and it was a joy to see him, but my heart ached whenever we parted. We were very similar, he and I; we both were exiled by Thranduil and had tried our utmost to protect those we cared about. I missed him very much, and could not wait to see him… but I was worried. I was afraid he would be disappointed in me for my choices.

"Thorin will not be pleased when he discovers this, Aeyera," Gandalf cautioned. I remained silent, and he sighed. "Kili does not know, does he?"

"No," I breathed. "He doesn't." I turned to face him, wrapping my arms around myself. "Gandalf, what do I do? If Kili thinks I betrayed him…"  
"He knows your heart," the wizard replied kindly, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. "And he knows how much you love him. He will understand."

"I hope you are right," I murmured.

The wizard straightened. "Of course I am right. I must go now, the men and elves must be warned of the orcs."

I reached out and grabbed his sleeve as he turned to leave. "Thranduil will not believe you," I told him, pulling him back. "He will say that you only wish to protect your friends."

"What would you suggest?" he asked, staring down at me.

I answered without hesitation. "Go to Dale and look for their leader, a man named Bard. He is the direct descendant of Girion, Lord of Dale, and an honorable man. Speak with him, and give him my name. He knows me, and he will listen to me. I will follow behind you and search for my brother. Once I find him, we will meet you at the top of the citadel." I pointed to a stone tower at the southern end of the city, which had not yet been occupied. The wizard nodded slowly. "Do be quick," I added, heading towards the city.

"My dear," he called. I turned to look at him. "You have proven yourself." I smiled, slightly confused, and moved to continue on, but his next words stopped me. "And you should also know that whatever the outcome of this battle, you have been redeemed." I froze. "You have fulfilled your promise to the dwarves a hundred times over. Do not be dismayed by the outcome of the battle if you are unable to save them all."

I slowly turned to face him, my hair whipping about my face as the wind picked up. "Thank you, Gandalf," I murmured. "But I will save them. All of them."

He gazed at me sadly, and I wondered how many battles he had seen occur, how many friends he had seen die for the same cause I was fighting for. "All the same," he replied. "The outcome of this battle is not your fault."

"I will save them," I repeated, feeling desperation and panic rise up within me. I turned away from the wizard and began striding purposefully towards the city. "Or I will die trying."


	13. Chapter 13

It was surprisingly easy to sneak into Dale without being caught. The elves were scattered around the city to keep watch and set up camp, but were not looking for an exiled elf princess. If they were, they would expect one that was sneaking around in the shadows, not striding somewhat confidently through the doors.

I stopped before entering the city and removed my armor, placing all but my chain mail into my pack and shoving it and my weapons beneath a bush. My throwing knives, a gift from Fili, were hidden in various folds of clothing; I was not going unarmed into a potentially deadly situation; I had learned my lesson after Dol Guldur. My mail was hidden under my tunic; it would hopefully prevent Thranduil from stabbing me in the back. I loosened my belt as much as I dared and then cinched it back as soon as the tunic appeared baggy enough, making my form one of a starving child.

Since it was entirely possible that my short stature had been forgotten by Thranduil's men, I used my childlike height to my advantage and proceeded to make myself look as much like a human child as possible. Without removing the courting braid, I parted my hair down the middle and braided it on both sides, letting the tresses hang down my front. I made sure that both my bead and my pointed ears were covered and hidden beneath my curls, and I mussed my hair up for a moment, making the braids look several days old.

I brought my hood up to cover my head and wrapped my tattered cloak around myself as well as if for warmth. My clothes, skin, and hair were already covered in dust, cobwebs (to my increasing horror), and dirt from my crawl through the mountain tunnel, and my face was streaked with tearstains. The bruises on my neck, already yellowing due to my ability to head quickly, enforced the idea that I was merely a starved, frightened, injured little girl. And although I knew I had matured in the last year, I hoped that none would look twice at my appearance and would simply allow me to pass without question.

I learned long ago that the best place to hide is in plain sight, and it seemed that my theory was correct. I scampered through the doors, gazing at the elves with awe, my mouth hanging open. They ignored me, staring straight ahead. I continued on, craning my neck to try and see every elf that passed me by. I knew from staring at the mirror in my room that whenever I cried, or rather, after I cried, I appeared much younger, much more vulnerable. I scurried around the city, peering shyly into different buildings, hoping to catch sight of my brother.

Finally, after nearly two hours, I had the fortune to, quite literally, run into Bain, son of Bard. I stumbled and fell backwards onto the cobblestones, sniffing. An old woman passing by gave the young man a scalding look as he knelt down before me, eyes wide, asking if I was hurt, where my parents were, and telling me that he was very sorry. He offered me his hand, and as he lifted me to my feet, he finally looked me in the eye. His mouth fell open, eyes widening in surprise.  
I smiled, staring up at him. "It's good to see you again, Bain."

"Aey—"

I cut him off with a look. "If you say that name here," I warned, "I will be dead in seconds." A grin brightened my face as a couple of guards walked by, and I offered him my hand. "My name's Mara," I beamed. He took my hand hesitantly and shook it, glancing around.

"It's nice to meet you… Mara." He glanced around and lowered his voice. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm looking for my brother," I answered, my voice pitched higher to resemble a child's but spoken at the same volume as would be normal. No secrets. I hoped Bain would catch on soon.

Recognition dawned in his gaze. "Oh, Le—"

"Yes, Leland," I finished, tugging on his arm. I was again thankful for my height; for all the world we looked nothing besides a bright-eyed little girl bouncing on her toes, clinging tightly to the jacket sleeve of a teenage boy. No one would suspect two innocent children of anything sinister, as was evident in the way the guards passed us by without a second glance. "Have you seen him?"

He nodded, his forehead creasing. "Yes…" he glanced around, then took my hand and began leading me down a path between two large buildings. The charred husks of once mighty trees stood guard at each end of the alley. I was grateful that he kept up the charade. Our height difference, though much greater than the one between the dwarves and I, was not as great as I initially had thought. I did not quite reach his shoulder, and the top of my head did not meet the chest of many of the elves we passed. I shrank against Bain whenever one passed, gaping at them, but they barely spared us a glance.

I put a skip in my step, chattering about my brother 'Leland' and how happy he would be to see me, and whether our mum would be with him, and how we had been separated but I was sure I would find them here, I was sure they were looking for me. Several elderly men and women we passed gave me pitying looks, and I felt guilty playing off their hardship until I recalled that it had once been mine as well, and that I was working to end it for them. Bain led me to a large, crumbling building where most of the supplies were being piled and pulled me gently over to a tall, blonde elf overseeing it all.

"Excuse me," he called, striding up to the elf. I shrank behind him, one green eye peeking around the young man at the elf. I could not tell if it was my brother or not. Although few of the elves in the Greenwood had golden hair like Legolas and Thranduil did—indeed, Maladernil and I both had dark hair like our mother—and it should have been easy to pick my brother out in a crowd, I still hesitated. I could count on one hand how many times I had seen my brother since my exile—twice, since I counted my imprisonment as one segment of time and also counted Laketown as one, although it was perilously close to falling into the same category as the first—and therefore was not able to identify him nearly as well as I could my eldest brother. Therefore it was with baited breath that I waited, clinging to the back of Bain's shirt, as the elf turned to eye the young man with some confusion. It wasn't him. I hid completely.

"Yes?" he questioned. I imagined him glancing at me in confusion, wondering why I was hiding, and I began to shake. If Thranduil learned I was here—

"I'm sorry to bother you," Bain began, "but it is urgent. This girl was separated from her brother upon reaching the city and has been looking for him everywhere. I am looking for my father as well, hoping that he has seen her brother somewhere. Have you seen him?"

The elf was silent for a moment, but eventually spoke. It was easy to guess that he did not know Westron very well, as he spoke very slowly and clearly. I knew, however, that however poorly he might speak the language, he was able to understand it much better than he let on. Most of us were like this: we understood a language better than we spoke it. Had I not grown up as a princess, for however short a time, I would likely not have known how to speak Westron, and therefore would not have been able to travel with the Dúnedain. Although, admittedly, it was through travelling with them that I learned to speak it so fluently. "Who is your father?" he asked. His voice was tense, rather annoyed if I'm being completely honest, as if he had no desire to deal with these meddling human children and wanted only to return to the Elvenking's halls and drink wine.

"Bard, lord of Dale," Bain answered clearly. His voice held an edge of its own, making it clear that he would_ not _allow anyone, not even an elf, to treat him with disrespect. He would make a just lord one day, I mused.

"Ah, yes. He was overseeing the… ahem, _training_, in the market." The elf's tone made it clear that he looked down upon the farmers and fishermen who were training with dulled swords and rotten rakes, and I couldn't really blame him. When one has had centuries to enhance and perfect their fighting skills… seeing those with none try and defend themselves is almost laughable, unless in a life or death situation, when the humor turns to pity and panic. Pity for their naivety, and panic when you realize that the untried fighter's blood will be on your hands for not teaching him well enough to properly defend himself.

I could practically feel Bain's furious glare, knowing that a scowl had darkened his face. "Bain?" I whispered, tugging on his sleeve. As the young man moved to look down at me, the elf turned his back on us, returning to his mundane task of sorting through all the vegetables and firewood that was being brought in. "Can we hurry? I want to find my brother."

He nodded, giving the elf a nasty look. "Of course, Ae—Mara." He hastened to correct himself, but the damage was done. The elf turned sharply to stare down at me, and I stared back, frozen. I still was half hidden behind Bain, and I did not recognize the elf, so I thought there might be a chance I was not recognized. I knew Thranduil's men and guards, I recognized all their faces, and this one was not one of them. I could only pray that he had never seen me or received a description of me. Surely Thranduil did not want me that badly?

The elf, one of the tall ones, I noted bitterly, knelt down to look me in the face. I stared back, trembling, and felt tears form in my eyes. To my growing alarm, I realized that I wasn't faking them. I was so exhausted, so afraid, that I was crying. As I realized later, that was what saved my life. "What did you say your name was?" he asked in the common tongue.

I gripped Bain's tunic tighter and gazed back at him, but managed to squeak out an answer, my name evolving to cover Bain's flub. "Amara," I whispered.

"And whom exactly are you looking for?"

A tear slipped down my cheek, and I did nothing to stop it. My bottom lips trembled, and the smirk slid off the elf's face. "My brother," I whimpered, another tear dripping from my lashes. "Leland."

"Oh." The elf looked alarmed that I was crying, and he stood, brushing the nonexistent dirt off his clothing. He gave me a slight pat on the shoulder and waved us on. "There, there… take her to her family, please."

Bain nodded and strode away, keeping a firm grip on my shoulder. I did not dare look back at the elf, who I knew was watching me, but sniffled instead, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands instead of wiping under my eye like an adult would. As soon as we passed through a crowd, where I knew the elf could no longer hear us, I let out a breath. It was ironic to me that I, a two hundred year old warrior, had to rely on a young, untrained boy. My life was quite literally in his hands, and if he slipped up again like he just had, the consequences would not bear thinking about.

"We need to hurry," I murmured, gripping his hand tighter.

"I know," he replied, shying away from a rowdy group of elves sitting on the molding steps of a marble building whilst sharpening their swords. "Once we reach Da, we can—"

"We can't go to your father, Bain. The Elvenking is with him, and I…" my voice cracked, and when I spoke, I was completely honest, although I was sure that my fear added to the illusion that I was but a frightened girl. "I am afraid of him."

He squeezed my shoulder. "There's nothing to fear," he replied lightly. We made it to the other side of the crowd and entered another alley, this one completely deserted.

I stared up at him with disbelief, ready to tell him what really had happened within the Elvenking's halls, but before I could a strong, familiar voice stopped me in my tracks. By this time, we were halfway through the backstreet, no one around to hear us.

"Bain!" I glanced back, making sure to keep my face covered, and nearly collapsed in relief. Legolas strode through the crowd, making his way towards us. He hadn't seen me yet. He entered the alley and reached the bargeman's son in a matter of moments. He placed a hand on his shoulder. "Your father is searching for you. He demands that you find your sisters and find a place that will be safe should the city be attacked."

"Attacked?" the boy repeated. He seemed to have forgotten I was there. Legolas turned to go, and Bain woke from his daze. "Wait!"

The prince turned back, his eyes landing on me this time. There was no mistaking the panic and shock that covered his face, but an instant later his features were calm, even though his pallor was much paler than it had been a moment before. "What is she doing here?" he asked, his voice very, very controlled. His eyes darted around nervously, watching for his father.

"This is Amara," Bain stated. I wondered if he realized that this was my brother. Probably not, since he was still talking. "She was separated from her brother Leland, and I'm helping her find him. We were on our way to see my father and ask if he—"

Legolas shook his head. "No. Bard and Thranduil are in a private meeting, you cannot interrupt them."

"Of course I can," Bain said carelessly. He seemed to be taking great pride in remembering every detail about my story, something that he should not be doing even if we were around someone I felt threatened by; it would be too suspicious. "She's lost! I have to—"

"Oh for heaven's sake," I snapped, tugging my hand out of Bain's grip and moved to stand beside my brother. "Bain, this is Leland." Bain stopped speaking midsentence, staring at me in shock.

"Leland?" Legolas repeated. He still looked utterly shocked that I was standing in front of him.

"He's your—"

I nodded vigorously to shut him up. "Aye. This is my brother. His real name is Legolas. Thank you for helping me, Bain, but now you must listen to him. Go find your sisters. There is a war coming, and I don't want you to be in the middle of it."

"Aeyera, how do you know about this?" Legolas whispered. "And what are you doing here? If our father finds out—"

"_Your_ father," I snapped. "Not mine. I know because it's partially my fault, and I'm here for the same reason. I need to speak to you."

Bain finally picked up on the urgency in my voice and went to stand guard at the end of the tunnel. He wasn't doing a very good job, as he was trying to listen in on our conversation, but I ignored him, focusing instead on the matter at hand.

"You shouldn't be here. If he finds you—" Legolas tried again.

_"To hell with him!"_ I snapped, switching to my native tongue. I was too stressed, too irritated, to deal with men listening on my conversation as well as elves. Legolas seemed surprised, and I plowed on, taking advantage of his shock. _"Legolas, I wrote to Maladernil. I told him of what is about to happen. If all went according to plan, he will be arriving soon with an army of those loyal to us. To me."_

The shock on his face gave way to horror. _"What have you done?"_

_"Now is not the time to explain. Legolas, I must speak with you, the future of Middle Earth depends on it."_ As dramatic as it sounded, I realized as soon as the words left my mouth that they were true. If the elves attacked the mountain as they planned to, it would mean war: war against elves, men, and dwarves. And then, at the end of the battle when none but a few remained, the orcs would sweep through and annihilate the survivors and the east would fall to darkness. As long as I had breath in my lungs I would not allow that to happen.

He sighed, closing his eyes. My heart beat faster. If he refused to go with me, it would be a disaster. I would not choose between brothers when it came down to fighting, nor could I sit by as one attacked my betrothed as well as my friends. If he said no— _"Very well."_

I blinked. _"What?"_

He opened his eyes. _"I will listen. We must leave the city first. If Thranduil finds you…"_ he trailed off, but I noticed his jaw tense as if he were clenching his teeth, and his eyes hardened in anger. I nodded. I didn't need him to finish; I knew what was in store for me if we failed.

_"We need to meet Mithrandir at the citadel,"_ I said softly. _"If we try to leave the city now, we will be caught. Once it is dark, I will leave, but until then I am trapped here, which is why Mithrandir had us meet him up there,"_ I nodded at the tower.

He glanced up at it, and then at me, and then took my hand. _"Follow me."_

We plunged into the midst of the crowd and began making our way to the tower. None stopped us; no one would dare question the prince as to why he was comforting and walking with a small human girl. We made it to the citadel in less time that I thought it would take, and we raced up the steps until we reached the pinnacle. We really had chosen the best place to meet. There were windows on all sides, and walls as well, and we were high enough that we could see out but none could see in.

We sat on a long stone bench against the wall, watching the only door from which the wizard was sure to emerge, and began talking. I told my brother everything, not leaving out a single detail from the time I was captured by Thranduil—Legolas still did not know the extent of the injuries I had received there—to when he had found me minutes before. It took nearly an hour to do so, and by the end the wizard and bowman had still not arrived. Legolas asked few questions, mainly choosing to listen, but by the end he was clearly angry.

"How dare they betray you," he growled.

Before he could continue, I broke in. "It was only Thorin, Legolas, and he himself is not in his right mind. It was not his fault." His words and actions still hurt, though, and the bruises on my neck throbbed.

He stayed silent for nearly a minute, thinking. His next question startled me so badly I nearly fell of the bench. "Where were you, all those years?" he asked softly. When I didn't answer, he turned to look at me, startled by the panicked look I wore. "Aeyera?"

"I-I was—" I had to tell him. He didn't know. He knew I had a Morgul wound, but not how I had received it. I swallowed. "I was held captive and tortured in Dol Guldur for twenty years."

Legolas froze, his face draining of color. He looked terrified, horrified, and utterly broken. The instant the words left my lips I wished I could take them back, but I couldn't. He needed to know the truth. "What?" he whispered, his voice nearly as hoarse as mine was.

"Less that a fortnight after we separated, I was captured and taken to Dol Guldur. Azog the Defiler—" I swallowed again. My mouth had gone dry as I thought about how he would be here soon, looking to kill not only me, but also all whom I loved. "He tortured me. For years, he tortured me, till one day he stabbed me with a Morgul blade and left me for dead. The skin changer Beorn heard word from the birds that flew over the fortress that I was being held there. When the orcs emptied the fortress that day to go to Moria to prepare for the battle of Azanulbizar, he entered Dol Guldur and rescued me. It was thanks to him and to the Dúnedain that I healed. They passed by his lands, and he found them and asked for their help. They saved me. Maladernil found out about my rescue from a group of rangers passing through Lothlórien and immediately raced to my side. He remained with me until I was fully healed and only left when we reached the borders of Lorien because I could not bear to enter such a pure place when I myself was so tainted. We continued to see one another throughout the years, though. He will be a great king, one day."

Legolas, whose gaze had been fixated on my face as I spoke, started. "You wish for Maladernil to be king?"

"I know that you have never wanted that title," I answered carefully. "I know that you were not raised to be a king, while Maladernil was. He has been raised as the crown prince for thousands of years, whereas you have not. I believe that our older brother will make a kind and just king. I also believe that Thranduil's reign has become rotten and corrupted, much like the forest he resides in. It has been said that we reflect the state of our home, the Greenwood, but I often wonder if the Greenwood reflects our state. Our people, those who are pure of heart, have left the Greenwood. Only those who are loyal to Thranduil or are too afraid to stand against him remain. Our home has been twisted by fear and pain, Legolas. Is it not time for this to change?"

"And do you think that killing our father to place our brother on the throne would fix this?" he countered softly.

I sighed. Why did everyone think I wanted to kill Thranduil? His death, although it would dampen some fears about being found and tortured, would only cause more strife, and murder was one thing I refused to turn to. "No."

"Then why have you called our brother?"

"Because my betrothed is trapped inside the mountain. Azog rides for the mountain at the head of an army. Thorin has sent for Dain Ironfoot, who will arrive with his army at the rising of the sun. Thranduil plans to attack at dawn, and the people of Laketown fight alongside him. There can be no end to the battle if all one sees are enemies. What is needed is a common enemy, a common goal. Our people—the elves, men, and dwarves—need to see this. They need to band together and fight for the good of Middle Earth. This isn't about me, or Thranduil, or Maladernil. This is about our world. If they attack tomorrow—" I gestured to the windows, through which could be seen the mountain as well as the men and elves residing in Dale, "then all will be lost. Please understand, Legolas. Do I want a new king?" I thought for a moment. "Perhaps. I think that Thranduil is a tyrant and a bastard and that Middle Earth would be better off without him.

"However, I will not kill him. If he wishes to go to the Undying Lands, very well; then I will stay here with my family. But the Greenwood is no longer my home. Erebor is not my home. There is a saying that Arathorn once told me: home is where the heart is. I always thought of it as a place, but I have come to realize that it is family. My home is where Kili is. He is my betrothed, and where he goes, I go. I doubt that we will ever return to the Greenwood whether Maladernil is king or not. I know that if he is king, you will finally be free. I know how much you have longed for your freedom since Mother died."

"Answer the question, Aeyera," he chided me gently, cutting off my rambling. I hadn't realized how off topic I had gone. "Do you want to kill Thranduil?"

"No. There has been too much bloodshed already, and I will not kill my father, even if he has no right to call me that any more."

"Then why did you call forth an army?" Legolas pressed, searching my eyes for an answer that I was finally willing to give.

"Because I made a promise," I told him. "Long ago you watched a little girl rush to the air of a people who were not her own. That little girl grew up, but she still fights for them, she fights for her people. She promised that she would protect them with her life." I looked my brother in the eye. "And I intent to."  
"I will not let you die."

"I do not plan on dying."

"Few do."

"The army rides to stand between two opposing forces and keep them apart until the true threat is recognized. If we keep the elves, men, and dwarves apart long enough, they will see the orcs and turn on them instead of each other. Do you understand?"

"I think I do." Legolas and I looked up to see Bard and Gandalf standing in the doorway. From their stances, I guessed that they had been there a long time. Bard bowed his head. "Princess."

I smiled and rose, curtsying. I quickly rushed over and hugged him, hearing him laugh. "Bard, it is good to see you again."

"And you. I have heard what you said, and I agree. I will do all I can to keep my men from attacking. We need recompense, yes, but if what you say is true and the orcs plan on attacking, then the gold can wait."

I stepped away, noticing that the sun had sunk down behind the mountain. "You are wiser than Thorin, then," I told him.

He chuckled humorlessly. "The dwarf king is foolish," he replied, "caring only for gold."

"He is overcome by gold sickness," I replied. "My hope is that the coming battle will break the darkness' grip on him."

"I hope you are right."

"I am," I answered immediately. I had to make sure my point was across, though; I was out of time. "Thranduil will listen to no one. He will not believe that the orcs are coming; he will think it is a ploy to protect the dwarves. Be ready."

He nodded. "You have my word."

The sun then set, and darkness covered the land. "Come, Princess," Gandalf said, motioning for the door. "We must leave the city."

"Wait." I turned at the sound of Legolas's voice and stared at my brother, who was on his feet, glancing between Bard and I. I knew he was struggling. His whole life he was tried to make Thranduil proud, and now he was being asked to betray him. "I will come with you."

I stared at him in shock. "Really?"

He gave me a slight smile. "Really. I would see a better world, one with peace. I will stand by you and our brother to see that happen."

I nodded, so happy I could not speak.

"Let us be off, then," Gandalf urged as Legolas and I rushed from the room and out of the city. Although we were far away by the time he said them, hurrying down the aged stone steps, the wizard's words reached my ears and awakened a fire and a fear deep within my heart. "The last night is upon us, and come morning there will be a battle the likes of which has not been seen for an age."


	14. Chapter 14

Legolas and I rushed past the city walls, easily avoiding the guards. Night had fallen, and even from this distance I could see that the braziers at the mountain gate had been lit. The thought of the dwarves going to war, fighting against my people, being _killed_… Bile rose in my throat at the thought. I had experienced too much pain, too much death, to see them die as well. I could see elven archers posted in the shadows, aiming for the mountain, but nothing moved, and so they did not shoot.

As soon as I had retrieved my armor and weapons from beneath the bush outside the city, I led my brother towards the mountain. Thankfully, he did not question my decision to head towards the mountain, and we moved as silently as shadows across the rocky plain that stretched between Dale and Erebor. We headed straight towards the gate, and I was devoutly thankful that there were so many shadows to hide in; even a half-blind human would have been able to see us in the light of the moon that shone that night.

We reached an overhang a quarter mile from the gate and climbed up the opposite side to perch on top of it. From our vantage point, the entire valley was visible. I could see every archer, every peasant, and every rabbit that moved within or around Dale. Miles away, directly across from me, stood Ravenhill, a silent sentry. Nothing stirred there. Legolas and I moved back to rest in a stone hollow far enough from the ledge that we could not be seen.

"Maladernil should be here by morning," I yawned.

Legolas nodded absently, then stared at me in confusion. His dark blue eyes seemed to glow in the moonlight. "You're… tired?" he questioned, sounding shocked.

"Yes? Oh." I guess I hadn't told him about my giving up my immortality. "I forgot to tell you, didn't I?"

His expression turned dangerous as his eyebrows furrowed together. "Tell me what?"

I took a deep breath. "When Kili proposed to me, I… I chose a mortal life." His eyes widened in shock. "He did not ask me to do this, Legolas. I chose it."

"Aeyera, if he dies tomorrow—" he began, sounding pained. He picked up a stone from the ground and gripped it tightly in his fist, his knuckles turning white. I could imagine how he felt, facing the very real possibility that he would lose someone he loved. I had lost so many friends, and although I had no younger siblings as he did, I could imagine losing someone I had sworn to protect: Kili, Fili, and Thorin. To have sworn to protect someone… it was a need, a drive that engulfed your soul, the core of your being. I had it. It was why I was willing to do the things I had, the things I was going to do.

It was different for Legolas though. If I failed to protect my betrothed and his family, it would be because I had fallen protecting them, and my promise would be fulfilled. Legolas had promised our mother that he would keep me safe, that he would protect me, and he had failed. He had failed many times over, and though he hadn't known I was in danger, he still was anguished at the thought that he had broken his promise. He was trying to make up for it now by keeping me from the battle, making me see the consequences of my actions. He didn't seem to realize that I would suffer the same crushing guilt and pain that he did should I desert the ones I had sworn to protect.

"If he dies tomorrow, it will mean that I had already fallen," I cut him off gently, placing my cold hand on his arm. I spoke as quietly as I could; I had no desire for a dwarf or elf to hear me and go running to Thranduil to turn us in. "I will protect him with my life. I dearly hope it will not come to that, that something will happen to make null the battle before it begins, but… if worst comes to worst, I will fight and fall for him. I would do anything for him."

"Even giving up your immortality. Aeyera—"

"Without him, I will die anyway," I snapped, losing my temper. I kept my voice low as I scrambled to sit on my knees, my hands on my hips. "Legolas, do you know where I was when Mithrandir found me to ask me to join this quest?" he shook his head. His eyes were shadowed. "I was on my way to the Grey Havens, but he stopped me and asked me to join the company. I was dying, and I knew it, but I went with the company to fulfill my debt. I believe that the Valar saw this and chose to heal me so that I might see the quest through, so that I might save Kili. He means everything to me, Legolas. Without him I would be dead a hundred times over, and if he falls, my heart falls with him. If…" I swallowed. "If Tauriel were to fall tomorrow," his blue eyes widened in shock, and I could see my own pain mirrored back at me, "how would you feel?"

"I would be devastated," he murmured. "Heartbroken."

"And you are not betrothed to her like I am to Kili," I told him softly, sitting back and leaning my head against his shoulder. "Kili will be my husband when the battle is over. I will not leave him, and I do not regret choosing a mortal life to be with him. If giving up your immortality was the only was to be with Tauriel, would you do it?" He nodded without hesitation. "Do you understand, then?"

"I do." He took my hands in his as the wind grew colder. "I understand. But you must understand also that I promised our mother that I would take care of you, and I have failed."

"You have not failed, Legolas. You saved me from the orcs when we were attacked, without you I would be dead."

"And I left you after you were exiled. I left you, and you were tortured and alone, and then I allowed you out of my sight so that Thranduil might hurt you. I failed, Aeyera." He placed his hand on the back on my head. "I'm so sorry."

"You have not failed, brother. I chose to leave you. I chose to stand up to Thranduil. None of what happened was your fault. Had you kept me with you, my imprisonment at Thranduil's hands would only have come that much sooner."

"But if I had not tried to stop you from helping the dwarves, you would have gone on with Aicanar to Rivendell, safe, or perhaps gone to Lothlórien to be with Maladernil. Or perhaps—"

I touched my finger to his lips. "Hush, Legolas. You must not dwell on the past. What had happened cannot be changed, and there is no need to focus on something that brings only pain. We do not know what the future holds, only that we each have a choice. I have made mine. I will stand with Maladernil to protect my family within the mountain. I will fight until the battle is won or until I fall." He winced. "Legolas. You have a choice as well. You can stand with me or with your father." My tone made my meaning clear. _Your _father, not mine. If you choose him, you will not be in my good graces, and although I will always love you as my brother, I will never trust you, and you will never see me again.

I yawned again, and he grew concerned. I wondered if he purposefully took this opportunity to avoid my question. "You must rest. When did you last sleep?"

I tried to think back as my eyelids drooped closed. "Two days ago, I believe." I yawned again and curled up beside my brother. He wrapped his cloak around me and held me tighter, his warmth seeping into my skin through my thin tunic.

"Rest, little sister," he whispered, kissing my temple gently. "When Maladernil arrives, I will wake you."

I nodded, my eyes drifting shut. The last thing I saw was my brother's face as he stared up into the sky, his eyes swirling with emotion. My last thought: _please choose me._

It seemed like moments had passed when someone began to shake me awake. "Aeyera. Sister, wake up. He's here."

My eyes snapped open, and I sat up quickly. The sun had not yet risen, but the moon had long since set. Legolas had his hand on my shoulder, shaking me gently. I wondered if he had ever had to wake someone up before. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, then looked around. Maladernil and his army were approaching from behind, ensuring that they would not be seen before I was ready to reveal them. My brother rode at the army's head, a golden eagle perched upon his shoulder. All of the elves were on horseback, and there were two white horses without riders that ran next to my brother.

I stood, watching in disbelief as they came closer, then snapped out of my shock as a grin spread across my face. Feeling as though I were dreaming, I moved out from behind the outcropping and rushed forward. The army stood still, the only sound the horses' stamping and neighing. I stood still, my eyes on my brother. He stared at me, astonished, before a joyous smile appeared on his timeless face. He leapt from his horse and sped forward as soon as his feet touched the ground, the eagle moving from its perch. Before I knew it I was running as well.

When we reached each other, I ran straight into his arms, and he lifted me into the air with a laugh. He held me close, arms around my waist and a hand on my hair. My feet couldn't touch the ground, but I had wrapped my knees around him to keep from falling off, my arms around his neck. It had been decades since I had last seen him. I had missed him so, so much, and now he was here. He was _here._

He set me back on my feet and drew something out of his side pouch: Legolas's ring. I look it gently and slid it back onto my finger. _"Thank you,"_ I whispered.

He smiled softly at me, green eyes glinting in the starlight. _"You are welcome, baby sister. Anything for you." _He lifted his head, looking past me, and his smiled grew wider. I didn't have to look to know that Legolas had moved to stand behind me. Maladernil moved past me, and the brothers embraced, gripping each other tightly. They had not seen each other in two hundred years, I realized. Thranduil had kept them apart. Their hug broke, and the three of us stood facing one another, enjoying each other's presence for a few moments.

Maladernil spread his arms wide. For the first time I noticed the white-gold crown that glinted on his forehead and the pale silver cloak he wore that resembled moonlight. I realized in that moment that this battle was more than a battle for the mountain. The people had chosen their king, and they fought for him and for his place upon the throne. They would not kill Thranduil; no, it stood against all that we were to kill another elf. They wanted to prove that Maladernil was the rightful king, to remind their brothers and sisters of the tyrant Thranduil was. However, I knew also that they fought first for me, and that they would put aside their prejudices until the battle was won. _"Your army has come, Celebhiril. What would you have us do?"_

I turned to face the army and smiled when I saw Aicanar and Gwenithil on the front line, riding beside one another. I spoke clearly, no longer caring if any elves in Thranduil's army heard me. They had heard the horses approaching already. _"My friends," _I began, standing tall. _"I stand before you an exile. I am no more than you; not a princess, not a soldier… I am one who has lost everything, and who has also found it." _I swallowed. _"I am engaged to be married. My betrothed is inside the mountain. I fight for him. Thorin Oakenshield is one whom we all have fought for, once. He needs us again, though he does not know it. The sickness within the mountain has stolen his mind, and he has all but declared war. Should he choose to fight, there will be a slaughter. Thranduil does not know it yet, but an army of dwarves led by Dain Ironfoot is nearly here. They come to defend Thorin but know not of his sickness. The dwarves and the elves of Mirkwood hate one another. They have not made amends as we have; there will be a bloodbath if we cannot stop it. The men of Dale will join the elves and be slaughtered. They want only the gold that is promised them to rebuild their lives." _

I paused. _"I called you because of who you are. You are the elves of the Greenwood of old, warriors who have defended our land from darkness for centuries. You are not biased and prejudiced like Thranduil and his people are. You fought for the dwarves in their hour of need, not once, but twice. You followed me once when I was a child. You followed me into battle against a dragon, and although I was dragged from the fight, you fought on. _

_ I call on you one last time to defend the dwarves, but more than that, to defend Middle Earth." _I swallowed. _"Azog the Defiler marches on the mountain. He plans to catch us unawares. I will _not _let that happen. We must delay the battle; keep the dwarves and elves from attacking. If they fight, Azog will wait until there are few or none left and then seize the mountain. I have seen firsthand the darkness that dwells within Dol Guldur. It is no mere Necromancer, but the soul of Sauron the Deceiver. He is in league with Azog, and if this mountain is taken, the east will fall as well. The Greenwood. Lothlórien. Gondor. Rohan. All will fall." _

I turned to those whom I knew had fought against Sauron ages before. Their faces were pale but determined. They would not allow Middle Earth to fall; I knew it._ "I ask you to fight. Not for me, not for yourselves, but for the future of Middle Earth. Will you fight with me?"_

As one, the army drew their swords. The sound of a thousand blades leaving their sheathes rang through the night. The starlight glinted off the swords as they pointed towards the sky. They would fight. Maladernil turned to me with a smile. _"We are the royal family. They are loyal to us." _He called his horse forward and pulled a pack from the saddle. He opened it and removed two matching bundles. He handed one to me and one to Legolas. _"I thought you'd come around," _he told our brother, clapping him on the shoulder. I unfolded the bundle, revealing it to be a light silver cloak like Maladernil's, with a chainmail shirt and an intricate, white gold circlet within it. Maladernil removed the crown and gently placed it upon my head.

_"You were wrong," _he told me softly. _"You are a princess. You always were, and you always will be." _

I nodded, my throat too tight to speak, as my brother moved to place Legolas's crown upon his head. Legolas gazed at me for a moment before speaking. _"Where will we go?"_

_"We must stand between the elves and dwarves, but far enough from the gates that the dwarves cannot hit any of us with an arrow."_

_"You said your betrothed was within the mountain," _Maladernil reminded me. _"Will he not stand up for you? Keep Thorin from attacking?"_

_"He is Thorin's nephew."_ Maladernil's eyebrows rose in surprise. _"And he has tried. He and his brother have both tried their utmost to make Thorin see sense. It is thanks to them that I was able to escape. I fear—I fear that Kili will think I am betraying him." _

_ "Why?"_

_ "Because I am leading an army to the gates of Erebor," _I answered with a sharp laugh, trying to force my emotions down._ "Because I am with the elves and not with him. I am afraid, Maladernil. I have seen this battle a hundred times over. I have changed the outcome by bringing you here; I can only hope that the future has been changed for the better. I must believe that good will win the day; that Azog will be defeated once and for all. I will not allow Middle Earth to fall."_

_ "And it will not. We will win this battle; and, Eru willing, your fiancé will not feel betrayed. He will understand your actions and what they cost you. He will love you still, and when the battle is over you will be married."_

_ "Will you hand me off?" _I asked suddenly. _"At my wedding, will you give my hand to him? You are my brother. You and Legolas are the only family I have left. I would be honored if you would do this."_

Maladernil nodded his head, humbled. _"I would be honored, little sister." _He pressed his lips to my temple. _"First we must win the battle."_

I armed myself as Maladernil directed the army into the valley. I hid behind the boulder and stripped, then donned the leather undergarments to protect from the silver chainmail before donning the mail and the rest of my armor. Throwing knives were hidden in various places in my armor and boots. I swung the new cloak across my shoulders and fastened its white gold clasp, adjusting it to make my weapons easy to reach. I strapped my knives to my back and my sword belt to my hips, sheathing the blade as I did so. I strapped my quiver to my chest, tightening the straps, and tied my bow to it.

At the end, I stared at the circlet I had removed to dress. It rested in my hands, glinting in the starlight. It had been built to be worn into battle, to stay on one's head even when moving around and fighting. It was meant for a warrior. I replaced the circlet, allowing it to rest on my head once more. My clothes and old cloak were tucked inside my pack, which rested against the boulder, useless.

It was strange. I was not used to wearing a crown, not used to claiming my title. But now… it felt right. I had spent so long running from whom I was; trying to be someone else… maybe this was who I was meant to be. A princess, not an exile. A warrior, not a coward.

Legolas appeared around the corner of the stone, fully armed. The armor shone in the starlight. _"Are you ready?" _he asked me. The sky began to lighten as the sun prepared to rise, and I took a deep breath as fear threatened to overcome me.

_"I'm terrified," _I whispered. Legolas pulled me into his arms as mine went around his chest. We stood there as the clouds turned pink and gold and the sky grew bright, darkness burned away by the light of the sun.

_"Do not fear, Aeyera," _he murmured, resting his chin on my head. _"You fight for your family, and for your world. You fight alongside your brothers who love you. We will win the battle, should there be one at all. You need not fear, little sister. I will not let any harm come to you."_

_ "Nor I." _I looked up to see Maladernil standing against the stone. He pushed off and placed his hands on Legolas's shoulder, then on mine. _"We fight for you." _He looked out over Dale, squinting slightly. _"Dawn is breaking. We must be swift." _He looked down on me with smiling green eyes: my eyes. My mother's eyes. _"Fight hard, little sister."_

I nodded, mouth dry. _"I will."_

_ "Then let us ride together one more time."_

Legolas, Maladernil, and I turned and made our way into the valley and onto our horses, our backs to the mountain and our faces turned towards the rising sun as Thranduil's army began to descend from Dale. My brother and I, and our army, stood as the final defense between the armies of Thranduil and Azog and of the dwarves. I could only pray that we were enough.


	15. Chapter 15

Thranduil's army grew closer and closer as the sun inched its way above the horizon. I could hear the dwarves gathering on the wall behind us, muttering about our army. Maladernil took my trembling hand and squeezed it gently. I rode on his left, Legolas on his right. I had my hood up; I had no desire for Thorin to become a raving mess when he saw whom it was that led the army on his doorstep. Thranduil's army moved until it was an arrowshot away before halting. I could see Thranduil's sneer, his glare as he gazed across the field of battle at his three children. He had wronged all of us, and we all stood in defiance against him now. His soldiers muttered amongst themselves, glancing between their king and their princes and princess. I wondered whom they were really loyal to.

Bard and Thranduil rode through the midst of the army. They stopped before us, eyeing us warily. Bard sat upon his white horse, straight backed and regal. He wanted only to protect his people, nothing more. Thranduil glared at us from atop his hart, blue eyes burning with rage. I stared back calmly. He couldn't hurt me anymore.

Maladernil nodded, telling me without words to move forward. I was the leader here, the spokesperson, if you will. Maladernil was the general; Legolas, the advisor. "Bard, what is your business here?"

"We come to bargain with the King Under the Mountain," he said, eyes flickering from me to my brothers. My eyes were drawn to a bulge in his breast pocket, and my stomach dropped. Bilbo…

"What could you have that he would want?" I asked, trying desperately to keep my voice steady. Please, please let me be wrong… if Bilbo had chosen _now _of all times to give Bard the stone, _right_ after I had left… all fingers would point to me as the thief. And while I had no wish for Thorin to, say, throw Bilbo from the ramparts, I also had no wish for my betrothed to think I truly had betrayed him.

"If you would allow us to pass, you would see," he answered, stoic. I had a feeling that he was being cool towards me on purpose, to stay on Thranduil's good side for now. I wondered if he knew of the relationship between Thranduil and I. Had he seen my back? My scars? Heard my story?

I lifted my arm and smiled at the sound of the elves behind me parting, leaving a path for me. I turned to my brothers. _"Do not move. If something should go wrong…" _I trailed off, and my brothers nodded. It was clear they didn't agree with what I was about to do, but they needed to stay on the front lines. I turned and nudged my horse forward, leading Bard and Thranduil forward. When we reached the gate, I moved to ride beside Bard, staring up at the mountain. My hood remained upon my head, covering my hair and casting a shadow over my face.

Thorin stared down at us. The sneer upon his face rivaled Thranduil's. Without warning he pulled out a bow and released the arrow nocked upon it. It struck against the ground at the hooves of Thranduil's elk, and the Elvenking glared up at the dwarf, a murderous look in his eyes. I turned back to Thorin in disbelief. Would he not even _consider_ peace?

"I will put the next one between your eyes," he bellowed, aiming once more.

The dwarves began to cheer, and Thranduil gave a nearly imperceptible signal to his army. As one, the elves drew their bows and placed arrows upon the strings, aiming for the gate. The dwarves, except for Thorin, ducked behind the wall. The two kings stared at one another. I held my breath, frozen. I couldn't protect them against arrows. After an eternity, Thranduil, a smirk upon his face, made his army stand down and sheathe their weapons.

He stared up at Thorin as ice grew in the pit of my stomach. "We've come to tell you: payment of your debt has been offered," he smirked, "and accepted."

The rest of the dwarves rose to their feet. Thorin's bow remained drawn in his hands. I could see them shaking. Kili stood at Thorin's left, and I could see the confusion and fear upon his face. "What payment? I gave you nothing. You have _nothing_."

Bard, looking just a bit guilty, reached into his vest pocket and removed the Arkenstone. He held it up for all to see, and I closed my eyes, dreading what was to come. "We have this."

Kili spoke then, and his voice prompted me to open my eyes. He looked horrified, completely confused as to how this could have happened. Thorin had lowered his bow, staring at the stone as if in a trance. "They have the Arkenstone. Thieves! How came you by the heirloom of our house? That stone belongs to the king."

At that moment, a burst of wind hit, blowing back Thranduil's hair and whipping my hood back away from my face. Bard did not notice. "The King may have it," he tossed the stone into the air, "with our good will." He replaced it, returning it to its spot in his pocket, and looked up at Thorin, glowering at him. "But first he must honor his word."

"You," Thorin spat, turning his eyes on me. I sat frozen upon my horse, hands gripping the reins to tightly they went numb. I couldn't think. "You did this. You are a snake. You wormed your way into my good will, into my presence, ensnaring my nephew as well! Did you think you could worm your way into his bed? That you could make him trust you? Love you? Do you see her, Nephew? She is a liar, a snake. She never loved you. It was all a trick, all a trick to get the Arkenstone."

I stared openmouthed at Thorin as tears of disbelief burned my eyes, then turned to Kili as I shook my head, trying without words to convey that it wasn't me, that Thorin was insane, lying, wrong—

Kili stared at me in shock, horror, and, worst of all, _anger_. He thought _I _had given the Arkenstone to Bard. He thought I had betrayed him. He believed Thorin. He despised me. In that moment, my heart shattered. The look of hate he gave me broke me, and tears rolled down my cheeks. A presence on my right drew my attention, and I looked over to see Maladernil beside me. He took my hand, squeezing it gently.

_"Take courage."_

"They're taking us for fools." A knowing smile broke on Thorin's face, and it terrified me. "This is a ruse; a filthy lie." He turned back to us, snarling. "The Arkenstone is in this mountain; your spy wouldn't have had the will to take it from me. It is a trick!"

At that moment, Bilbo stepped up. "I-it's no trick." Thorin's face went slack. "The stone is real. _I_ gave it to them. Aeyera has nothing to do with it."

Thorin turned to face the hobbit, and even from this distance I could see the anger on his face fade to betrayal. Kili's look of hatred faded to confusion. Thranduil and Bard turned to stare at me, shock and worry on their faces. Clearly they hadn't thought the hobbit would give himself up. "You?"

"I took it as my fourteenth share," Bilbo told him. My mind whirled, trying to think of a way to save him.

The king's voice had dropped to a near whisper, and I could see the tears in his eyes. Was Bilbo breaking through to him? "You would steal from me?"

I could see the slight smile on Bilbo's face, and a bolt of fear flashed through me as I realized that Bilbo still thought himself safe. He didn't believe that Thorin would hurt him. "Steal from you? No, no. I may be a burglar, but I like to think I'm an honest one. I'm willing to let it stand against my claim."

A mad smile appeared on Thorin's face. "Against your claim?" He chuckled darkly. "Your claim," he repeated, the smile falling from his face. A truly terrible look replaced it, and I leaned forward, helpless, as his growl grew to a shout and he threw down his bow with a _clang_. "You have no claim over me, you miserable rat!"

Bilbo stepped back. I could still see them from where I was, but I could see no way of reaching them and saving Bilbo, save shooting Thorin, which I could not do. "I was going to give it to you. Many times I wanted to, but..."

"But what, _thief_?" Thorin growled.

Bilbo's stance changed as his voice grew more powerful, more sure. "You are changed, Thorin. Aeyera was right when she told me of the sickness here, how it has corrupted your mind. The Dwarf I met in Bag End would never have gone back on his word, would never have doubted the loyalty of either Aeyera or of his kin."

Thorin gritted his teeth. "Do not speak to me of loyalty." He stood for a moment, unmoving, as if not sure what way to turn. When next he spoke, it felt as if lightning had struck me. "Throw him from the rampart!"

"NO!" I screamed.

None of the dwarves moved but stared at Thorin in disbelief, refusing to carry out his order. "Did you not hear me?!" he screamed, lunging forward and seizing Fili, intent on dragging him forward and forcing him to obey. The prince wrenched himself away, and the others covered him. Kili stared at his uncle, looking sick, as Thorin turned to Bilbo, who hadn't moved. "I will do it myself." He rushed forward and grabbed him, wrestling him towards the wall. "I curse you!"

The rest of the company surged forward, fighting to get Bilbo away from the deranged dwarf. "No!" Fili yelled.

Thorin continued. "Cursed be the wizard that forced you on this company!"

"If you don't like my burglar, then please, don't damage him; return him to me." The wizard in question appeared beside me, his words cutting off Thorin's. His voice was magically magnified to reach all who stood before and in the mountain, and he looked as angry as ever I had seen him. Thorin froze. Bilbo was pinned under him, shaking and gasping for breath, struggling to free himself. I turned to face the wizard, helpless. "You're not making a very splendid figure as King Under the Mountain, are you, Thorin, son of Thrain?"

As if in a trance—perhaps he was, I did not know—Thorin loosed his hold on the hobbit. Bilbo slipped out of sight, but I could see Fili and Bofur move along the wall, hunched over as if protecting someone.

"Never again will I have dealings with wizards!" Thorin bellowed, "Or Shire rats!"

A rope appeared, falling down the wall, and then Bilbo appeared, shimmying down it as quickly as he could. In a minute he had reached the ground, and in a flash I had dismounted and rushed to him, hugging him tightly. We both were shaking, but mine was more anger than fear. I turned to face the mountain and pushed Bilbo towards Gandalf.

"Go," I told him.

He gripped my hand. "You cannot go up there."

"Watch me."

"No!"

Bard spoke, talking over Bilbo. "Are we resolved? The return of the Arkenstone, for what was promised."

Thorin, breathing heavily, gazed silently out over the horizon, towards the sun. Everything was silent but the whistling of the wind. Kili's gaze locked on mine. His eyes were filled with hurt and guilt. Guilt for thinking I had betrayed him. For looking at me the way he had. Guilt that everything had turned out the way it did.

Bard urged Thorin on. "Give us your answer." All eyes moved to Thorin. Every creature seemed to hold its breath. "Will you have peace or war?"

An enormous raven fluttered down and landed upon the ramparts, cawing and crooning. Thorin gazed at the bird, eyes wide with some twisted hope, and then turned back to the sun. I had forgotten something important. The sound of heavy footsteps finally reached my ears. _No. _ "I will have _war_."

I turned and rushed to my horse, mounting quickly as Bilbo rushed to stand beside Gandalf. The dwarf army appeared at the top of the hill. "Ironfoot," Gandalf muttered. Maladernil and I rode forward to join Legolas.

"Dain! Dain! Dain!" The company cheered. I felt sick.

Thranduil commanded his army of Elves to march towards Dain's army, and mine moved to better guard the gates. The frigid wind blew my hair back from my face and stung my cheeks, but I could barely feel the cold past the ache in my heart.

I could still see Kili's look of hatred, feel the anger and confusion that radiated from him as the wind had blown back my hood and Bard had pulled the Arkenstone from his pocket. He didn't understand that I did it to protect him, but it did not matter. If I lived past this day, I would explain. Until then, I would fight for him as I always had.

_"Do not despair, Aeyera." _I looked up to find Maladernil's eyes already on me. _"We will not lose this battle." _

_ "I had hoped there might not be one," _I murmured. Dain's army grew closer. My army stood between Thranduil and the gates of Erebor, protecting the dwarves within the mountain. My brothers acted as sentinels on either side of me. Every sword we possessed was either in our hands or loosened in its sheathe. My brothers and I wore circlets of white gold and cloaks of bright silver to distinguish the royal family from the others, who wore no crowns and had donned cloaks of green or brown. All the elves present were here because of their love for my brothers and I, and they wanted to be able to tell us apart easily in battle.

_"I am afraid that the dwarves have built for themselves a cage they cannot easily escape from, my lady," _Gwenithil spoke softly. She was here to fight, to my surprise. I hoped desperately that nothing happened to her; it would break my heart if something happened to her or Aicanar.

_"It is their king who had trapped them," _Legolas said to us, turning to face us. His cloak and hair whipped around in the wind.

_"His mind has been taken," _I called, keeping my eyes straight ahead. _"His actions are not his own, and although I despise what he has become, he was once my friend, and I hold onto the hope that the Thorin I once knew and served will return."_

_ "It may be too late for that, Celebhiril," _Aicanar said softly.

_"I hope not."_

By this time, Dain and his warriors had moved to stand before my father's army. I could hear the exchange clearly, and despite the ache in my heart I couldn't help but grin as I listened to the older dwarf insult Thranduil. A certain red-haired she-elf caught my eye from amongst Thranduil's soldiers, and I smiled to see that she was grinning as well.

Dain called out in the common tongue, riding his boar to the front of the army. "Good morning! How are we all? I have a wee proposition, if you wouldn't mind giving me a few moments of your time. Would you consider..." his voice lifted to a roar. "Just sodding off?!" The men of Laketown began to pull back in fear, but the elves on both sides stood firm. They seemed calm, relaxed. "All of you! Right now!" If nothing else, his courage and spirit were to be admired. I did not respect him as much as I might have, for I remembered how he had refused to help Thorin retake the mountain, but I respected the loyalty he held for his kin.

Bard looked around at his men, whose courage was quickly dissolving beneath the withering gaze of the dwarf king before them. "Stand fast!"

Gandalf began striding through the men and elves towards the dwarves, Bilbo at his heels. He seemed angry, and very displeased that Dain had arrived here at all. All the same, he greeted the king respectfully, trying to reason with him. "Come now, Lord Dain."

The dwarf king eyed the wizard suspiciously, recognizing him but not trusting him. He seemed to respect him though, since he didn't outright threaten him. "Gandalf the Grey. Tell this rabble to leave, or I'll water the ground with their blood."

"There is no need for war between Dwarves, Men and Elves," Gandalf shot back, glancing around at the pale faced men surrounding him. "A legion of Orcs march on the mountain. Stand your army down."

"I will not stand down before any elf. Not least this faithless woodland sprite." I nearly laughed despite how dire the situation was, and a smile appeared on Maladernil's lips. "He wishes nothing but ill upon my people. If he chooses to stand between me and my kin, I'll split his pretty head open! See if he's still smirking then."

Thranduil glanced around at his soldiers, uncomfortable. Many of the elves under his command were shifting, glancing over at my army. The ones under Tauriel's command were actually moving towards us. I had no doubt that many of them recognized friends or family, and I wondered how many would stay with my father if they were given the choice. "He's clearly mad, like his cousin."

"You hear that, lads? We're on! Let's give these bastards a good hammering!" He ordered his army to prepare themselves, and they began to fall into formation. I am quite certain that all would have been lost had they attacked, but at that moment the sound of an orc horn split the air, and each of the four armies froze.

At the top of the ridge, a black line appeared, partially hidden by the morning mist. I could hear the marching footsteps of thousands of orcs and goblins. Above them a dark mass gathered, twisting and swirling as though alive. Another glance showed that it was, in fact, alive: it was a cloud made up of thousands of bats, thirsting for blood.

_"Stand firm," _Maladernil echoed Bard's order; not for our army, but for the men, who had frozen with fear.

Azog appeared, and even from this distance it was as though he stared straight at me, straight _through _me. I shuddered, and Maladernil laid a protective hand on my shoulder. _"Stand firm," _he repeated softly. _"Take heart."_

The orc bellowed something in his foul tongue and his army began to surge forward.

"The Hordes of Hell are upon us! To battle! To battle, sons of Durin!" Dain's army started forward, marching to meet the orcs that raced towards them. As I turned my horse around to head them off, I heard a commotion from atop the wall. I looked up to see Kili's eyes on me.

"I'm going over the wall, who's coming with me?" Kili started towards the rope. His eyes burned with courage. He wanted to protect me, to fight for me. I almost wept.

"Aye!" The other dwarves moved forward, following the princes. "Yes!"

"Come on, let's go," Fili ordered.

"Stand down."

My hope turned to disbelief. Surely he wasn't serious. The company turned to stare at him. My brothers rode up beside me.

The crown prince stared at Thorin in shock and anger. "What? Are we to do nothing?"

His uncle all but spat his answer before turned and disappearing from view. "I said stand down!"

I looked back at the battle to see that the distance between the orcs and dwarves was closing rapidly. Thranduil's army was not moving. _"To war!" _Maladernil's battle cry rang through the air, and I rode beside he and Legolas as we began galloping towards the incoming armies. The dwarves stopped and ducked down, forming a wall of shields.

_"We won't make it," _I gasped, staring in horror at the dwarves who were standing alone against the orcs. A voice—Bilbo's voice—echoed in my mind. _'I know that Dwarves can be obstinate and pigheaded and difficult. And suspicious and secretive, with the worst manners you can possibly imagine, but they are also brave and kind and loyal to a fault. I've grown very fond of them, and I would save them if I can.'_ I wondered when he spoke these words, as I had never heard them before, and I wondered if my sight was growing stronger, showing the past as well as the future.

As I stared at the army, Bilbo's words ringing in my head, a sudden flash of sunlight on metal startled me. I gazed in awe, elation building within my chest, at the sight of Tauriel's soldiers, my people, leaping over the dwarf wall to defend them. I let out a joyous whoop and laughed at the look of horror on Thranduil's face. We drew closer to the battlefront, and my chest tightened.

_"This could be my last day,"_ I said to Aicanar, speaking over the wind.

_"Well then,"_ he answered, glancing over at me with a grin. His wife rode on his right, her dark hair blowing back in the wind. I was reminded of Kili and how he and I would always fight side by side, no matter what. My heart ached for him: I missed him so much. _"You'd better make it count."_


	16. Chapter 16

Within moments, the armies clashed. As soon as the elves were clear of them, the dwarves leapt up to fight alongside Thranduil's army, axes ringing against enemy shields. Their war cries filled the air, mingling with the shrieks of the orcs. If the dwarves were surprised with the sudden turn of events, they didn't show it, but instead fought on with more ferocity than ever.

_"Aeyera, pull right!" _Maladernil's clear voice cut through the sounds of battle. I looked round at him, spitting the hair that the winter wind seemed intent on blinding me with out of my mouth. _"Hit their flank."_

I nodded and urged my mare forward, cutting around the side of the army. I stood in the saddle, my heart beating in time with the pounding of my horse's strides. With a roar, I hit the enemy flank, swinging my sword and cutting a path through the goblin ranks. The rest of my army followed at my heels, fighting with silent determination. My brothers fought on either side of me, and we waded through the orc army, cutting down all who crossed us.

A thought occurred to me, suddenly making me very glad that Thorin was refusing to allow anyone to leave the mountain. If he had allowed his nephews to join the fight, I would have to worry about them. As it was, I could concentrate fully on the battle. And so I did.

I focused only on fighting, defending my people against my enemies. Having a horse was a tremendous advantage. I had the high ground, and because of the sheer number of my people, no orc remained alive long enough to try and attack the horse, not with a sword coming at them. Any who lost their footing were quickly trampled underfoot. We fought hard, driving the enemy back, and for a while I thought we were winning.

In a brief lull, I surveyed the battlefield. Countless bodies littered the ground, most of them orcs. Some dwarves lay among them, as well as men. What broke my heart were the elves who lay unmoving upon the blood soaked earth. We didn't have a chance at an afterlife because our life was so long. My kin—they had followed me here. And they were gone.

The sky grew overcast, the air frigid. I looked up, reining my horse in, and froze. Azog stood upon the hill, and behind him was the remainder of his army. Many were mounted upon wargs. The pale orc leered at me and shouted a command in black speech, sending his soldiers racing down the hillside towards us.

_"Maladernil—"_

_ "I see them," _he cut me off and glanced around, countenance hardening. His horse moved restlessly, champing against the bit. Black blood spattered its sides, and its flanks were flecked with foam. _"Hold your ground!"_

Our armies began to mass together, neither gaining nor losing ground, until the next wave of orcs hit. These had wolves that could tear into the horses and put the orcs on the same level as we were. I fought without mercy. Kili was within the mountain. I would not let him fall.

I was doing very well—Legolas and I were keeping count, I was at thirty-seven— until a warg came out of nowhere and slammed into my horse, sending her reeling back. I yelled and tried to hold on, but a moment later I found myself on my back in the blood soaked dirt, gasping for breath. Despite the cold, I was drenched in sweat. I picked up my sword and scrambled to my feet, weighed down by my armor. Not a moment too soon, for a blade swung out of nowhere and hit my back, sending me stumbling forward onto my knees. Thankfully whatever had hit me was a lousy shot, for the blade did not pierce my armor. I turned and lunged at the creature, a large orc covered in back blood. It jeered at me as it attacked, and our blades clashed with a screech. There was no beauty in these creatures, no design in the way they fought. They were chaos, filth. They fought only to kill, hacking away to bring about as much suffering as they could.

As I reared back to deal it a fatal blow, the creature froze, tensed, and collapsed. The shaft of an arrow protruded from its back. I stared at it for a moment, and then looked up in time to see Legolas riding like the wind towards me. He nodded at the saddle, his intentions clear. Right as he reached me I threw myself forward and grabbed the horse's reins, then used my momentum to swing myself around the front of the horse and back up into the saddle behind my brother. I grinned as I wrapped one arm around my brother's chest; I'd had no idea if that would work or not, but I was beyond grateful that it had. Legolas reined the horse in and began riding back to the rear of the line as I used my bow to shoot down as many orcs as I could, hitting my mark every time.

_"Thirty-eight. Thirty-nine. Forty—"_

_ "You're cheating."_

_ "I am not!" _

We joined Maladernil as he called the retreat, sounding the call on his horn. _"We cannot hold them," _he panted. Black blood spattered his armor and cloak. _"We're spread too thin."_

_ "Regroup at the base of the mountain!" _I shouted. The elves began to fall back, still fighting, and make their way to the gates of Erebor. _"Pull back!"_

I rode with Legolas, gripping his waist as we rode. When we reached the mountain, I dismounted and held my ground, fighting alongside Legolas. Tauriel appeared from nowhere, slashing an orc's throat when he got too close.

_"It's good to see you again, Princess," _she called over the din.

I parried a blow meant for my throat and plunged my other knife into the orc's gut. Forty-one. _"And you as well."_

_ "We're losing ground, Milady." _One of Thranduil's soldiers appeared beside me. _"What should we do?"_

_ "Is Thranduil not commanding his own army?" _I asked sharply, slicing through the tendons in a goblin's shoulder and sticking the other blade in its neck. Forty-two. _"What are your orders?"_

_ "To retreat, Milady. To abandon all of you to death. We stayed." _

I glanced over at him, suddenly recognizing him. He was one of the stable hands I knew as a child. _"Avelain?"_

He smiled grimly, brandishing his sword and disarming an enemy before finishing him off. _"Aye. It is good to see you again, Princess."_

_ "And you. What are your orders?"_

I looked around. A bubble of sorts had formed around me; it seemed that all enemies had either been taken out or were otherwise occupied. I had a few moments' respite, and I turned to Maladernil. _"Brother, you have been in more battles than I. How do we best defend the mountain?"_

_ "It would be best if those within it would join us," _the general panted, finishing off his opponent with a yell. _"Instead of cowering like dogs behind their wall." _

_ "It is not—"_

He cut me off. _"But seeing as how that isn't going to happen any time soon, I say that we should form a half circle in front of the gates; pack the edges, make them thicker than the center. Form a living wall and let none pass. Spread the word, Avelain. Go!"_

The soldier nodded and darted off. More quickly than I would have thought possible, we had pulled back to stand directly before the mountain. Our living wall was five soldiers thick: built of elves, men, and dwarves alike, all of whom were fighting for their lives. My brothers positioned me at the rear, much to my distain, but I was able to hear a commotion from within the mountain. I moved closer and stood with my ear pressed against the stone, listening. I recognized Kili's voice above the others, and I tuned out the sounds of battle—the clanging of metal on metal, the cries of the wounded and dying, the shrieks of the birds of prey—to listen to him.

He was screaming, shouting at someone—most likely Thorin—and using the same words I myself had used only days before. I wondered how he had heard them; since it was with Bilbo I had used them. Coming from his lips, they meant so much more. Tears sprang to my eyes and rolled down my cheeks, washing away the grime of battle. "I will not hide behind a wall of stone, while others fight our battles for us! It is not in my blood, Thorin."

At that moment, the line broke. I leapt forward and began fighting once more, unable to hear the rest of the conversation. I became lost in fighting. Duck, parry, stab, whirl—in a matter of moments I was yards away from where I had first stood. All around me, my people fell. Men, elves, and dwarves—all were being cut down. For a moment I found myself fighting beside Avelain, then he was swept away. A second later Maladernil stood beside me, but he stayed, keeping me in his sight at all times. I could see him tiring. One look at the sun showed that we had been fighting for hours; it was after noon. It was a miracle I had not yet been injured, but I knew it was only a matter of time before I made a mistake. Once again I blessed Thorin's sickness; it was the only think keeping Kili within the mountain where he was safe.

At that moment, the gates of Erebor exploded outward in a burst of stone and dust. One of these rocks hit me in the back, and the force of it sending me sprawling. I cracked my head upon the ground and lay still, staring blankly at my surroundings. My ears rang. Booted feet moved past me as if in a dance. Blood soaked the ground beneath my cheek.

Someone grabbed the back of my armor and hauled me to my feet. My ears cleared, and the sounds of battle returned, clear as day. Maladernil kept a firm grip on my shoulder, using his free arm to fight. Legolas appeared, eyes wide with concern.

_"Take her!" _Maladernil yelled, thrusting me into his arms. I shook my head, finding my footing. I wouldn't leave the battle now. I couldn't. I looked up to see thirteen fresh dwarf warriors sprinting from within the mountain, all heavily armed and ready for battle. One look at the crownless leader showed me that Thorin was free, that the sickness no longer controlled him. Instead of joy, however, I felt a stab of terror. Kili.

I broke away from Legolas and rushed after my fiancé, sprinting towards him, ignoring my brothers' yells. I reached him in moments, and we fought together once more, carving a path through the enemy. The prince of Erebor and the princess of Mirkwood fought side by side together; such a sight would never be seen again.

Kili and I fought back to back, moving fluidly and in sync as we had always done. The battle raged on for what felt like an eternity. The sky remained overcast, the grey sky a sharp contrast to the scarlet earth. Screams and shouts echoed across mountains, mingling with the screeching of metal and the squelch of boots through blood. I was tiring. I had been fighting from the beginning of the battle and had slept very little. My head pounded, and to my growing horror I could begin to discern the voices in my head that had dwelt there for so long. The battle had called them back. I sported a gash on my forearm and temple, and hot blood ran down my cheek and arm, making my grip slippery.

I fought on though, for my family. I made a promise. I would not break it now. I swung back, ready to end my fight, just as Kili cried out behind me. I whipped round to see him on his back on the ground several yards away, groaning. Azog stood mere feet from me; it appeared that he had thrown Kili out of his path to reach me. I had one source of comfort from this: Azog didn't know that Kili was of the line of Durin. If he had, nothing in Middle Earth would have saved him.

The pale orc sneered at me as I stood staring at him in shock. A sudden fiery pain raced up my leg and I screamed, impulsively swinging around and beheading the Orc that had just sliced his knife across my left calf. I fell to one knee, my shaking leg unable to support my weight. Azog stood above me, brandishing his sword in his remaining hand. The blade was longer than I was tall. I glared up in defiance, placing my palms on the ground and struggling to push myself to my feet. The Orc smirked and held his sword under my chin, forcing me to look up at him.

_'Someone come. Anyone—' _

He kicked my in the chest, sending me skidding back over the ground. I groaned, wheezing, gasping for breath. My bow and empty quiver dug into my back. Somehow I managed to position my arm under me, and I struggled to rise. My whole body shook wildly.

_'This cannot happen. I will not die at his hand.'_

I grabbed my sword and used it as a cane to stand. The orc leered at me. He was enjoying this. He wanted me to fight. He wanted to toss me around like a cat would a mouse, to play before he killed me. I reached back under my cloak; blindly feeling for the blade of one of the knives Fili had given me.

The orc's smile vanished as I reared back to throw the blade, and he swung his sword. It hit me in the side, and I screamed as pain tore through chest, hip, and leg. The force of the blow flung me to the side, and I crashed into the ground several yards away. My head slammed against the stone, and stars danced before my eyes. I lay still, shaking. Blood soaked my armor. Azog appeared, standing over me with his sword hovering feet above my heart.

I reached weakly for my sword, blindly searching for the blade that had left my hand when I fell. I couldn't find it. Tears fell down my cheeks. This was it. I couldn't fight. I could barely move.

_'At least they're safe.' _Yes. A sense of calm swept over me. They were safe. I would die knowing they were safe.

The pale orc's blade began to descend, and I closed my eyes, waiting for the blow to fall. A moment later, I felt something jerk me backwards as an agonized bellow filled the air. My eyes snapped open. I lay on the ground several feet away, Fili and Kili kneeling beside me. Their fingers were wrapped around the leather straps of my armor. They had pulled me out of the way.

Azog stood frozen, eyes wide with shock. The tip of an elven blade—Orcrist—protruded from his breastplate. Thorin stood behind him, hands wrapped around the hilt of the sword. He was breathing heavily, eyes bright, but he was himself. The darkness had retreated.

"Do not touch her, filth," he breathed. Azog fell to his knees as Thorin released his grip on the sword and stepped back. The orc turned around to stare at Thorin, but the king's eyes were already on me. He was concerned, frightened for me. "Aeyera—"

Before he could finish, before I could _blink_, Azog jerked around and plunged his sword into Thorin's chest. An anguished, horrified scream tore from my lips as the king gasped, staring in disbelief at the blade. Azog smiled, teeth and lips dripping blood, before his eyes rolled back in his head and he slumped forward, dead. I cried out once more as Thorin fell to his knees.

The brothers yelled in despair and fury and leapt to their feet, fighting off the orcs and goblins that had surged forward when they saw the king fall. Thorin collapsed onto his back, his chest heaving. I began dragging myself over to him, doing my best to ignore the trail of blood that followed behind me. After an eternity I reached him. His blue eyes roved wildly and froze on my face. He choked.

"Aeyera." His hand flopped weakly against the ground, and I took it, squeezing it as tightly as I could. Tears fell down my face. "Aeyera. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Hush. Everything is going to be fine. Don't apologize, Thorin, you're going to be alright." Even as I spoke, I knew he wouldn't be fine. There was too much blood. Fili and Kili continued to fight, pushing the line of orcs farther and farther away. "You—"

The king's hands shook. "Listen to me." I bit my lip and nodded. "Thank you. You saved me."

"I failed. You're dying, Thorin!" I was nearly screaming. The sounds of battle around us faded. Fili and Kili were too far away to help. No one was coming. "I tried to save you. I'm so sorry—"

"Aeyera. You… you changed Kili. Your words… changed him. Changed me. Saved me." He coughed. Blood stained his lips, reddened his teeth. "Forgive me."

I nodded wildly. "I forgive you. I forgave you long ago."

"You have redeemed yourself," he told me softly. "You saved me." He paused. "Marry Kili. You… make him happy. You've made him—a better man. You touched… each of us. You saved—all of us—" he choked, convulsing.

"No, Thorin. You saved me." I was shaking as well, both from grief and pain. I gripped his hands tighter, as much as for my support as for his. Darkness was encroaching on my vision, and my fingers and lips were growing numb. "Thank you."

A faint smile appeared on his lips. He didn't speak for a moment, but then his expression darkened. "Tell Bilbo, and Dwalin—tell all of them, I'm sorry. Tell Fili—and Kili—I'm sorry."

I nodded. "I will."

"Aeyera."

His breath left him in a gentle exhale, and his eyes drifted off my face to rest on a point I could not see. "Thorin." I shook him slightly. He didn't respond. "Thorin! Thorin, no! Thorin—" I bowed my head over the body of the fallen king, sobs wracking my body. My voice rose to a scream. "Thorin!"

My breath come in short bursts. My whole body went numb except for my wounds, which continued to burn. Hot blood continued to flow from them, staining the ground. I fell back onto the ground, facing the sky. Darkness was falling once more. The sun had set beyond the mountain, and right above me, the clouds had opened up. I stared up at the break as my body relaxed. The first stars began to appear in the sky above me. My lips curved into a smile as my eyes closed, Thorin's words echoing in my mind as the darkness pulled me under.

_'You have redeemed yourself.'_


	17. Chapter 17

How could he have lost her?!

Kili scrambled over and around piles of corpses, terrified. In all his years, he had never been in a battle like this, and he had never been so afraid. All the skirmishes he had been apart of… they were nothing compared to this. Nothing could have prepared him for this.

Hundred of bodies lay piled atop one another. Orcs and elves, men and dwarves: all laid twisted together in death. Blood soaked the ground, turning the dirt into mud that he sank into up to his ankles. He pulled his feet out frantically and began to run, staggering around almost drunkenly. His undamaged hand went to rest against the braid in his hair, and he caressed it with quivering fingers.

"She's alright, she's okay, I know she's okay—" He was muttering, shaking and sweating with fear. _'How could I have lost her?'_ They had fought back-to-back most of the battle, but he had run off to fight when Thorin had fallen. By the time the battle had been won, he had no idea where he was or where Aeyera was. He left her. He lost her. He failed her.

"Aeyera!" He began to call out her name, raising his voice to reach over those of the birds beginning to alight on the dead. He moved faster, searching for her silver armor and cloak. She would not leave his uncle. He knew that she hadn't the strength to. Besides, she had promised to protect him. Even unto death. His heart began to pound a death roll in his chest. Hot blood soaked his chest, and his shoulder ached. Aeyera would not have stopped fighting until she had died had any of the Durin's been in danger.

Kili began to search harder, calling out both their names now. He stared into each dwarven and elven face he passed until his mind began to grow numb. So much death. So many pairs of lifeless eyes stared back at him or up at the sky. So many pale, still faces streaked with blood, frozen in the final expression they wore in life. He shook violently and stopped moving. The wound in his chest burned, but he ignored it. He turned in a circle, and then held his hands to his mouth. "Aeyera!"

His voice travelled far, echoing off the mountains. Several crows took flight, and several survivors looked up in confusion, searching for the source of the cry. He had already moved on. He _must _find them. He must find _her_.

_"Aeyera," _he breathed. He turned his head as the wind began to pick up, whipping his hair wildly around his face. "_Aeyera! Where are you!?_"

Tears poured down his cheeks as he took a couple steps forward and then sank to his knees, holding his face in his hands. He felt his heart begin to tear down the center, leaving nothing but ruin in its wake. He looked up to see a flash of silver armor in the moonlight, and somehow he found his feet again and began to make his way to it, slowly at first and then faster when he saw whom it was.

He stumbled over to her and collapsed on all fours in the filth. It's her. It's Aeyera. Her face was beautiful as it always was, but pale and bloody. Dirt and sweat matted her hair, but her betrothal braid remained in tact. Her crown rested upon her head. She lay upon her back, eyes closed, faced turned towards the stars. Kili sat unmoving beside her, holding her in his arms. His friend. His love. His fiancé. His One. Aeyera. He was sobbing, tears falling unashamedly down his face.

In a moment, Fili joined him. He stared down at his brother, his heart rent in two. Tears fell down his face, and he fell to his knees beside him when he realized that his uncle lay beside the girl, fallen. Dead.

The pair sat together for a long time in silence. In fact, it was not until Fili looked up to suggest they return to the mountain that he saw the slightest movement. He leaned forward, holding his breath, eyes locked on Aeyera. After a moment, her chest moved. His heart began to beat faster, and he pulled out a knife and held it beneath her nostrils. The faintest bit of breath misted across the steel, and he sucked in a breath, barely believing his eyes.

"Kili," he breathed. The prince barely acknowledged his brother's word. "Kili, she's alive. She's breathing. Come on, brother, we have to get her to Gandalf."

Kili stared down at his betrothed in disbelief. He saw no sign of life, but he had never known his brother to lie to him. He picked her up, cradling her fragile, bloody form in his arms. The brothers began running across the battlefield, the eldest shouting for help.

"Someone help us!" he bellowed. His words echoed through the hills. "The Princess is alive! Help us!"

Soon two figures on white horses appeared. One had golden hair, the other dark, but both were too similar not to be related.

"Aeyera," the blonde breathed.

"Give her to me," the other said. He dismounted and took her form from Kili.

"Who are you?" Kili asked, keeping his eyes glued on Aeyera.

"Maladernil," he answered, glancing at the dwarf. "Aeyera's brother."

Kili started, a flush creeping up his neck. He had assumed at the gate that the elf who comforted her was in love with her. He didn't know it was her brother. Here was another thing he had to apologize for. He hoped he got the chance.

Without another word he mounted his horse and sped away, keeping his sister in the saddle and leaving Legolas to lead the dwarves to the mountain. The corridors closest to the gates had been converted to makeshift hospitals for the time being. The dead were unable to be brought inside, and so the injured were laid out on the floor in rows. The dead were beyond number, but not beyond grief. The wails of loved ones tore through the silence, and the elf prince gripped his sister tighter, praying that he would not soon be joining the ranks of the mourning.

His horse's hooves clattered across the stone, alerting those inside to his arrival. Bard, lord of Dale, and his children were rushing to and fro, delivering bandages and water to those in need of it. Many of the uninjured elves were put in charge of healing, and there was one in particular that Maladernil needed most. He swung himself off the horse and cradled his sister to his chest. She was still breathing, but she had gone cold. There was no telling how long she had been outside, bleeding out, and there was no telling how much blood she had lost.

_"Tauriel!" _he barked, seeing the red haired she-elf rush past.

She turned round, starting, and froze when she saw the prince. Her mount opened a bit in horror when she saw the princess, and she immediately led him to an empty room nearby. Rows of blankets were laid out upon the stone; it was clear that this room was soon to be put to use as well. Maladernil placed his sister upon one of these mats, and Tauriel knelt beside her.

_"My lord, I need water and bandages, and Athelas. Please hurry," _she told him, eyes roving over the damage before her hands touched the wounds. The prince nodded and rushed from the room, and the she-elf exhaled. She cut off the trousers around Aeyera's wounds, around her left calf and her thigh. She had a handful of bandages with her already, and she used them to bind off the area above the wounds, creating a tourniquet to stop the bleeding. She had already lost so much blood. Maladernil appeared in the doorway with the water and bandages.

Tauriel willed her hands to keep from shaking as she unclasped the princess' cloak and began unfastening her armor as quickly as she could. She had to cut off her tunic, having no other way that would not hurt her, and stared in confusion at the girl's armor. The chain mail was pristine, except for the grime on it. There were no tears in the metal links like she had expected. She touched it with her fingertips, eyes widening.

_"Mithril," _she breathed.

Maladernil nodded, a slight smile on his lips. _"Yes. She didn't know, of course, but I gave it to her this morning. I am glad; it saved her live today."_

She pulled it off carefully and set it aside with the princess' armor and crown. The elf's chest was bound, but her brother turned away all the same. Tauriel gazed at the girl's side. The skin beneath her arms was chaffed and raw from the armor, but it would heal. She had impressive bruising; black and purple covered the entire side of her body from her shoulder to her hip, where the bruising joined the gash in her thigh the mail could not cover. Tauriel ran her fingertips tightly over the girl's ribs and winced; most of the bones on that side of her body had been snapped by the sheer force of the blow; Tauriel knew without a doubt that had she not been wearing the mail that she would have been dead in minutes.

The elf bound her ribs and went to heal the wounds in her legs, taking care of the one in her calf. Her brother washed and bound the wounds on her forearm and temple, and then held her head in his lap, brushing through her hair.

Tauriel was finishing wrapping the gash on her calf, glancing apprehensively towards the one on her thigh, when Maladernil sucked in a quick breath, air whistling through his teeth. He stared down at his little sister in horror. He had parted the hair on the back of her head, revealing a deep cut in her skin. Blood had soaked her hair. The healer and prince immediately began working to rinse away the blood and dirt from around the area to clean it.

_"My lord," _Tauriel murmured. _"I cannot heal this. This or her leg, I… it is beyond my ability to do so."_

The prince nodded numbly and glanced up right as the wizard Mithrandir passed the door. The elf leapt to his feet and rushed after him, heart pounding. _"Mithrandir!"_

The wizard turned. He recognized the elf before him—he was the true heir to the throne should anything happen to Thranduil. He also was Aeyera's older brother, and there was only one reason why such a normally calm figure would be so worried. Gandalf strode towards him quickly, and then passed him, heading for Aeyera's room. "Where is she?" he asked sharply. The prince led the way, not trusting himself to speak.

When the two entered the room, it was to see a frantic Tauriel murmuring spells over the Princess, who was steadily growing paler. The wizard knelt beside her and looked over her wounds. When he saw her leg and head, he closed his eyes. She was so near death… he didn't know if he would be able to heal her or not. He would try to save her, if he could. He felt a pang of regret. He had urged the princess to join the company. He had asked her to protect the Durin's. If she died… He opened his eyes and went to work, pressing Athelas against the wounds and murmuring spells nearly as old as time. After a long while, he removed his hands. The wound had, for the most part, closed, leaving a nasty scar but looking much better than it had several hours before.

He moved to her head, taking more time than on her leg. There was no swelling on the outside, which meant it was on the inside… and most who suffered a wound such as this did not survive. Dawn was breaking when Gandalf sat back, exhausted. The cut had been healed, but the damage… he didn't know if he could heal her of it. He wasn't sure if there were any who could.

Maladernil and Tauriel stood together watching the wizard. The she-elf gripped the prince's hand tightly, watching with wide eyes. Gandalf brushed the princess' hair from her face and wiped away the residue from her skin with a damp cloth. She was very pale, and very still, and the wizard did not know if she would awaken. He stood, leaning heavily on his staff, and faced the elf's brother and friend.

"I have done all I can," he told them gently. "If she does wake, I am afraid that she will never again full use of her leg; she will walk with a limp the remainder of her life."

"Is… is that it?" Tauriel asked hesitantly, glancing towards the young elf. She had to wake up… "She will awaken soon, yes?"

Olórin sighed and looked to Maladernil, who had remained silent. "I do not know," he answered. "She is very weak, and she had lost a lot of blood. I do not know how strong her mind is, especially considering the darkness that has taken root there."

Kili appeared in the doorway. His face was chalk white, and dark shadows hung under his eyes like bruises. "Where—" his eyes darting to Aeyera, and in an instant he was by her side, gripping her hand like a lifeline. "Aeyera," he murmured, brushing her forehead gently. "Hey, it's me. It's Kili. Wake up, Aeyera." His voice broke. "Wake up. Please." He looked up at Gandalf. He was shell-shocked. His eyes were blank and at the same time filled with such sorrow and loss that Maladernil knew in an instant that Kili's love for his sister was true. "Gandalf, help her!" He was panicking. His breathing was shallow and quick, and his entire body trembled uncontrollably.

The wizard crossed to him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Kili. Look at me." The prince looked up at him with bloodshot eyes. "I have done all I can. All was can do now is pray and hope that time is enough to heal her." The prince nodded, still shaking. Gandalf turned to Maladernil. "Is there an infirmary here we can place her until she wakes?" he asked, choosing his words carefully. He neither wanted to inspire false hope or take away the little hope that was left.

Kili looked up, answering instead of the elven prince. "Yes," he answered. "Balin was in charge of fixing it up; Thorin—" his face crumpled, and Gandalf drew a sharp breath. Thorin had fallen? "Thorin wouldn't—" He cleared his throat, looking down. "I'll bring her." He picked her up, gently cradling her in his arms. He prayed to Mahal that she would wake up, and that she would come back to him.

Kili's mind wandered as he walked. Fili and Aeyera's other brother, Legolas, were working together to bring Thorin's body back to the mountain and had both volunteered to search for survivors. To his dismay, he saw that there were very few of his kin in the halls or in the adjoining rooms where the injured were being placed. His heart sank. They had died for the mountain, been slaughtered trying to help them… he shuddered thinking about the battle; his first battle and, hopefully, his last. He never wanted to fight like that again. Granted, it was different fighting orcs than men or even elves, but what affected him more than killing was seeing so many on his own side being cut down. And seeing Aeyera lying on the ground, pale as death… it shook him terribly. He reached the infirmary. Balin was already there, still covered in grime and blood from the battle. Only three others were in the room: an elf warrior lay upon one of the cots, his eyes closed, and a raven haired she-elf knelt beside him, holding his hand and crying. On a cot across the hall, another elf lay still. Balin was pulling a cloth over his face, but Kili caught a glimpse of auburn hair before it was covered. He vaguely recalled seeing the same elf speaking to Aeyera as he himself entered the battle, but he did not know him.

His heart ached as he placed Aeyera upon a cot several down from the fallen elf. The elves, at least the ones led by Aeyera's brother, had come to protect them, to defend them from Thranduil's soldiers until Thorin saw sense. Then things had gone terribly wrong. The orcs had attacked, and he could do nothing. Nothing but watch them die. Guilt filled him as though he himself had cut them down. It was his fault. He should have listened to Aeyera, he should have fought for her, he… he bowed his head. If she died, he would as well. His heart was already breaking.

He knelt down on the stone beside her, gripping her hand tightly. He tried to avoid looking at her side, which was bruised beyond what he had considered possible. The skin beneath her arms was raw like his was, one of the negative effects of wearing armor. Her half and thigh were wrapped tightly, although Kili could see blood already staining the bandages. Her forearm was bandaged as well, along with her head. She had endured so much… for him. He bowed his head and closed his eyes, unable to see her and know that it was his fault she was so injured. So he prayed, prayed with all that he was that she would be alright, and he waited.

-o-O-o-

_I stood overlooking the battle once more. I could see myself trying to fight Azog. I watched as he kicked me back, watched as his sword struck me with enough force to cut a horse in two, and watched as my frail form was dashed against the rocks. I watched with a heavy heart as Thorin cut down the orc only to be run through as soon as his attention was diverted to me. I saw Fili and Kili rush off to fight off the encroaching line of orcs, and finally I watched and listened as Thorin and I spoke, as he died, and as my eyes fluttered shut as the stars appeared in the sky._

_ Was I dead? I doubted it. I sat down, my eyes filling with tears as Kili and Fili found me, as my brother rushed me to the mountain. I went with him, keeping watch over my body. I was so still. So pale. I watched as first Tauriel, then Gandalf, came and tried to heal me. I nearly broke down when I heard them speak of my leg, but when they said I might not wake up… I knew I should have felt something. Panic. Fear. Relief. But I just sat there, thinking. My leg hurt considerably less, although my ribs still burned. My head, though… it felt so odd, as if burning and freezing at one time. All the same, the pain was muted. It was as if I knew I should be feeling it, but didn't. It was very confusion, and very difficult to explain. _

_ I didn't understand what Gandalf meant until they found the cut, the place where my head hit the ground when Azog threw me. Until he healed it, but didn't really heal it, I wasn't sure what was wrong. Shouldn't I wake up now? I then understood. Something was wrong. Inside me, there was something wrong. Something that couldn't be fixed. Kili appeared in the doorframe, and my vision began to disappear. Images that were in focus a moment ago faded to black. The sound that had come to me so clearly became muted and choppy, although I could hear phrases, bits of noise. _

_ For the first time I began to panic, but I could do nothing. I was trapped inside my head. I felt nothing. I heard nothing. I saw nothing. I couldn't keep track of time, so I lay in the darkness for what felt like an eternity, until everything faded. Touch. Smell. Sight. Hearing. All went. Soon my thoughts disappeared as well. I was an empty shell. I was gone._

-o-O-o-

Kili sat beside her a several days later, still holding her hand. She hadn't moved. A bit of color had returned to her cheeks, but not much. She was much too thin, having not eaten since before the battle. Kili had barely budged, not even his brother had been able to move him. Gandalf had had to drag him away so Oin could tend to his wounds, and Kili had come right back and rejoined his betrothed as soon as they were cleaned and wrapped.

The elves, except for Aeyera's family, had returned to Mirkwood and to Imladris to await the return of their king. The men had taken up residence in Dale. The dead had been sorted. The elves took their own back to the forests to mourn and bury them their own way. The men had been buried outside the city walls, and the dwarves, except for Thorin, had been buried within the mountain in their tombs. The company had allowed Gandalf to… preserve Thorin's body, just until Aeyera had woken and Kili was well enough to leave her side. Hopefully she would wake soon; they couldn't wait forever to bury him. The orcs had been burned.

A few of each race remained, mostly those who were too weak or injured to be moved. The raven-haired she-elf had lost her husband and had taken up residence in the cot beside Aeyera. Her eyes were blank, and tears continually dripped down her cheeks. She stared straight ahead all day, never eating or drinking unless someone fed her themself. She had lost the will to live. Aeyera had one told him that elves could only die by being killed or dying of heartbreak. Kili knew that he was witnessing the second of these two deaths, which had been caused by the first. It frightened him terribly. He understood now why Aeyera had been so adamant about protecting him: that was the fate that awaited him if he were to fall.

He gripped her hand tighter. She would wake. She would come back to him.

Fili entered the room and crossed over to him. When he reached his brother, he touched his shoulder, and Kili jumped, flinching away from him. He glanced up and saw who it was, and then slumped over. Fili was the only one he was able to truly grieve around. He was the prince; he couldn't let other see him being weak. Everyone tried offering condolences, asking how he was doing—Aeyera wasn't gone! She was right here. She would come back.

Fili knelt down beside him, grunting as he shifted his weight off his bad leg. Kili's heart clenched when he realized that the two people he cared most for would never be the same; both had been badly injured. Gandalf had said that both Fili and Aeyera would walk with a limp the remainder of their lives, and Kili had felt the guilt building, suffocating him. He had barely been injured at all, save a gash across his chest that would leave a scar but otherwise heal, and a dislocated shoulder. It had been put back into place before he had even found Aeyera, but it still gave him trouble. It was nothing in comparison though. He had not known of anyone who had been unconscious for this long. No one said it around him, but he knew the truth. She wouldn't make it much longer. Kili kissed her hand, aware that his own were shaking.

"Come back to me," he whispered. They were the first words he had spoken in nearly a week. "Aeyera. Please, please come back me. I have so much I need to tell you. So much I need to apologize for. You can't leave me now. You promised." His voice broke, and he bent over her. He hesitated for a moment, and then kissed her gently. His tears dripped onto her face. He pulled away, trembling violently, and caressed her cheek. "I love you," he whispered. "More than everything. More than life."


	18. Chapter 18

For the first time in days, I felt something, a warm pressure on my lips. I heard Kili's voice. "I love you. More than everything. More than life." I felt the pain in my ribs and my leg, but more than that I felt the ache in my heart from being apart from him for so long. Kili.

I remained in darkness. My eyes wouldn't open. I couldn't move. _'Kili!'_ I tried to scream. _'I'm here! I hear you! Don't leave me!'_

He squeezed my hand. I could sense his presence beside me. I could feel more, hear more, but I couldn't see. I couldn't move. I forced all my concentration, all my will to _moving_. Whether it be a flutter of my eyelids, or a sharper breath, or a twitch of my finger—anything. Anything to let him know that I was here.

What frightened me, besides not knowing how I got to where I was—the last thing I remembered was meeting Maladernil across from Ravenhill—was how weak I felt. My stomach burned and ached as though there was no food in it. I had no idea how long I had been gone, but… it had been too long. I had to come back. For Kili.

_'Come on!' _I screamed, fighting to throw out my arm, do anything. My finger twitched. I heard Kili's sharp intake of air, and his grip on my hand tightened.

"Aeyera?" he breathed. "Can you hear me?"

_'Yes!' _I wanted to sob. _'Yes, Kili, I'm here! I'm here, please. Please bring me back.'_

"Kili," I heard Fili's soft voice. He sounded weak, and grieving. "She's gone."

"No, she's not." Kili snapped. "I felt her move."

"Kili." Fili tried to reason with him. "You haven't slept in days, ever since she—" he broke off. "She's not coming back."

A tear fell down my cheek. The brothers gasped, and suddenly I heard someone scramble to their feet and take off, screaming for Oin, for Balin, for Gandalf, for anyone and everything. I continued fighting. Feeling rushed to my fingers, to my toes. I tried to jerk, to throw myself off the bed, to move, but instead a small shudder ran down my body. My hands began to shake, and my breathing sped up. My heart began to beat faster. I was panicking. I wanted to move, to see, to speak—and I couldn't. I couldn't do anything.

Kili kept a firm grip on my hand. In that moment I truly understood what it meant to have a lifeline. He kept my anchored, kept me from slipping away.

"Calm down," he whispered. His lips touched my forehead, and his scruff tickled my skin. I slowly began regaining control. My breathing slowed. My heartbeat returned to normal. My hands stopped shaking. "Come back to me. I know you're scared, Aeyera, but you're going to be alright. Trust me."

The sound of voices and hurried footsteps reached my ears. I wanted to see Kili. I wanted him to be the first one I saw. A horrible thought crossed my mind. I couldn't remember anything that had happened… what if the battle had already happened? Was that how I got here? What if I was dreaming? What if Kili had fallen, and this—all of this—wasn't real? What if he was dead?

That though jarred me so badly that my eyes forced their way open. I froze. I stopped breathing. All rational thought left me. I couldn't move, couldn't breath, couldn't speak. I couldn't see._ I couldn't see. _

I broke down into hysterics, squeezing my eyes shut. I couldn't see.

"Aeyera, calm down."

"Open your eyes, lass."

Oin was here. They all were here. I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't face the world knowing that I couldn't see it anymore. I couldn't move my body except for my eyes, and those I squeezed shut.

"All of you, leave!" Oin barked. "Or at least go gather in the corner. Do you want to frighten the poor lass to death?" As the voices moves off, Oin spoke again. "Kili, lad. You as well."

His grip on my hand didn't falter. "I'm not going anywhere."

The old dwarf sighed but said nothing more about it. "Aeyera. Open your eyes."

_ 'I can't.'_

"Has she opened her eyes yet?" Oin asked.

"For just a moment. Then she shut them and started crying and shaking," Kili whispered. He squeezed my hand.

"I feared so. Aeyera, you must listen to me. You've been asleep for several days. Your body and mind shut down. That means it is going to take a while for you to wake up again. Do you understand me? But if you don't open your eyes, you can't start waking up. Open them."

He waited. I didn't open them. I couldn't. "Please, Aeyera." Kili. "Open your eyes."

I did. I saw nothing. Only darkness. I could hear Oin moving; feel the warmth of a flame. I guessed that he was waving a candle before my eyes, trying to gauge a response. I heard him breathe in quickly. "Oh dear," he said softly. I closed my eyes again. At least, I thought I did. I couldn't tell; everything was the same whether my eyes were open or closed. "Open your eyes again, lass." I did. I kept them open. I humored him, for Kili. Hot tears dripped down my cheeks. I felt nauseous. "Lass, listen to me. From what I've been told, you hit your head very hard on the ground before…" The old dwarf's voice broke for a moment, but he continued on. "From my experience, this sort of trauma can cause blindness." My breathing hitched, and Kili's grip on my hand grew painful.

"Blind?" he whispered, echoing my thoughts. "She's blind?"

Oin hurried on, both answering and ignoring Kili. "However, the condition can be temporary, lasting a few hours to a few weeks. Master Gandalf is here, and he is going to try to heal you, help you along. If it is the temporary sort of blindness, then he can help you vision to recover more swiftly." Please. Anything. "If it is not…"

"Do it," Kili said quickly. "Please."

A gnarled hand rested upon my face, covering my eyes. I could feel the wizard's warm skin, and I caught the scent of pipe smoke from his robes. He began murmuring a spell in an old language, his voice rising and falling like a song. My eyes drifted shut. I felt warm, comfortable, and safe. Finally the spell ended. Whatever happened, I would have to be okay. I took a deep breath and released it. Gandalf lifted his hand from my eyes. I found that feeling had returned to my limbs, although I didn't try to move yet.

"Aeyera," Kili whispered. "Open your eyes."

I did. At first, everything was grey, which honestly was a huge improvement. I could see shapes and shadows, but couldn't focus on anything. I tried harder, focusing on that which was right above me. Slowly, a form came into focus. Dark hair. Dark eyes. Dark beard. Pale, almost grey skin. A white gold bead. A flash of white teeth. Slowly, so slowly, Kili's face came into view.

I stared up at him in silence as tears flowed down my cheeks. My lips parted and curved upwards in a smile. "Kili," I breathed.

He breathed out in relief, tears streaming down his own face. "Aeyera."

"Try moving you arms, my lady," Gandalf offered with a smile. I did, and I found that I could lift them. It was by no means easy, and I was very weak, but I could move. Kili wrapped his arms around me, one hand resting on my back and the other on my hip, and lifted me halfway off the bed. I wrapped my arms around his neck, resting my head upon his shoulder. My side ached and my leg burned, but I could see. I was awake. I was alive.

"Drink this, Aeyera." Oin handed me a large tankard of water, which I gulped down as quickly as I could. When that was gone, he handed me another, which I drank much more slowly than the first.

I looked around as Kili set me back down upon the bed. Most of the company stood in the corner, smiling at me. Most of them—except for Bombur, bless him—sported some sort of injury. Fili, who stood beside his brother, leaned upon a staff. Gloin's arm was wrapped and hung in a sling. A flash of white revealed bandages hidden beneath Kili's tunic.

I frowned. Clearly the battle had already taken place. I counted the dwarves. Balin, Dwalin, Oin, Gloin, Bifur—the ax head was gone! —Bofur, Bombur, Fili, Kili, Dori, Ori, Nori… Bilbo sat in the corner upon a cot, staring down at his feet. Thirteen. I was the fourteenth, but where… where was Thorin?

"Kili?" I asked timidly. I was suddenly afraid. I was very, very afraid. "Where—" I swallowed, not knowing if I wanted to hear the answer. "Where is Thorin?" A look of anguish crossed his face. Fili looked down. Dwalin looked away and crossed his arms tightly. Bilbo wiped his nose. "No," I breathed, feeling tears in my eyes. Disbelief welled up within me. He… he couldn't be _gone_. Surely not. Surely they were joking—surely he would walk through the doors in a moment, a smile upon his face. Or a scowl, depending on whether or not the gold sickness still controlled him. Nothing could kill him. How—?

"Lassie," Balin stepped forward and rested a gentle hand upon my arm. "What's the last thing you remember?"

I stared back at him and blinked, thinking. "I-I remember meeting my brother," I told him. "Legolas and I met him on the overlook across from Ravenhill."

"Yes," Balin replied, nodding his head. "Go on. Tell us everything, until you can't remember anything else."

I nodded, unsure. "We—we went down and stood in front of the mountain. I went, and I stood with Maladernil, and Legolas, and Gwenithil and Aicanar."

A cry reached my ears, and I jerked around to see a familiar face in the cot beside mine. "Gwenithil?" I breathed. She looked horrible. Her hair was unkempt, her frame frail and weak. She looked like she hadn't eaten in days. Her eyes were bloodshot, her cheeks damp with tears. Only one thing could have made her like this. "No," I whimpered.

Another figure entered the room at that moment. "Aeyera!"

I turned in time for Legolas to catch me in his arms, gripping me gently and tightly. He was shaking. "Legolas."

"You're awake. Thank Eru you're awake. How are you?"

"Prince Legolas," Oin interrupted. "I am trying to gage how much she remembers of the past few days. If you could wait a moment."

"Of course." He moved to sit across from Gwenithil, speaking to her softly in Sindarin. He held her hands, gently wiping the tears from her face. He was trying to bring her back.

"Aeyera," Balin caught my attention once more. "Please continue."

I nodded. "We… we stood between Thranduil's army and the mountain." I frowned, searching for the right memory. "I let Bard and Thranduil pass, and I rode with them to reason with Thorin. Bard revealed the Stone…" I looked over at Bilbo, my brow furrowing. "I didn't know your plan. Thorin, he… he said terrible things. He thought I took it. You—" I turned sharply to stare at Kili, who shrank back. "You believed him," I breathed. My heart ached.

"I am so sorry," he whispered. "I should never have—"

"Lad, let her finish."

"Bilbo, he… he came forward… Thorin wanted to throw him off the wall, but he got away. The dwarves came, then the orcs, and we started fighting, but you stayed inside… until you didn't." I looked back at Kili. "I heard you." I quoted him. "'I will not hide behind a wall of stone while others fight our battles for us. It is not in my blood, Thorin'." Kili's eyes widened. "I heard you," I whispered. "Thank you."

"What happened then?" Oin prompted.

"Avelain, he came and asked for orders…" I frowned. "No, that was before I heard… or was it after the wall… the gate exploded," I recalled. My head was starting to hurt. "Where… where is he? Avelain?"

None answered. I doubted any knew of whom I spoke. To my surprise, it was Kili who answered. "He fell," he breathed. His eyes met mine. "I'm sorry."

My throat closed, and I nodded jerkily, taking deep breaths. "I hit the ground, and the company joined the battle. I fought with Kili, until—" my eyes widened. "Azog," I breathed. I turned to look at Kili and stared at him in horror. I touched his chest with shaking fingers. "He attacked you. He hurt you." He nodded. "He… he attacked me." I frowned. Everything here was fuzzy. "I was on the ground. He was about to kill me, but… I got away? How?" I looked around. No one would meet my eye. "Someone saved me. Who?" I demanded.

"Think," Balin said firmly. "You need to remember on your own."

My head dropped onto the bed. "Someone pulled me out of the way," I remembered. Everything was very blurry. "Azog, he—" my eyes widened, and I sat bolt upright. "He's dead," I whispered, a smile growing on my face. "Azog is dead." I laughed. "How? Who—" A memory surfaced of a blade piercing through armor, of an enemy twisting back, stabbing, then collapsing. I choked, covering my mouth with my hands. "No." I shook my head. "No, he—Thorin."

My memories suddenly came flooding back, and I fell back, sobbing. I remembered everything. Thorin was dead. Oh, Eru, Thorin. I failed. I lost him. "He's dead," I wailed. "I'm so sorry, Kili. He loved you. I love you. He was sorry. I'm sorry."

Strong arms enveloped me, holding me close. "Shh," Kili whispered. I felt his chest heaving as he tried to contain his grief. "You saved him."

I don't know how long I cried. He held me, rubbing my back. There was so much I wished I could say to him; so much I wished _he _could have said… that never could be spoken. Finally, I gathered enough strength to sit up

"Aeyera, did you…" Balin began. "Did he say anything to you, before he passed."

Kili helped me to rise, letting me leaning against him. Tears continued to stream from my eyes, trailing from my cheeks to my chin, dripping down my neck and leaving cold, salty wakes. "He… he told me that he was sorry. He said… he told me to tell…" I looked around and held out my hand to Dwalin, and to Bilbo. "Dwalin? Bilbo? Come here," I whispered. The two joined Kili and I, standing beside the bed. "Fili?" He moved closer, leaning on his staff, and then sat down, taking his weight off his leg. "He told me to tell you—all four of you, Bilbo, Dwalin, Fili, and Kili specifically—that he was sorry. To all of you, that he was sorry." My voice broke. Dwalin's face twisted in emotion, and he looked down. I moved and stood, shaking wildly. The burly dwarf caught me as me knees buckled. I hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry as well," I cried. "I swore to protect him, but—"

"Ye did, lass," Dwalin told me. "You saved him in the best way someone can be saved."

He sat me gently back on the cot, and Kili wrapped a blanket around me. I reached out and hugged Bilbo. He sniffed, looking down. "I'm sorry, Bilbo." Somehow it hurt so much more that Bilbo hadn't gotten to say goodbye, especially after what had happened at the gate. He nodded but said nothing.

"We are going to bury him tomorrow," Kili told me softly. "We were waiting for you to wake up." I nodded mutely. "I'm sorry, Aeyera. For everything."

The company filed out slowly, all nodding at me or telling me how happy they were that I was back. I nodded and smiled as they left until Kili, Fili, and I were the last three members of the company to remain. Fili stood, leg shaking, and leaned heavily upon his staff, then bent over and kissed my forehead gently.

"Get some rest, Aeyera," he told me gently. I nodded, and he took my hand in a brotherly fashion, looking at Kili. "Take care of her, little brother."

Kili nodded, and Fili limped from the room. Kili watched him go with a heartbroken look on his face, his eyes on Fili's leg and staff. When the door of the infirmary closed, he shut his eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath. I broke down sobbing. I crumpled into Kili's arms, weeping. "I'm sorry," I cried. He held me in his arms, cradling me close to his chest. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Aeyera, it is I who should be sorry," he answered after a long time. I could feel his heartbeat through his tunic; feel the heat from his skin warming me. "And I am. I am sorry for everything. I am sorry I did not believe you. I am sorry that I let Thorin make you leave. I am sorry that I believed Thorin at the gate, if only for a moment, and I am sorry for how I looked at you. Most of all I am sorry I could not do more to defend you. Forgive me, please."

He sounded so much like Thorin that a new wave of grief crashed onto me, and through the tears I nodded. "I forgive you. Eru, Kili, I forgive you." He kissed me gently, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "Please forgive me," I whispered after he pulled away. "I promised to protect him, to protect you, and I failed. You were hurt defending me. Thorin was killed defending me; Fili… he was injured defending both I and Thorin, I—I'm so sorry." I tried to pour my guilt and shame into my words, to make Kili see how tormented I was by this. I thought over the battle over and over, replaying it in my mind. I could have thrown my knife quicker. I could have paid more attention to my surroundings. I could have—

"Aeyera. Look at me." I lifted my eyes to meet Kili's. They were filled with tears, with sorrow and grief and pain that mirrored my own. "There is nothing to forgive. You did all you could. When Azog attacked you, you were already hurt. You could barely stand. You could not have done anything, Aeyera." I tried to believe him. I did. But it was so hard… "Aeyera, you have redeemed yourself. You have proven yourself in a thousand ways. I know what visions you saw, where Fili and I fell defending Thorin. You changed it, Aeyera. You saved us. You fulfilled your promise."

Legolas moved to sit on my other side, his hand resting on my shoulder. His eyes were tired and sad. He had lost his best friend. "Aeyera, I cannot express how glad I am to know that you are alive."

I gave him a weary smile. "As am I."

He chuckled. A knock sounded on the door, and I looked up to see Maladernil standing in the doorway. His eyes lit up when they saw me. _"Aeyera,"_ he breathed. He rushed over and embraced me, and began weeping. _"Aeyera, I'm sorry. I should have protected you. I should have been with you. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry."_

I hugged him back, mindful of the injuries I had sustained. _"I love you, Maladernil. And there is nothing to forgive."_

He pulled away, wiping his face, and he and Legolas moved to sit across from Kili and I on an adjourning cot. "Where will you go?" I asked my brothers. The battle was won, and I guessed that all were returning to their homes. Legolas, I knew, would not be returning to Mirkwood. Thranduil would not allow it anyway, but it was no longer his home.

"Mithrandir told me of a young ranger, the son of Arathorn," Legolas said softly. "I will find him, and I will go with the Dúnedain for as long as I need to. I suppose I am following in your footsteps now, little sister," he smiled wearily at me. "I cannot return to Mirkwood."

I nodded slowly, and Maladernil spoke. "I will be returning to Mirkwood," he said. I stared at him, dumbfounded. "I hope one day the forest will once again be known as the Greenwood, and be returned to the glory it held as Greenwood the Great."

"But—but Thranduil would never allow you to return," I stammered, my gaze flickering between my brothers. "You will be imprisoned or killed!"

"I do not think our people would imprison or kill their king, Aeyera."

I stared at them for a moment, confused. Their king? Then it hit me. I gazed at my eldest brother in shock. "You're the king?"

He nodded. I realized that the crown he wore had been enhanced, woven with thin bands of gold and silver. "I am. The coronation was yesterday, but I stayed here to wait until you woke."

"But… but where is Thranduil?" I finally asked. After being unconscious for days, experiencing what I had, and being driven nearly mad by grief so many times… it was no wonder my mind was working so slowly. My brothers gazed at me in silence before Legolas spoke. His eyes were filled with such pain that I nearly wept even though his pain was not my own.

"He fell in battle, Aeyera. Father—Thranduil—is dead."


	19. Chapter 19

I stared at my brothers in shock, my mind blank. Thranduil… is dead? He's gone? I knew most daughters would break down and weep if they received news that their father had died, but… he wasn't my father. Not really. After everything he had done to me… I had every right to hate him. And I did. If it weren't for him, the battle would have gone very differently. Thorin might still be alive. Aicanar and Avelain might still be alive. I couldn't forgive him.

I shifted, feeling the lash marks on my back stretch painfully. No one mentioned the lashes there; I myself had almost forgotten about them. It had been less than three weeks since I had escaped from Mirkwood. It was hard for me to believe that so little time had passed; it felt like so much longer. But now I was rid of him. He was gone. He couldn't hurt me anymore.

I took Legolas's hand. I knew how hard this was for him especially. He had always been our father's favorite. Thranduil had banished Maladernil after my mother's death and exiled me two decades later. Legolas was the only one to stay behind; the only one whom Thranduil really seemed to care for. Because I was so young at the time of my exile, I never got to know Thranduil like Legolas and Maladernil did. I never really had a father growing up. Both of them did, and I knew that they both were grieving him. They still loved him in their own ways, I knew, even though they disapproved of his actions and loathed how he treated me.

"I am sorry," I told them softly. "But I cannot grieve for him. I received nothing but hatred from him, and because of that I grew up without a father. I did not know him as you did."

"I do not expect you to mourn, Aeyera," Legolas answered softly, closing his eyes. "Not for him."

I looked away, thoughts whirling around in my mind. I was free, free from the two beings in Middle Earth who had hated me and tried to manipulate and kill me. And, although I grieved him, I was also free from Thorin. I knew in my heart of hearts that had he not passed, his presence would have forever been a reminder of the darkness that had always tried to corrupt and consume me. But he had fallen. He was gone, along with the pale orc and with Thranduil. "How did he fall?"

Maladernil and Legolas glanced at one another, troubled. Legolas's expression was wary, but Maladernil's was determined. Whatever had happened, they didn't want to share the information with me. "His elk was cut down from under him," my eldest brother told me softly. "He was thrown from its back and into the fray. He… he was attacked from behind. Your betrothed's brother, Fili—he tried to defend him." Kili tensed beside me, frozen. "That was how his leg was injured."

I sat in horrified silence, completely still, his words ringing in my ears. It was Thranduil's fault. Even beyond the grave he still was able to hurt me. He was able to hurt Kili. I gripped the sheets below me, twisting the fabric between my fingers until they cramped. "Is there anything else?" I asked. My voice was hoarse. I wanted to go out and find Gandalf, make him resurrect Thranduil so I could kill him again myself. I felt the darkness, the madness, stirring once again. But this time I was loathe to press it down. It was all I could do to keep from welcoming it and letting it consume me. I wanted it to take my pain away.

"Yes," Legolas whispered. "He… Aicanar tried to stop him from retreating. In the midst of the battle, Thranduil tried to round up his men and flee. When Aicanar stood in his way, he struck him down. He didn't kill him," he murmured, closing his eyes as a singe tear fell onto his cheek. I knew how hard this was for him; he had lost his father and his best friend, and had almost lost his sister in one day. "But he may as well have. Azog was on his way to you when Aicanar was struck to the ground, and he… he killed him," he whispered, placing his face in his hands. A lump rose in my throat. I thought I was beyond tears—beyond grief. I supposed not. "Thranduil fled. He and his mount were running towards you; you fought at the edge of the valley, closest to the path leading to Dale. That was where Thranduil was heading; it is the fastest way back to Mirkwood. Azog saw him, then saw you, and—" he stopped. "Azog went after you, then his soldiers killed Thranduil."

Sometime during his story I had taken hold of Kili's hand, and he of mine, and my fingers were numb from gripping his and being gripped so hard. "How do you know this?" I asked, my voice hushed. I lifted my bowed head to look my brothers in the eye.

"I saw it," Maladernil said softly. "I watched it happen. Legolas did as well, as did many others. You may remember that the battle was winding down by the time you fell; it was not difficult to discern what was going on."

"Did you see me fall, then?" I asked.

"No," Legolas murmured, gazing past me to Gwenithil. "Maladernil was attacked by a troll, and I was trying to move Aicanar. He was not killed right away, but grievously wounded; he passed on after he was moved to the mountain."

The only reason Aicanar fell was because Thranduil struck him down. If he hadn't, Legolas wouldn't have been occupied when I was attacked. I might not have even been attacked. Aicanar would still be alive. Thorin would still be alive. "So it is his fault," I murmured. My voice was distant. "He is the reason for Thorin's death. For Aicanar's death." Although I did not know if he actually was responsible or involved in any way in Avelain's death, I blamed him for that as well. I blamed him for everything. "Everything that happened is his fault."

"Aeyera—" Maladernil tried to cut me off, to reason with me, but I continued, ignoring him.

"He banished you. So many dwarves died because he wouldn't help when Smaug attacked Erebor. He exiled me. I was tortured for twenty years because of _him_. And then, after I go to redeem myself, he captured us and delayed our journey. He _tortured me,_" I spat, shaking. Legolas flinched back, and Maladernil's face went white. He hadn't known.

"What are you talking about?" he whispered. His expression was frenzied, wild. His eyes were wide and horrified, and pain beyond description churned within them.

"The Company was captured in Mirkwood." I refused to make eye contact with Legolas; I could feel the shame and guilt rolling off him in waves. I didn't blame him for what had happened, but I knew his thoughts. He was the one who had captured me, the one who refused to let us go for fear of the consequences. Although he had not known what Thranduil was capable of, he still was responsible. "Thranduil wanted me to betray the dwarves, to spy on them and lead him to the mountain, to the door, to the gold. I refused. He tortured me for weeks, Maladernil. Legolas helped me escape."

Legolas looked away as Maladernil closed his eyes. Both their expressions were pained, and it broke my heart to know that I was the cause of their grief. We sat in silence for a couple minutes unwilling to break it. Kili held me close to his chest. "I am so sorry," Maladernil finally whispered, a tear falling down his cheek.

"It wasn't your fault."

"I should have been there for you. I should have been there to protect you from him, Aeyera, I—"

"Enough," I cut him off sharply. "You have nothing to apologize for, Maladernil. You had no way of knowing what was going on. You could have stopped him no more that I could. Do not dwell on it any longer. Please."

He bowed his head over our clasped hands and said nothing. Kili rubbed my shoulder. Legolas looked like he wanted to say something, but instead chose to be silent. Finally my eldest brother lifted his head and looked me in the eye. "All the same," he told me softly. "I am sorry." As I opened my mouth to protest, he cut me off. "You are my baby sister, Aeyera. It is my job to protect you."

Oin reappeared in the doorway. "Aeyera," he called, holding up his ear trumpet. "You must get some rest before tomorrow."

I took a deep breath and pulled my gaze from my brother, still thanking Eru that I was able to see at all. I thought back to the few months nearly a century ago, when a human necromancer used his magic to blind me. It had lasted until we reached Imladris, where Mithrandir had waited and restored my sight. Eru-willing, this would not become a habit. "What's tomorrow?"

Kili looked down, clenching his jaw. "Thorin's funeral," Oin answered quietly. "And Fili's coronation."

I nodded and stared down at my lap, silent. My brothers rose to leave, both kissing my forehead gently before departing. Finally it was just Kili and I. Neither of us spoke—we just sat there in silence, both basking in the knowledge that the other had made it.

"I'm sorry," I finally whispered. I didn't add what I was apologizing for; there was too much: my inability to protect Thorin, Thranduil's cowardice, which had cost Fili so much, and finally, all the pain I had caused him. I regretted not being able to protect him better, yes, but it was more than that. I didn't want to be a burden. I never did. I hated that Kili and Fili and Thorin had felt the need to protect me at the expense of their own lives. I hated it. I didn't want to be protected. If someone died protecting me, then their blood was on my hands.

"No," Kili breathed. He too stared down at his lap, his gaze unfocused.

I turned to look at him, confused. "What?"

"Stop apologizing, Aeyera," his voice broke, and his hands clenched into fists on the blankets. I nodded, my throat hurting, and looked away. After a few minutes of tense silence, he spoke once more. He sounded hesitant, but at the same time desperate and strong. He didn't meet my gaze. "Aeyera, will you tell me the truth about something?"

I nodded.

"When we were prisoners in Mirkwood, Thranduil said something in your own language right before he put you in your cell. It was the night you escaped. Do you remember?"

I nodded. _I remember._

"What did he say?"

I swallowed. I didn't want to delve into my memories. These were recent, but they were tied in with other memories of torture, pain, and loss. They were too painful, and yet I knew I had to tell him. "He told me that if I did not betray the company, he would kill you."

"In those words?" he asked.

"One more chance, traitor," I whispered, staring blankly ahead as my eyes filled with tears. "Or they all die, starting with the one you love most." I looked at Kili as the tears fell from my eyes. "Those were his exact words, Kili."

He nodded. The candlelight danced across his features, lighting his cheekbones and casting shadows over his eyes. "This is where I need you to be honest with me," he said, his voice hushed. "If you hadn't escaped that night, and if your brother hadn't let you out, what would you have done?"

"Bilbo let you out the next day," I replied, closing my eyes. "It would not have mattered."

"That's not what I asked." He took my hand, but I didn't grip his in return. I couldn't. The knowledge I had pushed down welled to the forefront of my mind. "If you hadn't escaped, if Bilbo hadn't come… I am asking you if you would have done it. Would you have betrayed us?"

A vision formed, capturing my attention. Images played out in my mind. I knew I was seeing another reality, one where I had been far less fortunate than I had been here. My choices and chance had saved me from this fate, but… I had come so close to losing everything. There were two other realities I had avoided, two choices I could have made; and the first was of my refusal to betray the company.

I saw myself in Mirkwood, kneeling before Thranduil. Guards held me down. I spat at him as I defied him, not believing that he would kill the company. I was wrong. Eru, I was wrong. I was forced to watch as each of them was dragged out in front of the others and murdered. The screams of the dwarves tore at my mind. I was wrapped in chains, unable to do anything but watch and pray for a miracle as my sanity slipped away and my screams filled the cavern. None came. Finally it was only Thorin. He stared in absolute shock at the bodies of his nephews, his cousins, his friends—and then turned his gaze on me. Thranduil stepped up, smirking. My mind was all but gone, but still I caught his words: "Behold, Thorin Oakenshield—" he dragged me forward. "She refused to betray you. And she willingly cast aside the lives of your kin. This is where _loyalty _gets you," he snarled.

The look Thorin gave me… the _loathing _his gaze carried… it lasted but a moment before his life was snuffed out, but it burned through my soul, driving the last of my sanity away. Thranduil stepped over his corpse and stood before me. I stared at the bodies of my friends as tears poured down my cheeks. "Kill me," I whispered. I stared at Kili, shaking wildly, unable to tear my gaze away from the pool of blood gathering beneath him. "Kill me."

"No."

He cast me out into the wilds of Middle Earth, leaving me to wander alone in my insanity until I wasted away to nothing, forever plagued my the memories of seeing my friends cut down in front of me because of my choice. I was driven mad by it. I watched myself die, withering away until I fell, alone, somewhere beyond the edges of all maps.

Then the vision changed. Once more I saw myself in Mirkwood on my knees, bloody rags hanging from my starved form, but this time I nodded, tears running down my face as I gave in, unwilling to risk the lives of my friends. I heard Thranduil's command: I must tell _no one_. If I were to tell the dwarves, they would die, and then I would as well. I saw Thranduil shove me into my cell, a smirk on his face: he had gotten what he wanted. I saw Bilbo let us out, saw us ride the barrels down the river to Bard's barge, and I knew it all was according to Thranduil's plan. I saw myself sneaking away from the company in the dead of night and sending messages to Thranduil of the company's movements, each time with tears on my face and curses on my tongue. I saw myself standing atop the gates of Erebor as Thranduil revealed my treachery to the dwarves. I watched as Thorin struck me, watched as the rest of the company looked on, impassive, but for a few, who stared at me in confusion and hurt. And I saw Kili's face: he was heartbroken, and he _hated_ me. I saw the battle. I still fought for them, but this time Maladernil and his army never came. I watched as I fell in battle, defending Thorin from Azog. I saw the aftermath as well. All the company remained alive, even Thorin. I saw my brothers mourning me, along with all my friends who had fallen in this life. They had survived, because I had not called them to war.

Would I have betrayed them? Even to save them?

I saw Thorin pass away of old age, watched as Fili ascended the throne. He walked without a limp, and his wife and children sat at his right hand. Kili stood at his left, his… I shut my eyes… his wife and child beside him. So he moved on then. He was happy, and his family surrounded him. Mine was the only life lost, and all was well.

The visions faded. I felt a shift in my mind as the visions turned to memories and settled there, tearing at my sanity. I opened my eyes and gazed at Kili, tears running down my cheeks. "Yes," I whispered, my heart breaking. "To save you, yes."

His heartbroken look mirrored the one in my vision. "But why?"

"Because if I had not, you all would have been slaughtered."

"No one can know the future."

"I can."

He stared at me, confused.

"I can see it, Kili. I have seen it. And Kili, your life is worth more to me than my own. Kili, the future was set. I betrayed you, but you lived. All of you, even Thorin—" my voice broke. "You all lived. None of my people died."

"But if you had not betrayed us, what then?" he asked. I stared blankly at him, the vision still fresh in my mind. Something flashed, and I flinched, and suddenly I saw him lying on the floor, as still and cold as he had been in Thranduil's dungeons. I saw his blood pooling on the floor, lifeless brown eyes staring into nothing. I choked and clamped my hands over my ears, screwing my eyes shut as I began screaming. My body shook wildly, and I curled into a ball, my limbs tangled amongst the blankets.

I could not tell which reality was which. The visions pressed down on me from all sides. The battle was lost; the battle was won. I was alive; I was dead. The company had survived; the company had been slaughtered. It was my fault. No, it wasn't. I didn't betray them. Didn't I? Was I in Erebor? Was I dead?

Kili's voice pulled me back. I was curled in the fetal position, my hands pressed tightly over my ears, whimpering. He wrapped his arms around me, brushing his fingers through my matted hair. "It's alright," he whispered. "I'm sorry. You're going to be alright."

"The voices, Kili," I rasped, shuddering. "They're in my head. Get them out. _Please_."

"I'm going to find help," he said. He disappeared from my side. Without him there, I slipped away, and by the time he returned, I had fallen into a deep, troubled sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes the next morning was Kili's face. There were dark circles beneath his eyes, and his skin was drawn and pale. His eyes were hollow and blank, but they focused on me instantly. His lips curled up in a slight smile, and he moved to sit on the edge of my bed. At some point during the night, someone had moved me and covered me with blankets, nearly smothering me. Kili took my hand carefully, his eyes darting back and forth between mine. His fingers stroked the back of my hand. "How are you?" he asked. His voice was raspy, and it was not hard to see that he had not slept.

The memories from the night before rushed back, and I closed my eyes against the mental onslaught. One memory in particular haunted me: the image of Kili standing with a wife and a child. If I was his One, then… then how was that possible? Did he not love me as I did him? "I'll manage," I whispered. My throat hurt horribly, throbbing whenever I tried to swallow, but it hurt less than my heart did. I felt sticky and weak, and I wanted nothing more than to hide under the covers and go back to sleep.

He chuckled lightly, then bent down and kissed my forehead gently. "I'm glad you are awake," he said softly. "You worried me last night." He paused for a moment, eyeing me hesitantly. "What happened?"

I closed my eyes. He had pushed me too far the night before, and he did not have the right to do so again. "Kili—"

"I need to know," he told me, squeezing my hand.

"No, you don't," I replied firmly, pushing myself up and sitting cross-legged on the bed. "Because at this moment I myself do not know what happened, and it would be unwise for me to try and explain before I have the answers." I needed to find someone with the gift of sight like I had, someone who could explain what I had seen.

He nodded, still uncertain, but I was saved by the arrival of Tauriel and Legolas, who entered the ward just as Kili opened his mouth to speak. "Aeyera, it is nearly time."

"Time for—?" I stopped short as the memories came back: Thorin's burial, Fili's coronation. "Oh."

"Tauriel is going to help you," Legolas continued softly, nodding his confirmation at what I had said.

Kili touched my hand, dark eyes pleading and apologetic. "May I escort you once you are ready?"

I nodded. "Of course, Kili."

He nodded, looking slightly happier. The dwarf prince then rose, though he looked very annoyed to have to do so, and strode to the door, glancing back at me as he left. Legolas followed, and the instant the doors shut I groaned and fell back against the bed. My head ached, and I pressed my hands to my temples. I needed Kili's interrogations to end before I lost my mind. I winced, recognizing the truth behind the thought. I had briefly lost my mind the night before, an experience I was not keen on repeating.

I let Tauriel help me into a separate chamber and undressed. As a child, she had often helped me get ready, and so her being there did not bother me so long as her back was turned as I got into and out of the water. As it was now, I needed her help in getting into the basin, since my leg would shake and burn violently whenever I placed my weight upon it. With Tauriel's help I stepped into the stone tub in the floor, pleasantly surprised at the feel. It was already filled with warm water, and I sunk into it, lost in my thoughts. My thigh and calf burned, but I soaked the leg anyway. I had suffered through more pain than this in my lifetime; a little sting didn't do much. At least, that is what I told myself as I squeezed my thigh with both hands and ground my teeth together, waiting for the pain to lessen.

Tauriel poured a bucket of cold water on my head, effectively startling me from my thoughts. "You are not alright," she said instantly, speaking over my sputtering protests. "I heard you screaming last night." I flinched away from her, sinking deeper into the water and wrapping my arms around my chest. "Please tell me," she whispered. "Let me help you."

I took a deep breath. "I had a vision," I told her, staring straight ahead. "A vision of what would have come to pass in Thranduil's palace had I been forced to choose between betraying the dwarves or not."

"What happened?" She sounded both confused and alarmed, and I couldn't blame her. If it were she telling me that she was seeing visions of an alternate present, I would be alarmed as well.

"That's just it," I said miserably, lifting my hands helplessly and then dropping them back into the bathwater. "It… they both were so horrible. When I refused to betray them, Thranduil had them slaughtered in front of me. When I agreed… everything spiraled out of control. Kili hated me. I died in battle, but none of the company did, and none of the Rivendell elves came to help, so none of them died. I was the only casualty, and everything turned out alright, but… but Kili go married. He had a child. I don't—" I spread out my hands as tears filled me eyes. "I thought I was his One," I whispered, looking down.

"Aeyera, look at me." I craned my neck to meet her gaze over my shoulder, sniffing. My nose was running, and I wiped it, annoyed. "What you saw… I know it was hard on you. Your behavior last night proved that. But it isn't real, it never was, and it never will be."

"How can you be certain?" I asked brokenly.

"I—" she seemed at a loss for words. "Because Thranduil is dead. He cannot hurt you anymore. Is that not proof enough?"

"But what of Kili? I saw him, he was married with a child, he—"

"Do you know it was his wife and child?" she countered. "How could you have known?"

"I—" I paused, thinking. "I don't know, but there is no other explanation."

"Aeyera—"

"Tauriel, I need to leave."

She stopped trying to talk over me and stared at me instead, her mouth open. After a few moments, she spoke, gasping. "What?"

I turned back and scrubbed the dirt from my skin, speaking to the bathwater. "I have to leave Erebor. I cannot stay here."

"But what about Kili?"

I scrubbed soap into my hair, working around my courtship braid and scratching away at the dried blood on my scalp. "I am not leaving forever, Tauriel, but I need answers. I… if I am to marry Kili, I need to know that I am his One, that this woman from my vision is not real."

"Don't you trust him?" she poured another bucket of cold water on my head, ignoring my growling and muttering as she did so. I washed the soap from my face, rubbing it from my eyes.

"I do," I said slowly, glancing down in disgust at the rusty water I now sat in. "I trust him with my life, and he trusts me with his. Therefore I must know the truth about my visions; if I do not learn it, we both will be hurt. Besides," I tried to jest. "It wouldn't do for a princess to lose her mind, would it?" I tried to make it sound like a joke, but my voice cracked.

Tauriel sighed and helped me into a towel and out of the tub. She handed me a set of clean underclothes and turned her back as I dried myself and dressed, then came back and helped me into the corset and black dress. I left my hair the way it was, the only decoration being the betrothal braid. I didn't feel the need to dress up for this, as if I were celebrating something. I was mourning the loss of a friend, and I would not spend hours primping myself beforehand. As I turned to go, Tauriel stopped me and placed my crown upon my head, ignoring my protests.

"You are the princess. Show it." She helped me back to the infirmary, letting me lean against her when I needed to. Kili and Fili were waiting for me, both dressed in chainmail with black tunics pulled over it. Kili wore silver armor, while Fili wore gold, the symbol of the king. Each had a thin circlet upon his head, the crown made of the same metal as the armor, and both wore their betrothal braids proudly. I wondered when Kída would arrive; Fili seemed to miss her very much. Speaking of Fili—he leaned heavily upon his cane, but to my confusion, he held another in his other hand.

"For you," he explained softly, handing the carved wooden rod to me.

I took it gingerly and tried it, relieved when the pressure disappeared from my leg, transferred into the staff. "Thank you," I whispered. I moved to my cot and pulled my bad from beside it. I reached down into the recesses of it and pulled out a carved wooden shield I had carried since before the Carrock but had forgotten until then.

"Thorin's oaken shield," Fili breathed.

I nodded silently and cradled the branch in my arms like a mother would her child. "I saved it from the fire," I murmured. "But I forgot about it until now." I looked up at the crown prince. "I was to give it back to him."

He nodded, too overcome to speak. Kili offered me his arm, a miniscule smile on his face. He was proud of me, I realized, proud of my actions. I slid the shield onto my forearm, unable to carry it, use my staff, and hold Kili's arm all at once. I hoped no one would find it disrespectful. "It's time."

I nodded and grasped his arm with a shaking hand, letting him lead me from the room and through endless stone corridors. We headed deeper and deeper into the mountain, and my trepidation grew with each step until my knees began to shake and my palms began to sweat.

_I can't do this._

"Kili—"

We stopped before an enormous set of wooden doors. Fili stood perfectly still in front of us, his grip tightening on his cane. I froze, my breath catching. My entire body, including my face and eyes, felt numb, as if asleep. My tongue felt like lead.

My betrothed took a deep breath. "It's time," he repeated, this time in a whisper as the doors creaked open, revealing a cavernous room lit by hundreds of torches. Hundreds of dwarves and men already filled the room, although the races were blatantly segregated, each glaring at each other distrustfully. The tension between the two did not last long, however, for the instant the doors opened, all eyes turned to focus on us. Whispers filled the room as hundreds of pairs of eyes focused on the shield upon my arm. Kili tensed and took a deep breath, then followed his brother into the center of the room where Dwalin, Balin, and Dain already stood behind a slab of stone, upon which Thorin's body lay. The brothers nodded when they saw me but did not smile, while Dain eyed me suspiciously, glaring down at the shield. The rest of the company, Bilbo included, stood a few yards to the left with Bard and his children. My brothers and Tauriel joined them.

To my dismay, we came to a stop directly beside the bier. I averted my eyes from Thorin's body; I couldn't bear to look at him. The grief in the room was palpable, and I felt the anger of hundreds of dwarves aimed at me_. _

_ Thorin died for me. It's my fault._

Balin began to speak, sharing the testimony of Thorin's life to all in the room. I kept my eyes trained on the ground as they filled with tears, thinking back to a night many months ago spent by a campfire overlooking the Shire. Balin continued speaking of Thorin's great deeds, and one line echoed up through the past and into the present. _"There is one whom I could follow. There is one I could call king."_

"And I did," Balin continued, his sorrow evident in his choked voice. "For too short of a time, I did."

Dwalin spoke for a long time of Thorin's heroic deeds in battle and how much of a father he was to his people, especially to Fili and Kili. As Balin began to speak of the time spent with the company, I finally looked up. I couldn't bear it any longer. Thorin looked the same as he always has; he appeared to be sleeping. His eyes were closed. His dark, silver-streaked hair had been carefully brushed back. For the first time I noticed the braid in his hair, and I recognized it as the symbol of his marriage to Nadaí. I remembered our conversation a lifetime ago in Beorn's garden about his wife and unborn child, but I had never thought back on it. Not until now. A small shred of peace settled upon me. He was with them now.

He was dressed in a royal blue tunic over gold armor, his sword by his side. The Arkenstone was nowhere to be seen, and I wondered if Bard still had possession of it. I was relieved to see that Thorin was not adorned with a cape or a great crown like he had worn in his final days, but instead looked the part of the honorable prince I had so willingly served for so long. Balin's speech began drawing to a close, but this time I paid attention. He was talking about me.

"Thorin Oakenshield was many things. A leader, a king, a friend—" his voice broke, and the dwarves around the room murmured their agreement. "And although he was temped by the darkness, he was able to find his way back into the light, in the end." He paused for a moment before continuing, pulling himself together. "In the confusion before the battle, he made a grave mistake. He sent away the princess Aeyera, banishing her from the mountain. Her response was to muster a defense for the mountain against the Elvenking, now passed, and the pale orc, who was slain in battle by Thorin Oakenshield. Aeyera fought for Thorin, inadvertently risking her life as well as those of her kin." Horrible, overwhelming guilt bubbled up in my chest. I couldn't breathe. My grip on Kili's arm tightened, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Kili look at me in concern. "During the time spent with the company, she saved the lives of the king and his nephews countless times, and to repay his debt, he saved her in return." Balin turned to me, his eyes misty and red. "The company, I included, were not present during most of the battle. None of the company was present when Thorin fell except for his nephews and the Princess, and only she heard his final words." I froze, eyes wide, understanding suddenly what was about to happen. "Princess Aeyera," he said, his voice echoing around the room. "Would you tell us what happened the day of the battle?"

I didn't move but instead stared out at the assembly. A strange ringing filled my ears. _I can't do this. _And in that moment, I realized why. It would make it real. I wondered if I could run away and get away with it; I doubted it. Kili leaned over so that his lips brushed my ear, his breath warming my skin. "It's going to be alright," he whispered. "I'm right here."

I gave a small nod and stood up straighter, taking a deep breath. Kili wrapped his right hand around mine, securing it against his arm. My other hand gripped the staff with nearly enough force to snap it in two. "The day of the battle—" my voice came out as a squeak, and I started again, struggling to keep from looking down at Thorin's body. "The day of the battle—" my voice broke. The assembly's whispers grew louder, and Kili squeezed my hand. Fili glanced back at me, frowning in concern. "The battle was a blur," I blurted, my voice hoarse. "I only remember bits and pieces of it. Fighting alongside my brothers. Being knocked off my horse. What I remember most clearly were the actions of the company at the gate, both before and during the battle." I paused for breath. My whole body was shaking, and I wondered if my trembling was visible from where the others stood. "Before the battle, Thorin was consumed by darkness. His mind had been taken over, and his actions were that of another dwarf, one whom I had not known." The dwarvish portion of the assembly muttered angrily, eyeing me with distrust. I caught a few snatches of hissed comments: they thought I was trying to dirty Thorin's memory. I continued on as if I had not heard them, although my grip on my staff tightened. "However, something happened between his first and last appearance at the gate. The first, he was corrupted. The Thorin I had known and sworn to serve and protect was gone. I myself know what it is like to be overcome by darkness, and I know how hard it is to return from it. Somehow, by the time the company joined the battle, Thorin had been freed from it."

The room grew silent, the dwarves watching me curiously now. "By the time the company joined the battle, it was going poorly. The arrival of thirteen warriors turned the tide, thanks to Thorin." I paused. This was going to be the most difficult to say. "I joined Prince Kili and fought with him. Somehow we reached the edge of the enemy lines, and it was there that the pale orc attacked. It… he didn't attack Thorin," I stammered, heat rising up my neck and warming my face. "Not at first. Many of you know me as the exile, the elf princess who tried to attack the dragon Smaug on the day he attacked Erebor."

Astonished murmurs filled the room for a split second before I continued speaking again. "What you do not know is what happened afterwards. My brother took me from the hillside before I could help, and brought me nearly to the edge of the Greenwood. I left him there, intent on never returning. Less than a fortnight later, I was captured by the Pale Orc. I was held prisoner in Dol Guldur for twenty years, and not a day went by that I did not pray for death. I was tortured both physically and mentally, and only recently was the madness that was planted there driven from my mind." Astonished and horrified gasps and murmurs filled the room, and it was a few minutes before I could reign in control once more. Today was not about me. It was about Thorin. "The skin changer Beorn found me and rescued me one day; I later discovered that the orc had gone to prepare for the battle of Azanulbizar. It was furious that I escaped, and it spent a very long time tracking me down. It hunted the company both for revenge on Thorin and to kill me. It found me, nearly alone, during the battle. By the grace of Eru he did not know that Kili was Thorin's blood, and he only knocked him aside to get to me. In my surprise, I did not see the goblin behind me until it had stabbed me in the calf. I cut it down but was unable to stand, and I was unable to fight the pale orc off. He swung his sword at me and threw me into the rocks. I do not know how I survived."

I frowned, glancing down at my hip. Fili and Kili exchanged significant looks, and I decided to confront them about it later on. For now, I had to continue. I had to finish, for him—for Thorin. "Azog lifted his sword to run me through, when Fili and Kili dragged me out of the way. At the same time, Thorin attacked the orc from behind, impaling him with his blade." I swallowed. "Thorin started towards me, but the orc was not yet dead. It turned and stabbed him in the chest—" my voice turned into a squeak as my grip on Kili's hand and arm grew painfully tight. "And then fell over, dead. Fili and Kili ran to drive off the orcs and goblins that had begun to swarm us, and I dragged myself to Thorin's side. He was still alive, but barely. He apologized to me, to the company, and then…" I gulped, fighting back tears. "Then his spirit left him." I lifted my voice, looking to the company. "He did not die as Thorin, son of Thrain, King Under the Mountain. He fell as Thorin Oakenshield."

Balin leaned against his younger brother, grief contorting his features as tears rolled down his face. I released my hold on Kili and stared down at Thorin's oaken shield. All the eyes in the assembly rested upon it as well. "I found this after Azog first attacked us many months ago," I said softly. Somehow my words still echoed around the room, which had gone dead silent. "I forgot about it until today." I moved to stand directly beside my fallen king as tears finally began to fall down my cheeks. "And I return it to you now," I told Thorin, my voice a whisper. "I would have followed you to the end, my friend."

With quivering fingers I strapped the shield to his arm, and pressed my first two fingers to my lips and then moved them to rest against his forehead. His skin was cold, and I was struck by the terrible reality that he was gone. He wasn't coming back. Kili reached out and took my hand when I joined him once more. "He fell a hero."

Fili and Kili both spoke, but I couldn't listen anymore. After an eternity, the funeral ended, and most of the dwarves and men departed. Those that remained were the company and I, and Dain. Dain came over to speak to me, downcast. "I want to thank ye for speaking," he told me gruffly. "I've heard a wee bit about your story from others, but never as much as ye shared today. My cousin must have cared a good deal for ye if he was willing to die for ye, lass. I thank ye for protecting he and his nephews like ye did. And I wish to say that I approve of your choice, lad," he added to Kili, nodding to our braids. I nodded and bowed to him as he left. The group moved to leave, ready for the coronation. I noticed that Bilbo stayed behind, clutching something in his fist.

"Would you give me a moment?" I asked Kili softly. "I want to say goodbye."

He nodded and kissed my forehead, then followed his brother out. It would be a few minutes before the coronation began, and it would take place only a few levels beside the old throne room. Because of the damage done to the original, a new one had been constructed across from the old, and I had not seen it yet, although it was one of the few places in the mountain I knew how to reach. I reentered the room and closed the door quietly behind me.

Bilbo stood beside Thorin, his voice strained. "I wish I had had more time, Thorin," he whispered. "You shouldn't have had to die, and… and I wish I had gotten the chance to speak to you before you passed." He swallowed. I felt as though I were intruding. "I—I want you to know that I'm glad to have shared in your perils, Thorin. Each and every one of them. It is far more than any Baggins deserves. You were one of the best friends I ever had." He swiped at his eyes impatiently, taking a deep breath. "Why did you have to go?" he whispered brokenly. I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, it was to see a slight bulge in the fabric above Thorin's heart and Bilbo pressing an acorn into one of Thorin's hands. The hobbit wrapped Thorin's fingers around it and then stepped away, taking quick, sharp breaths.

I moved closer, leaning heavily upon my staff. "I'm sorry," I told the halfling, my throat aching from suppressing my sobs. "I'm sorry."

Bilbo looked up at me. If he was surprised to see me, he didn't show it. "It wasn't your fault." He gave me a sad half-smile, then his face fell again. He turned back to the bier. "It doesn't seem real, does it?" he asked me softly.

"No, it doesn't," I agreed softly, placing my right hand on his shoulder. "I don't think it ever will. Did you know that he had a wife?" I asked softly.

Bilbo looked up at me in astonishment. "He did?"

"Aye. She passed many years ago, and she—she was with child." I looked down at the king, feeling my grief weighing heavily upon my shoulders. "But he is with them now," I murmured, squeezing his shoulder.

"Aye," Bilbo agreed. "Then he is where he belongs." He hesitated, then looked up at me. "Bard returned the Arkenstone to me, and I… I gave it back." He pointed to Thorin's chest. "It should be buried with him." I nodded, unable to speak, and Bilbo took my hand and led me from the room. Later today we would return so that Thorin's body would be sealed within the mountain, but for now we went down to the coronation.

We entered through the back minutes before it began. The room was large and bright, with windows to allow the sunlight inside and pale stone to reflect it. A mahogany throne sat on a slightly raised platform at the center of the end of the room, and all the dwarves stood in rows on either side, leaving an aisle down the middle of the hall. A few others, including my brothers and Bard and his children, stood in the back, still able to see over the dwarves' heads. Kili and Dain stood at the front of the room, and I was ushered there to stand beside Kili, who held a red pillow with a golden crown resting upon it. Finally it began, and Fili strode up the aisle between the dwarves, his head held high. Sorrow darkened his eyes, but his face was calm. He knelt down on the steps below the throne. To my surprise, it was Balin who was to crown him king. There were many traditional lines that were to be said, and most were in the dwarvish language, which I did not know. Finally Balin took the golden circlet from Fili's head and rested it gently on a red, velvet pillow and lifted a golden crown from the pillow Kili held.

He faced Fili, this time speaking in Westron so that all might hear and understand.

"Do you swear to defend this kingdom?"

Fili stared straight ahead, his blue eyes shining gold in the sunlight. "I swear."

"Do you swear to protect the lives of your people, even at the expense of your own?"

He took a breath, the movement sending golden light through his hair. "I swear."

"Do you swear to strive to be true, just, honorable, and worthy of this title for as long as your reign may last, even unto the ending of the earth?"

"I swear."

"Then on this day I, Balin, son of Fundin, proclaim you, Fili, son of Dís, King of Erebor." He placed the crown upon Fili's head as the young king closed his eyes briefly. Fili then rose and ascended the throne before turning and facing his people, a solemn look upon his face. He stood tall, and the sunlight illuminated his regal figure. It was impossible to find fault in this young king. Each and every person in the room took up the chant, "Long live the king!" And as it was repeated it resounded louder and louder until it seemed that the mountain itself trembled from the force of it. I still was uneasy. I had a decision to make, and I knew that it would affect everything. But for now, I pushed it away. Today was not for me.


	21. Chapter 21

I stood beside Thorin's tomb that night, my right hand resting against the stone while my left gripped my staff. I had been dismissed from the infirmary earlier that evening after Thorin's funeral and Fili's coronation were complete. Kili waited for me in my room; he wanted to talk about what had happened earlier that day.

I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against the stone. "I'm sorry, my friend," I murmured, taking a deep breath. "I wish I could have done more, but… I couldn't. And I think you understood that. I wanted to say… You told me that I made Kili a better man, that I made him happy, and to marry him. I want to believe that, but it's hard, what with everything that's happened. I don't want to make a mistake, and I don't want to hurt him, I just…" I took a breath, then released it, then took another one quickly, trying to calm down. "Tell me what to do, please."

"You won't find any answers down here, Aeyera."

I turned to see Fili standing by the door, watching me with kind, sad eyes. He crossed the tomb to stand beside me, his cane clicking against the stone, and laid his hand upon the grave next to mine. "Your Highness," I greeted, a small smile on my lips. He had changed out of his armor and now wore a dark blue tunic similar to the one Thorin now wore. I had changed into newer, nicer versions of my old travelling clothes that Tauriel had provided, although my crown still rested upon my head. Besides the crowns upon our heads, the staffs in our hands, and the dismal setting, we could have been back on the quest, standing within a stone outcropping like we had all those times it had rained.

"Princess," he nodded. A slight grin crossed his face, but it disappeared so quickly that I wondered if I had imagined it. "I heard what you said. About your trepidation regarding your marriage to my brother."

"Fili—"

He shook his head and held up his hand to stop me. "Let me speak." I did. "I do not know your story as well as my brother, but I know enough. I know you love him, and I know that you would die for him, as you've proven more times than I can count." I looked away, blinking back tears. "And I know he loves you, much more than he loves anyone else. Even me." I looked up in astonishment. "Do you know how I got this?" he asked, gesturing to his leg.

"Because you were protecting Thranduil."

He shrugged. "Yes, a bit. I wasn't protecting him as much as keeping the orcs away from you; he happened to be in the general vicinity. No, the reason I got this wound was because Kili wasn't right beside me like I thought. Do you know why?" I shook my head. "Because he was trying to fight his way back to you. No, don't you dare give me that look," he scolded. Guilt surged within me. It was my fault. "It wasn't your fault or Kili's fault; I should have been paying more attention. My point in telling you this is not to make you feel guilty but to show you how much you mean to my brother. If he left me to get to you, it means that he loves you very dearly. If you were to leave, or something were to happen to you, it would devastate him."

We both moved to the opposite wall and slid to the ground, neither able to prop ourselves up for any longer. Our staffs rested between us on the floor. I couldn't bring myself to respond to Fili's words, so I stared at the stone ahead of me, waiting for him to speak again.

"Why did you save him?"

I looked over at him, my brow furrowing. "What?"

"Why did you save him?" he repeated.

I pulled my good knee to my chest and wrapped my arms around it, staring blankly at the wall in front of me. "I made a promise."

"No, it's more than that. That may have been the case in the beginning, but it's not anymore. Why did you save him? Tell me the truth."

"Because I would never forgive myself if anything were to happen to him that I could have prevented."

"Why?" When I didn't answer, he asked another question, dragging me back into the memories of the quest. "Do you remember when you found out who Kili and I really were?"

I nodded, thinking about how furious I had been. I had ignored them and then fought both of them—and won.

"You were angry at both of us, but mostly at Kili. Why?"

"Because I felt that he had lied to me. Betrayed me. I cared about him, and…"

"And?" He continued prying, nearing the core of my feelings, the heart that I had tried so hard to seal off.

"I loved him. I didn't know it then, but I loved him."

"And you still do."

"I still do," I repeated softly.

"Then stop worrying. Aeyera, listen to your future brother in law. I know Kili better than anyone. I have always watched over him, always taken care of him. Do you think I would be encouraging you to marry him if I didn't think you were what is best for him?" I shook my head. "Right. Aeyera, loving you has made him a better person than he ever was or could have been without knowing you."

"I had a vision," I blurted suddenly, cutting Fili off. I had to tell him, to explain myself. I needed his advice. "I saw what would have happened if I had died in battle but all of you had lived. Kili had a wife, a child. How could I be his One if he had a wife in another time without me?"

"What was the context of this…vision?"

I explained my betrayal and actions to him as well as the alternative, watching his face for any rage or distrust. There was none.

"Ever since I was a boy, I have nearly always been able to tell if people are lying to me. There are a few exceptions, but in the cases of those whom I was close to, I would always know. I know you very well, Aeyera." He continued. "If you had betrayed us and gone about sending messages to Thranduil, I would have known. Do you know what would have happened once I found out? I would have kept Kili away from you, explained your betrayal to him. Odds are that his feelings for you would not have grown the way they did, he would not have proposed to you, and he would have gone on without knowing that you were his One. As I said before, I will do what is best for my brother. It is also very likely that he would have had to marry for position, especially is Thorin was King. Fortunately for both of you, this future does not exist. It never did. Explain something to me, Princess. You claim to love my brother and yet you always seem to be searching for something to prove that you do not, or that he does not love you. Why?"

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back until it rested against the wall. "Because in my imprisonment, I was tortured both physically and mentally. In my torment, I would see people that were not there, experience things that did not exist. Even now I fear that all this is simply a hallucination and that when the dawn breaks I will awaken to find that it all was a dream. A part of me feels that my love for Kili if the only thing I am truly certain of, and yet at the same time I am afraid that my feelings are confused and misguided, and not returned. I am afraid that Kili's love for me is nothing more than a passing fancy. I am afraid, Fili."

"I know. But you don't have to be. I've seen you around him when you're frightened. You gravitate towards him, and you automatically relax, as if you feel safer with him." I nodded. "If this is real, which I believe it is, then go after it. Believe in it. Besides," he added. "I'm certain the Valar would be quite displeased if the gift they gave you went unused."

He chuckled at my stunned expression, and a real smile crossed his face as I sputtered incoherent responses, unable to come up with a proper retort. "I am just being honest, Princess." He took my hand, pushing me carefully to my feet and handing me my staff. I helped him up as well. "Go. If you think you could live without him, or he without you, you are terribly mistaken. But it is your choice."

I nodded and departed, desperately needing to speak to Kili. I hobbled up to my chambers as quickly as my injured leg would allow me, cursing Azog and the small orc that had stabbed me as pain raced through my body. When I reached the room, I was out of breath and in pain, barely able to stand up straight. Kili opened the door when I knocked and helped me to the bed, letting me lean on him. He lifted me up and set me on the mattress, making sure I was comfortable before sitting beside me.

"I'm sorry for what happened last night," he whispered before I could speak. He stared into the fire, shadows dancing across his face. "I didn't mean to push you, I just… I wanted to know…" he trailed off, anguish written on his face.

"I understand," I replied softly. "But when you asked me to answer whether or not I would have chosen to betrayed you, the consequences of that choice were made known to me. You should know that had I been confronted with anything but your death and the death of the company, I would not have betrayed you. But I could not let you—any of you—die. Had I been forced to make the decision, I would have chosen to allow you to live. But it killed me to betray you; I was the only member of the company to fall."

"I should not have asked," he murmured, placing his head in his hands and tangling his fingers in his hair. "You spent weeks being tortured, all the while refusing to betray us. You lost everything, but still you were strong. I am sorry. I should have trusted you." He looked up at me with sad brown eyes, pleading for me to forgive him.

"I forgive you," I told him, leaning into his chest. "Just… please do not ask me about that or about choices I would have made had circumstances been different. I cannot bear to focus on them."

"Is that what triggers the visions?" Kili asked. His chest vibrated as he spoke, and his arm wrapped itself around my shoulders, warming me. "Thinking about what might have been?"

"Considering all the choices I've made, I would not be surprised. When I think about it, the question that causes it seems to be 'what if?'" I thought about all the visions, puzzling them out and piecing them together. "All the visions I had of the final battle were caused by me wondering _if_ I could protect you, wondering _if_ you would be alright. These recent ones were wondering _what_ would have happened _if_ my choices had been different. Perhaps this is why there are so few with this gift," I muttered as an afterthought. "Figuring it all out is enough to drive one mad."

Kili winced, clearly recalling the events of several nights prior when I had, in fact, lost my mind fir a brief while. "Could you find help?" Kili asked, composing himself. "Someone to teach you to understand your gift?"

"If I had centuries to learn, then yes," I exhaled, feeling suddenly exhausted. "But I do not. I could ask for control, but even that would be limited; it has run wild for too long."

"What can I do to help you?" he asked earnestly. "I'll do anything."

I stared at him, my mind blanking out of shock. I sat as still as a stone for nearly a minute before bursting into tears. Kili didn't try to say anything, or keep me from crying. He just held me close to him, rocking me back and forth until my tears were spent. "Please help me to understand," Kili whispered. "What can I do?"

"I can't stay in the mountain," I murmured, hiccupping. I realized that I hadn't told him this before, and I hoped he wouldn't be too hurt. But I couldn't keep it from him anymore. "This place… everything that happened here, it… the darkness… it will drive me mad, Kili. I will never be able to come back from it."

"Where will we go?" he asked after a long pause.

"I don't know. Perhaps Imladris. I cannot go to Lothlórien and risk bringing darkness to such a pure place, and I can no longer return to the Greenwood after everything that has happened. Perhaps i—" I stopped mid word and turned to stare at Kili, nearly struck dumb. "We?" I squeaked.

He chuckled softly and nodded. "Of course, 'we.'" He touched the beaded betrothal braid in my hair. "Do you know what this means? This means that we are bound together. That's what the braid symbolizes, and such a braid cannot lightly be torn apart. It's stayed in for weeks, even lasting through a battle; that's what's so powerful about them. Only the giver or the receiver can unravel them."

I nodded and rested against him, closing my eyes as his fingers brushed lightly through my hair. I dropped off to sleep, feeling safe and secure. Right before I fell asleep, however, a thought struck me, and my eyes shot open. "Bilbo is leaving," I blurted. "He's going to try and sneak away."

Kili jerked awake. "How d'you know?" his voice was slurred and heavy with sleep.

I thought about it. He had been jittery all the day and night before, going through his bags and rushing to and fro, and then disappearing for a long while into the catacombs. "He was acting strange today. I'd guess that he'd leave in the morning, so we need to be at the front gates around sunrise to wait for him."

Kili nodded tiredly and sat up with a grunt as I lay back down, kicking my boots off. He climbed out of the bed and made his way over to the door. I heard him speaking lowly, then heard someone else answer. He closed the door and crossed back to me, lying down next to me. I curled up against him, my back against his chest. One of his arms rested under his head, the other wrapped itself securely around my waist.

I finally fell asleep, knowing that my choice was coming, but also knowing that it would not be whether or not I loved Kili, because my love for him was the one thing I was certain of. No, the choice would be whether or not I would leave, whether or not I would marry him: my sanity or his happiness? Right as I slipped into a dreamless sleep, my thoughts corrected themselves. My sanity would always be questionable; who knew when another episode would strike. But my happiness… I would never be happy without Kili, or he without me. My leaving would be selfish, destroying both he and I in one fell blow.

I jerked awake the next morning and tried to leap out of the bed, only to be held in place by Kili's arm around my waist. I rolled over to face him and brushed his tangled hair away from his eyes. "Kili," I murmured softly. "Wake up."

His brown eyes fluttered open and blinked dazedly before focusing on me. He smiled lazily. "G'morning," he groaned, stretching.

"'Morning," I replied softly, gently disentangling myself from him. I took his hand and pulled him to the edge of the bed as I sat down and pulled my boots back on. "We must hurry," I told him, standing and wrapping my cloak around my shoulders. Kili stood and teetered for a moment, blinking back sleep. He had fallen asleep fully dressed, so I took his hand and my staff and pulled him out the door, limping towards the front gate. Kili finally woke up and led me through several shortcuts, and we reached the gate in record time. To my surprise, the rest of the company was already there.

Kili nodded to Bofur. "Thank you for finding everyone."

The miner nodded, but before anyone could speak, Balin's reached my ears. I stood beside Kili and the rest of the company, my staff in my hand, waiting for Bilbo to emerge. We stood out of sight, waiting for him to come.

"There is to be a great feast tonight," Balin's voice echoed through the halls. "Songs will be sung, tales will be told, and Thorin Oakenshield will pass into legend."

Kili's grip on my hand tightened, and I squeezed his in return, my heart aching. Bilbo and Balin passed by the alcove we were gathered in, and I led the others out, standing in a line on the edge of the gate. Bilbo and Balin stood upon the bridge facing one another.

** "**I know that's how you must honor him, but to me, he was never that. He was...to me, he was—" Bilbo cleared his throat, his voice catching. "Well, I think I'll slip quietly away, would you tell the others I said goodbye?" Bilbo asked Balin, his voice cracking.

"You can tell them yourself," Balin said kindly.

Bilbo turned around to see me and the rest of the company gathered at the gate, all with grieved, sober expressions. Bilbo smiled through his sadness, letting out a chocked breath. "If any of you are ever passing Bag End, uh..." he looked up, his expression clearing. "Tea is at four; there's plenty of it—you are welcome any time." We bowed, honoring the brave little hobbit who had given up so much for a people he didn't know, a hobbit who had lost one of his best friends. He started to turn away but turned back around quickly with a small laugh. "Ah, don't bother knocking."

I chuckled, tears brimming in my eyes, and raised my hand in farewell, then stepped forward and crouched down before him so that we saw eye to eye. "Farewell, Master Baggins," I smiled, my eyes filling with tears. My voice was soft and controlled. I thought about Thorin's dying wish, to be forgiven, and I wished he had been able to know that it had been granted. "Go back to your books and your armchair. Plant your trees, watch them grow. If more people valued home above gold, this world would be a merrier place." I pressed my lips to his forehead gently, then pulled back to look him in the eye. "It has been an honor to fight beside you, my friend."

Bilbo took a deep breath. "I am glad to have known you, Aeyera," he smiled sadly. "And I thank you for all you have done for me. You should come back to the Shire someday," he added. "Lilliana will look forward to seeing you again."

I laughed softly, my heart heavy. My presence in the Shire would mean only that my husband had passed, and that I would be going to the Undying Lands, something that was impossible for me now.

As Bilbo backed away to leave, Gandalf knelt down with a smile on his weathered face and embraced me. "Farewell, Princess Aeyera. May we meet again someday."

I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his robe. "Goodbye, Mithrandir."

I stood with my fiancé, watching until the wizard and hobbit disappeared from view beyond the ridge. The company of Thorin Oakenshield was ended, the quest complete. Our journey was over. Kili took my hand once more, and I made a decision, thinking over everything that had happened the last few hours, weeks, months. I loved Kili, and I would marry him. Not right away, of course, but soon, and I would stay here. One day I might leave, but for now I would remain here with him where I belonged.

I turned suddenly and kissed him, smiling as his arms wrapped around me, one hand resting on my cheek. Kili needed me, and I needed him. We completed each other. One cannot be without that which makes it whole, and we could not be apart from one another. We would make mistakes, but we always would be there for each other to love and protect the other. And my heart warmed with the certainty that that would never change.

**End of Book 3**


	22. Chapter 22

**Epilogue:**

"Momma, Papa, wake up!"

I heard Kili groan as our six-year-old son bounced up and down on top of our bed. If measuring by human appearance, he looked to be about three years old. Because of his mixed heritage, he aged very similarly to Kili and I had; that is, very differently from a human. I opened my eyes and smiled at my beautiful, beautiful boy. He grinned back, brown eyes sparkling happily. His brown hair hung messily about his face, flying around as he continued to jump on Kili. He was careful around me though; ever since I told him about the baby I had in my tummy, he was always careful not to bounce on top of me.

Kili grumbled and sat up, and then caught up his son in his arms, hugging him close while the little boy cheered with glee. I closed my eyes and snuggled down into the blankets, resting my hands atop my swollen stomach. The baby kicked at my hand, and I smiled. "Momma, Uncle Fili sent me to find you! Auntie Kída is having her baby!"

My eyes snapped open, and I sat up as quickly as I could, throwing off the blankets. Kili leapt from the bed and ran over, handing me a cloak and sliding my boots on. I moved for the door as quickly as I could, moving more at a waddle than a run, while my son raced on ahead. "Kirin, wait!"

Kili walked beside me, his hand on my arm, helping me hurry along. "I feel like an Oliphant," I muttered. Kili let out a strangled laugh. I could feel him shaking. Fili and Kída were expected to bear heirs and had risen to expectations brilliantly. They had two sons right now and were about to have another child.

I have suffered three miscarriages since mine and Kili's marriage sixteen years before. When I first conceived Kirin, I was terrified that something was going to wrong, so when I found out that my baby and pregnancy was going to be alright, I had sat on the bed bawling my eyes out. Despite the Valar blessing me with the ability to bear children, Kili and I still had to deal with the fact that we were different creatures; dwarf and elf. So when I finally conceived… Kída had noticed my absence at a meeting and rushed over immediately to find out what was wrong. She and I had sat together, crying, until Kili had come home. When he saw his wife and sister-in-law sobbing on the bed he had immediately leapt to the worst possible conclusions and had immediately left again to find his mother and brother and check to make sure they were alright, sending out ravens to Mirkwood and the Dúnedain to check on Maladernil and Legolas. When he came back several hours later after finding out that everyone in our families was alright, utterly confused, I broke the news to him. He had stared at me, eyes shining, before a brilliant smile crossed his face and he scooped me into his arms, laughing and crying. When Kirin finally came, we were overjoyed. We had thought that he would be our only child, but it seems that the Valar had different plans, since less than six years later I had discovered that I had conceived again. Kili was frantically trying to keep me from anything sharp, blunt, or… anything other than pillows, really. He adored his baby boy, and I knew that he would adore this child as well.

I entered the delivery room, where an exhausted Kída lay holding a small, blanket wrapped bundle. Fili stared down at his child, love shining in his eyes. The baby had reached up and wrapped its tiny hands around one of the king's fingers. Fili looked up and smiled at his brother and I while Kída nodded us over. "It's a boy," Kída murmured, beaming. I gasped, eyes widening.

"Congratulations," I whispered, trying not to wake the baby. I leaned over to see him wrapped up in a little white and gold blanket, blonde fluff on his head and the edge of his jaw. "He's beautiful."

As I turned to smile at Kili, a sharp pain cut through my abdomen. I gasped and doubled over, my arms wrapping around my stomach protectively. "Kili—"

He placed his hands on my shoulders. "Aeyera? What's wrong?"

I didn't move, but took deep breaths. After nearly a minute without any more pain, I straightened up. I gave him a weak smile. "I'm alright, I just—" I cried out as another wave of pain hit me, and I sank to the ground, holding my stomach. "Kili—" Tears rolled down my cheeks. "Kili, the baby—"

Hands lifted me up and set me down on a bed. Contractions continued to hit me at strange times. Kili didn't let go of my hand. "You're going to be alright, Aeyera. Alright? Listen to me. You're going to be fine."

"The baby," I whimpered. "Kili, I want my baby." A scream tore from my throat, and I hung onto Kili's hand as I tried to sit up to alleviate the pain. I whimpered, pressing myself against the bed.  
"Momma?" I turned my head to see Kirin peering over the edge of the cot, his wide brown eyes filled with fright.

I moved my hand and brushed through his hair, gritting my teeth as another contraction hit. "Hello, baby."

"Are you alright?"

I took a deep breath, biting back tears. I didn't want him to see me like this. "Momma's just hurting, baby." I let out a weak cry as Oin entered the room.

"Alright, Aeyera," he told me. He had gotten a new ear trumpet since our arrival in Erebor, but his hearing had worsened. "I need you to sit back and relax as much as you can."

I obeyed, my eyes and jaw clamped shut. I could barely think through the pain. "Aeyera," Kili's soothing voice reached my ears. "I love you. You're going to be alright, I promise."

"You're going to have this baby sooner than expected," Oin announced.

"But it hasn't been nine months—did something go wrong?"

"I don't know, but your wife is going into labor now, Kili. I need you to look after your son, alright?"

Kirin was crying. He wanted to hug me, but Fili arrived and pulled him out of the room to see his new cousin. Kili stayed with me. Two midwives arrived, coaching me through the actions of childbirth. I had had Kirin, but it had been six years, and this one was far more painful than the first. Finally, after hours of labor, I finally had my baby. I lay back, tears still pouring down my cheeks. Oin and the midwives cleaned off the child and then handed the wrapped bundle to me. The baby was wrapped with a white and silver blanket, and light brown down covered its tiny head.

"It's a girl, Aeyera," Oin smiled proudly. I stared up at him with wide eyes, and then looked down at the baby girl with teary eyes.

"Hi, baby," I murmured. "You're so beautiful."

Kili was staring, dumbstruck, at the little girl, and then he knelt down and kissed me. His beard had thickened considerably in the last few years, and it tickled my skin. He then looked down at the little girl and kissed her forehead. "She's so beautiful," he murmured.

"What's her name?" Oin asked.

"Kiyera," Kili answered instantly.

"It's beautiful," I said, smiling down at my baby.

"Momma?"

Fili and Kirin peered into the room.

"How are you?" My brother-in-law asked.

I smiled brightly at him. I was exhausted, but I was so, so overjoyed. My baby was beautiful and perfect and healthy. "I'm doing well," I answered softly. Fili nudged his nephew gently into the room, following after him.

"Kída's asleep," he told me, shutting the door behind him.

"Kirin," I murmured, staring down at my baby. "Come meet you baby sister."

He ran over to the edge of the bed. Kili lifted him up to kneel on the edge, and his little hands pulled the blanket away from her face. He stared down at her in awe. "What's her name?"

"Kiyera," I replied softly.

Fili smiled down at me. "She's beautiful, Princess."

"Hi," Kirin told his little sister, taking her hand gently. "I'm your brother. I'm gonna protect you, okay?"

Kili and Fili looked up at each other and smiled knowingly. They were five years apart, just like my kids. I smiled and held my babies close. Kirin wrapped his arm around my neck, holding Kiyera's hand with his other one.

"I'm so proud of you," Kili whispered.

I thought back to the struggles I had gone through before our marriage; how confused I had been. I was so glad that my eyes had been opened. If I hadn't… I never would have had such beautiful children or had such an amazing husband. I hadn't had an episode in over a decade, and whenever my mind started to slip, Kili was always there to catch me.

"I love you," I murmured, feeling his arms wrap around me. Kiyera opened her eyes. They were green: exactly like mine. She smiled up at me, her little face lighting up.

"I love you too."


	23. Chapter 23

I would LOVE it if you would leave a review saying what you liked/dislike about to story to help improve my writing :) Guys, I can't say how much this story means to me. I've been working on this this for over a year, and I can't believe that I've finally finished it. I've dealt with so many ideas, good and bad, visions, and faulty updates, but I made it through. For those who have been with me from the very beginning, I can't thank you enough for supporting me. I can't thank any of you, old or new, enough. Every review, every favorite, every follow… they all make me so, so happy. I love you guys so much; y'all are amazing. If you wish to continue on the next step of the journey, look for the sequel, Daughter of the Dawn. It had been up for a while, but I will work on it much more frequently now that the Greenwood Trilogy is complete. It will be updated as soon as I get back from holiday in Northern Ireland, _possibly _tomorrow afternoon, if I don't have to evacuate my house to redo the floors. Goodbye, guys! Thank you, and I love you!


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